


Season Two

by danaheeroduomax



Series: Mutation Series [3]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, F/M, Language, M/M, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 19:19:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 90,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danaheeroduomax/pseuds/danaheeroduomax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This picks up right after Season One.  This is an Alternate Universe where there are mutations, things like Ricks super-strength, or Daryl becoming the ultimate hunter able to see at night and so on.  Everyone is infected and they have no idea what to expect next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Lies Ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or show, I'm just having a lot of fun with them. I don't make anything off this story but the kind reviews from my reader.
> 
> The Italic's is Rick from the present, this chapter is from Daryl's POV.

What Lies Ahead

_That wasn’t the worst that happened to us, losing Amy, Jim and Jacqui was just the beginning.  I will say that it wasn’t all bad, we had a few surprises and a few things to celebrate and we didn’t let a moment of it just pass us by like before.  Because then we realized how rare peace and normalcy was going to be, and we had to grab it when it showed up.  Because tragedy was always just around the corner and each one was scarier and sadder and harder to deal with then the last.  So you’ll be hearing from several of us, as we tell you what happened next in our journey to make it in this new apocalyptic civilization._

My name’s Daryl Dixon and I just found out I was going to be a father, turns out I’m so good I knocked up a guy.  I’d been screwing around with him for the last few weeks, but because of these mutations he was able to conceive.  On top of that my brother was still missing and with one less body part, his hand to be exact.  We were just driving away from the fiery crater that had been the C.D.C. building; in the last week we’ve lost Merle, Amy, several others I didn’t get know, Jim and Jacqui.  She was the most recent having been in the C.D.C. when it exploded.

We drove for hours, well into the night until Rick stopped in a small suburban neighborhood, which was a good thing my truck had been running on fumes that last few miles.  Glenn was passed out with his head on my lap.  I kept thinking back to those last remaining minutes trapped in that room, finding out Glenn was pregnant and then getting locked in there by Doctor psycho.  I had been pissed, and scared and the more freighted I got, the angrier I became.  I wasn’t scared of myself; I was terrified of losing Glenn and my unborn child.  Which had made no sense to me at the time, but over the next few weeks my mixed emotions would end up no longer being mixed.

We didn’t do much discussing that night, just cleared out a couple of houses, found a place to sleep for the night, couches, the floor or a bed or two.  Glenn and I stayed in the master bedroom sleeping cuddled up together; no one questioned it, at least not until the next day.

It was that morning that we searched the houses for food, then sat down to discuss all that had happened and figure out where to go next.  About an hour after eating lunch Rick sighed then spoke up.  “Let’s get some things cleared up, Glenn, are you really pregnant?”  Glenn was sitting next to me holding his recently empty plate.

“Yes.  It makes sense all the symptoms, I think the stomach cramps were because I was hungry and the baby wasn’t happy about it.  Plus I’m sure it wasn’t happy with all the throwing up I’d been doing.”  Glenn said as he tried to explain why I had to carry him to the C.D.C. building.

“He’s right, going back over the last few days it all adds up, and then the glow weather he knows it not, I would’ve asked or suggested that he was pregnant, but the fact that he was a man kept my mouth shut.”  Lori said as she put her arm around Carl.

“Do I need to ask who the father is?”  Rick asked as he looked at the group then turned to me, everyone was looking at me, I had stopped hiding it the moment I found out.

“Just so you know, I was never ashamed of being gay, I just didn’t have a death wish.”  I stated.

“Your brother?”  Rick asked.

I didn’t respond to that, because it was the truth.  “Okay so now that you know, let’s make things perfectly clear, y’all aren’t my friends, you left my brother to die and I have forgiven you, ‘cause you tried to help me get him back.  So Rick, T-Dog we’re even.  But now you have to earn my trust and loyalty, it starts here and now.”  I turned to Glenn as I continued.  “I don’t show affection well, but I like you, and I’m not going to be a dead beat dad, but I’m not ready for the whole family thing.”

“I understand Daryl, I’m okay with going slow, and truth is this wasn’t what I was expecting either.  So let’s keep things as they are and go from there.”  Glenn suggested.

“I can do that.”

“Good, now that, that is cleared up, let’s discuss the mutations.”  Dale suggested.

“Good idea Dale, who’s got ‘em and who doesn’t, has anyone noticed anything unusual with them or someone else?”  Rick asked.  Shane got up and walked out to his jeep from the house we’d been squatting in for the last day.  He came back a few minutes later with a tire iron, it was a single metal bar with a twist at the end of it; he handed it to Rick.

“Bend that.”  Shane told him as he sat back down.

Rick took the bar grabbing it from either end then bent it in half without breaking a sweat.  “Okay, I’m unnaturally strong.”

Shane took the bar back grabbed it from either end and then straightened it, he used too much force and it broke in two.  “I’m stronger.”  Shane said.

“I can see in the dark, and hear really far, I’m sure other things are changing as well.”  I informed them.

“That’s pretty cool.”  Glenn said.  “Besides being pregnant I’m pretty fast and I’ve gotten more agile lately.”

“Anyone else.”  Rick asked, everyone either shrugged or shook their head.  “Okay, let’s discuss where to go next.”  Rick said changing the subject to something more important at the moment.

“I say we try my idea and head for Fort Benning.”  Shane suggested.

“At least it’d be a direction.”  T-Dog agreed.

“On what gas we’re low as it is.”  Lori reminded us.

“Then we need to down size this convoy.”  Rick suggested.

“Rick’s right.”  Glenn agreed as he pointed his thumb at him.

“My truck’s on empty anyways so I’ll ride my brother’s bike; I can drive ahead of the caravan and come back if there’s something that the cars can’t get around.”  I told ‘em.

“I can lose the jeep and ride in the R.V.”  Shane suggested.

“I can abandon the van; I’ll join Shane in the R.V.”  T-Dog seconded.

“Rick, my station wagons big enough for your family as well.”  Carol threw out there.

“Thanks Carol, Andrea you can join the R.V. crew.”  Rick informed her.

“Got it, so we can just siphon the gas from the others and have more to travel on.”  Andrea said.

“What about Glenn?”  Carol asked.

“He rides with me.”  I stated matter of fact.

“Daryl I don’t think a bike ride while pregnant is a good idea.”  Lori told me.

“Lori’s right, plus the R.V. has a bathroom.”  Glenn said. “I’ll ride with them.”

“All right.”  I relented.

“Okay, I think we need to take the highway it’ll be faster and easier getting to Fort Benning.  It’ll use up less gas too.”  Rick suggested.

“Well that sounds like a plan; when do we start?”  Andrea asked.

“First thing in the morning, we all need another day to rest and recuperate our emotions.”  Rick said.

The rest of us seconded that, some were still grieving for their loss, I was speaking of Andrea and T-Dog; he’d been close to Jacqui.  So we took care of ourselves the rest of the day, cleaned our clothes, washed up the best we could in the situation we’d been placed in.  Some of us shaved, I liked my goatee right where it was, on my face. And as the day came to an end me and Glenn headed to the master room again where we talked a little while before going to sleep.

I found out that night that his father disowned him when he came out, he got a pizza deliver job to pay for college, he found out that my first real relationship was with my next door neighbor, who looked great mowing his lawn.  I didn’t mention much about myself or past, well not the important stuff, I wasn’t ready and Glenn never pushed, ever, that kid surprised me with how patient he was.  No one, not even the neighbor had enough patients to coax me out, he did.

The next morning we packed up our bags and loaded the cars, Rick went to make his call as T-Dog and I siphoned off the gas and loaded them up.  Rick got back as I started up my brother’s bike, I suppose it’s now mine.  I saw Carol and Sophia getting into the Station Wagon with Rick and his family.  T-Dog and Glenn went into the R.V. with Andrea and Dale.

I stopped right behind where the station wagon was parked as I saw Rick kiss Lori; I looked in the other direction and noticed Shane watching not far from them.  Rick turned and looked at him as Lori got in the car, he smiled, Shane smiled back, they both nodded before Rick joined her.

“Son, let’s saddle up.”  Dale called to Shane just before getting in the R.V.  Shane moved from his spot to the R.V. and got on bored.  I headed out front, of the convoy, with Dale right behind me and Rick taking the rear as we headed to the highway and Fort Benning.

It was a few hours on the empty highway, at least our side; the other was jammed packed with vehicles.  Then a problem came up, as not all those vehicles stayed to one side of this highway, I sped up as I weaved through the cars to see if there was a way through for the convoy.  I looked back and saw the R.V. stop; there was a clear path if they went slow and followed me there shouldn’t be a problem, some cars could be pushed with a slight nudge out of the way; so then I turned and headed back.  I drove up to Dale’s window he looked at me.

“Do you see a way through?”  He asked, I nodded and jerked my head as a signal for him to continue on then went passed the R.V. and drove up to Rick’s window.

“What’s going on?”  He asked.

“I’m going to lead y’all through just go slow and follow me.” I informed him; then drove around and back to the front of Dale.

I went slow as I led them through this minefield of cars, some of which had bodies in them, most were abandoned, and quite a few had been flipped.  We were half way through when Dale’s radiator hose gave and his engine started to sputter as it steamed and hissed and then died.

I stopped and turned off my bike before headed back as they were getting out of their vehicles. “I said it, didn’t I say it?”  Dale said as he came around to the front of the R.V.  “A thousand times dead in the water.”

“Problem, Dale?”  Rick asked as he walked up to him.

“Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of—” Dale paused as he noticed that I went around to the back of one of the cars.  “Okay, that was dumb.”

I was going through what supplies were in the car as Shane said.  “If you can’t find a radiator hose here…”

“There’s a whole bunch of stuff we can find.”  I finished for him as I pulled out a back pack.

“I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start.”  T-Dog suggested.

“Maybe some water.”  Carol piped in as she wrapped her arms around Sophia.

“Or food.”  Glenn suggested next, I was betting he could use some food right about then.

“This is a graveyard.”  Lori informed us; I looked at her my arm still searching through the car.  “I don’t know how I feel about this.”  She said.

“All right, all right, here we go.  Come on y’all just look around, gather what you can.”  Rick said. T-Dog headed back to grab the gas cans and hoses to start siphoning the cars.  Everyone started going in separate directions as they looked for things we needed to survive.  I finished my search on this car coming up empty.

I grabbed my bow from where I’d hooked it on the back of my Harley and followed T-Dog to one of the cars.   I had an arrow in my mouth as we opened up the gas cap, he started to siphon from it as I took the other gas can and hose and headed to another car, I passed Carol as I went, she was riffling through a suit case placing a rather pretty blouse up against her body, I tuned them out as I set up the can next to one of the cars.

I started siphoning from while I took the arrow out of my mouth and loaded it into my bow, I looked in the backseat then, there was a car seat strapped in, covered in blood.  I set my bow next to the can, and while the car was empting I went to the back and started going through it, there were blankets and pillows some boxes of clothes, then I saw a diaper bag and I grabbed it. 

As I looked through it, I found: diapers, wipes, some baby toys, a few bottles some empty some not; I tossed those, there was a colorful blanket that was rather soft, a book teaching the ABCs, a couple of baby clothes, a feminine product named tampon; I figured the girls would end up needing those, there was also a wallet, a powdered milk container that was more than half full; still good, there was nail polish, lip stick, some sort of cream and baby powder, I zipped up the bag and slung it on my back.

Once the car was on empty I picked up the can and felt that it was not quite full yet, I picked up my bow with my other head and headed to the next car, and as it was siphoning I stood and stretched glancing around, that’s when I saw them, several walkers headed our way; in fact it was a whole herd.

I tossed the diaper bag next to the car as I saw Rick dive under a vehicle along with the rest of his family and Carol and her daughter as well.  I looked around and saw Glenn oblivious to the threat; I gripped my bow as I started to make my way to him while staying hidden behind the cars.  There was a time when a situation like this would come up and I’d only think of myself, I thought of Merle to but he could take care of himself, I never worried about him.  But then and now I think of Glenn first not myself, I’m constantly worrying about Glenn not myself, now that was a big difference I noticed, between who I used to be and who I became.

I stopped as I saw Shane push Glenn under the van he’d been working on; I crouched next to a car.  I looked around and saw T-Dog running; he got stuck at a car when he suddenly cut himself.  “Shit.”  I muttered as I ran around the cars.

I saw T-Dog running from the walkers; he was bleeding from his arm leaving a trail.  There were cars and walkers in the way so I knew I’d have to go the long way around if I wanted to reach him before he became walker food.

I saw a walker trap T-Dog as he stumbled and fell on his ass against one of the cars.  I finally made it as I crouched behind a car and looked at the walker as he passed me headed straight for T-Dog.  I stood up dropping my bow on the hood of a car and with my knife I grabbed it around the throat and right at the top of the spine into its brain I stuck my knife.  It started collapsing as I lowered it to the ground with me on top.

I took out my knife as I looked at T-Dog; there was fear and pain in his eyes, as well as shocked surprise that I just saved his life.  T-Dog started sobbing in both pain and fear as I put my finger to my mouth.  “Shh.” I told him as I grabbed his legs and pulled him down onto the asphalt.

I turned and grabbed the walker I just killed and placed it on top of T-Dog to cover his scent.  Then walked over him to the car he’d been against, there was a dead body sitting in the drivers seat, it had had been there for a while.  I grabbed it and pulled it on top of myself, I breathed through my mouth as I tried not to think about the dead face that was right there laying on me.  I heard some walkers as they shuffled passed us.

After a few minutes when there was no more shuffling and the growling sounds were gone I moved.  My first thought was to get this stinking ass off of me and check on T-Dog, make sure he hadn’t bled out.

I got to my hands and knees and pushed the dead walker off of T-Dog, then grabbed his shirt and pulled him up.  He groaned as he sat.  The bandanna Glenn had wrapped around my hand several days ago was in my pocket, I used it to press into T-Dog’s wounded arm.  I’d cleaned it yesterday so it was safe to use on T-Dog.  My hand was healing nicely I had noticed when I took the bandage off last night.

While he held the bandanna there I crouched low and took a look around when I saw Sophia screaming and running to the woods while she was being chased by two walkers, I saw Rick follow her as the rest were coming out of their hiding spots.  I got T-Dog up and pushed him toward the R.V. grabbing my crossbow from the hood of the car where I’d dropped it when I saved his black ass.

I saw them gather at the guardrail Rick had jumped over just moments before.  Carol had ran to the guardrail.  “Lori.”  She cried Lori was by her with Carl, Shane and Glenn right behind them.  “There’s two walkers are after my baby.”  Carol cried as Lori grabbed her keeping her from running after them.  Andrea and Dale had joined them as Lori wrapped her arms around Carol.

I walked up to them, T-Dog next to me holding his arm.  Andrea saw him and took him to the R.V. where she could wrap up his arm and get the bleeding under control.  I went to Glenn and put my hand on his shoulder.  “I’m okay.  Just-” He bent over the guardrail then and threw up.  There wasn’t much I could do for him as he finished.

Rick arrived several minutes later.  “Where’s Sophia?”  Carol asked as she noticed her daughter wasn’t with him.

“What?  She’s not here?”  Rick asked.

“Last we saw she was with you.”  Lori told him.

I had a feeling something had gone wrong.  “Rick, show me where you last saw her.”  I said, I was the best tracker the group had, scratch that, I was the _only_ tracker the group had.  Glenn and Shane followed us as Rick led me to the creek and the burrow he’d left her hiding.  I looked at Rick as I asked.  “Sure this is the spot?”

He walked up next to me as he said.  “I left her right here.”  He stretched his hand out to the burrow.

“I drew the walker’s way off in that direction up the creek.”  He said as he pointed before resting his hands on his legs.

“Without a paddle—seems where we’ve landed.”  I informed him.

“She was gone by the time I got back here, I figured she just took off and ran back to the group.  I told her go that way and keep the sun on her left shoulder.”  He explained as he pointed to a trail up the creek that would take her right back to the highway.

I walked to the edge and looked up at Glenn.  “Hey, short round, why don’t you step off to one side?  You’re mucking up the trail.”  I told him.  He looked at me as he held his shot gun close to his chest before moving off the trail.

“Assuming she knows her left from her right.”  Shane said.

“Shane, she understood me fine.”  Rick told him, frustratingly.

“Kids tired and scared, man.  She had her a close call with two walkers, got to wonder how much of what you said stuck.”

Once Glenn had moved away some I saw the tracks.  “Got clear prints right here, she did like you said headed back to the highway.”  I informed Rick as he walked over to me; I placed my crossbow in my left hand.  “Let’s spread out, make our way back.”  I told ‘em as Shane gave me a hand up out of the creek bed.

“She couldn’t have gone far.”  Rick stated as Shane helped him out as well.

“Hey, we gonna find her.”  He told Rick before letting his hand go, as Rick followed us Shane taking the rear he continued.  “She’ll be tuckered out hiding in the bush somewhere.”

I led the way as I stayed low to the ground my bow in my right hand again as I followed the trail, I stopped and knelt on the ground my free hand resting on my knee.  Glenn stopped behind me, Rick off to the side a bit and Shane walked up and crouched with his shot gun against his shoulder between his legs trying to see what I see.

“She was doing just fine till right here.”  I explained.  I looked off in the direction she had been heading in as I continued.  “All she had to do was keep going.”  I used my arm and pointed it in the other direction.  “She veered off that way.”

“Why would she do that?”  Glenn asked.

“Maybe she saw something that spooked her made her run off.”  Shane theorized.

“A walker?”  Glenn asked

I shook my head then informed ‘em.  “I don’t see any other footprints.  Just hers.”  I informed ‘em.

“So what do we do?  All of us press on?”   Shane asked as he looked at Rick.

“No, better if you and Glenn get back up to the highway.  People are gonna start panicking.”  Rick said, then Shane stood back up as Rick continued.  “Let them know we’re on her trail doing everything we can.  _But_ most of all keep everybody calm.”

“I’ll keep ‘em busy scavenging cars think up a few other chores.  I’ll keep ‘em occupied.”  Shane said then turned and headed back to the highway Glenn behind him.  I grabbed Glenn as he passed me and kissed him real quick, it was all I could do to tell him it’d be all right and Rick and I will do our best to bring her back safe and sound.  Glenn seemed to understand as he smiled at me before following Shane.

“Come on.”  Rick said as I watched Glenn a few seconds before we continued to follow her trail.

I grabbed my bow with both hands as I headed deeper into the woods with Rick behind me.  For several minutes close to an hour we followed the trail.  Not a word between us, which was fine with me, I preferred the silence, I had learned that early on when hunting, it just became a habit not to talk.  That is until it became necessary to speak.

“Tracks are gone.”  Rick said.

I kicked a few leaves off the trail and bent closer, I was thankful for my improved eyesight as I saw them.  “No, they’re faint, but they ain’t gone.”  I informed Rick.  I pointed them out as I continued.  “She came through here.”

“How can you tell?”  Rick asked.  “I don’t see anything dirt, grass.”

“You want a lesson in tracking or you want to find that girl and get our ass off that interstate?”   I asked, he shut up.  “Besides with these eyes I don’t miss much anymore.”

“Right.”  Rick muttered as he fell into step on my left as he followed.

We kept moving for several minutes, more like a couple of hours probably, Rick was holding his pistol in his right hand as he moved to my other side, it was quite, no birds nothing.  Then we heard leaves rustling ahead of us, we both crouched down I got my bow ready to fire while Rick kept his piece down not wanting to attract unwanted attention.

Rick pointed the direction it had come from and he started to lead the way as I stayed at the ready while I followed him keeping our steps light.  I think I’d gotten use to the smell of death ‘cause I smelt that sucker way before it started making noise, I just didn’t mention it, mostly because these new improved senses were something I was having to get use to and learn how to use them.

We looked down a slight hill at the walker; it was a guy once, probably a good looking ladies’ man before he became walker food.  But I really wouldn’t know much about that, I was never a ladies man, for one thing I didn’t know how to talk to them or relate to ‘em.   With men it was always easy, when I wasn’t around my family that is.

Rick looked at me I gave him a signal to go to the left, I went to the right and we pincer moved the fucker.  Rick got its attention as he whistled, it roared at him for ‘bout a second before my arrow went through its skull, and he collapsed on the ground.

Rick and I walked up to him; I braced my foot on its back as I grabbed my arrow and pulled it out.  I backed a few steps from it before raising my voice.  “Sophia!”  Rick pulled out a pair of gloves from his back pocket and put them on as he knelt down next to the walker.

“What are you looking for?”  I asked.

“Skin under the fingernails.”  He explained before rolling him over.  “It fed recently.”  He opened its jaw and tried to pull something out of its mouth.  “There’s flesh caught in its teeth.”  He pulled it out of the fucker’s mouth as I crouched next to him.

“Yeah, what kind of flesh?”  I asked.

“Only one way to know for sure.”  He pulled out a short knife from his other back pocket then opened the guys bloodied shirt, its stomach was distended, so it’s been chowing down on something.  I pulled on some gloves before touching his shoulder.

“Here, I’ll do it.”  I pulled out my hunting knife as I asked.  “How many kills you skin and gutted in your life?  Anyway, mine is sharper.”  I straddled the body then, using my feet I braced myself as I gripped the handle with both hands, then jammed the knife from tip to hilt into the dead guys gut with a grunt as I started to use a sawing motion back and forth as I pulled it down to open the guys stomach up.

I’ll tell you this right now in all the years of hunting and gutting kills the inside always, always smells worse than the outside.  So while I was cutting Rick was making a face as he turned away from the putrid smell of death, I had learned early on to breathe through my mouth to control both the intake of the smell, and the gag reflex.  I got done with the first cut, I pulled my knife out and jammed it in a second time; Rick flinched at the sound and the smell.

I cut a third time before the hole in the guy’s gut was big enough for me to get in there and dig around.   Rick looked at me, then back at the dead body as I finished, I put my knife down before looking at him.  “Now comes the bad part.”  I warned this is when the smells really hit you, when you start riffling through the guts.

I used my hand to dig and maneuver inside this guy’s belly before I started pulling things out.  Unlike most of my kills where their body parts are red some tinged pink or a tannish gray color, this guy was all black and dark green.   He’d been dead a while before I killed him for good, as the blood was black as night.

Rick had to cover his mouth as I pulled out some intestine before I reached in and found the stomach.  “Yeah, hoss had a big meal not long ago.”  I told Rick as I felt around the stomach.  “I feel it in there.”  Using my other hand as leverage I pulled his whole stomach out and laid it on the ground so we could go through it.

“Here’s the gut bag.”   I informed Rick who looked at it.

“I got this.”  He took his pick sticker and cut into the stomach, opening up its contents.  We used our knives to take out the contents, Rick pulled out some mush and threw it on the ground; I pulled out the skull of a rodent.

“This gross bastard had himself a woodchuck for lunch.”  I informed Rick as I examined the skull of said rodent.  Then tossed it to the ground before I stood grabbing my arrow and bow.

“At least we know.”  Rick said.

“At least we know.”  I seconded before we both headed back to the highway, the sun was going to be setting soon and there was no way we’d be able to find her in the dark.  Seeing as I’m the only one that can see in the dark a one man hunting party won’t cover much ground.

On the way back Rick stopped and turned to me.  “Daryl, there’s going to be a lot of questions and Carol’s probably going to be in a panic.  I know we can’t leave until we find Sophia but we aren’t woodsmen, you are.  When we get back to the group I need to get us organized.  So my question is will you help oversee that it gets done properly and we don’t lose more people.”

“Sure Rick, I already planned on doin’ that anyways.”  I told him.  He turned and picked up the pace a bit as there was a golden hue showing up, which told us the sun was starting to set.  It was the truth, you see I felt this need to find her, mostly because ever since Glenn’s condition was known I became scared, terrified even that I’d be just like my old man, a mean drunk with a bad temper to boot.  I thought that if I could find Sophia then I could take care of and protect my own child.  This search didn’t end well.

I could hear some of our group talking as we neared the interstate, couldn’t say who or what was being said, but as Carol came into view I did hear Glenn plain as day.   “Oh God, they’re back.”  A heard a clunk on the asphalt like something was set down, before the group headed for the guard rail.  Rick was a few paces ahead a me as he got to Carol first.  She was just standing at the guardrail waiting; the saddest thing for a parent, is waiting for news of their lost child.

“You didn’t find her?”  Carol asked when Rick stopped.

“Her trail went cold.  We’ll pick it up again at first light.”  Rick informed her as he stepped over the guardrail.

The others had gathered as Carol begged him.  “You can’t leave my daughter out there on her own to spend the night alone in the woods.”  I had reached them standing on the other side of the rail; I had my crossbow slung on my back.

“Hunting in the dark’s no good, y’all just be tripping over yourselves, more people get lost.”  I explained.

“But she’s twelve, she can’t be out there on her own.  You didn’t find anything?”  She asked sorrow and fear were in her voice as tears appeared in her eyes.

“I know this is hard, but I’m asking you not to panic.  We know she was out there.”  Rick said trying to calm her down.

“And we tracked her for a while.”  I added.

“We have to make this an organized effort.”  Rick said as he addressed the whole group.  “Daryl knows the woods better than anybody; I’ve asked him to oversee this.”

Carol noticed a spot on my pants that I got when I was digging around in hoss’s stomach.  “Is that blood?”  She asked her breathing picked up as she was headed closer to a panic attack.

“We took down a walker.”  Rick explained.

“Walker?  Oh my God.”  Carol was start to look a little faint.

“There was no sign it was ever anywhere near Sophia.”  Rick told her trying to calm her down.

Lori put her hand on Carol’s arm to help comfort her as Andrea asked.  “How can you know that?”

Rick looked at me.  “We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure.”  I informed them.

Carol turned around and sat on the guardrail.  “Oh God.”  Sounded more in relief that time then in panic.  Lori sat next to her rubbing her back as she tried to get her breathing under control.   She looked at Rick and said.  “How could you just leave her out there to begin with?  How could you just leave her?”  She was angry and scared and taking out on Rick.

“Those two walkers were on us.  I had to draw them off, it was her best chance.”  Rick explained, of course I tried to put myself in her shoes if it was mine and Glenn’s child that he left, I knew I’d probably be pissed, but truth was I wouldn’t leave our kid in his care.  I’d have gone after ‘em and protected them myself, I glanced at Glenn real quick.

Shane walked up to Rick and looked at Carol.  “Sounds like he didn’t have a choice, Carol.”

“How was she supposed to find her way back on her own?”  Carol asked tears in her eyes and voice as she was losing the battle not to cry.  “She’s just a child.”  Rick knelt in front of her, Carol bent towards him as she repeated.  “She’s just a child.”

Lori pulled her back as Rick looked up at her and continued to try and explain.  “It was my only option the only choice I could make.”

Shane was leaning against the guardrail as he spoke up.  “I’m sure nobody doubts that.”

“My little girl got left in the woods.”  She started to give into her tears.  I finally crossed the guardrail and walked up to Glenn putting my hand on his shoulder.  Rick stood then and walked away, there was nothing more he could say to convince Carol that it had been his only option to save Sophia’s life.  Andrea sat on the other side of Carol as she broke down and cried.

Rick was upset it was easy to see in his stride as he walked down the highway until he was out of view.  I turned my attention to Glenn as I pulled him to where I left the diaper bag and gas canister.  It was full now the car on empty, I picked up the bag and showed Glenn.  “This stuff is great Daryl, I’ll go store it with are things in the R.V.”  Glenn said as he moved off.  But not before he kissed me long and hard.

I leaned against the car as I watched the sun set, I could hear the sobs from Carol but it had dimmed as I tried to tune her out.  “Daryl, here.”  I snapped my head up when I heard Glenn so close to me, I hadn’t even realized I’d closed my eyes until then.  Glenn was handing me a bottle of water which I took gratefully as I chugged the whole thing in one go, I was so thirsty.

Glenn looked around and then took my hand and led me further from the group, it was one of those days when I let Glenn take the lead in our relationship.  One of the cars was a pretty big, mostly empty SUV; Glenn opened the back and had me get in on the bench seat.  I leaned against the other door as he crawled in after me he left the door open to give himself a little more room to move.

Glenn knelt between my legs; I had one on the bench seat the other hanging off with my foot on the floor.  Glenn reached for my pants and started to take off my belt, then unbuttoned and unzipped them before pulling, I lifted up some off the seat, my boots went with my pants leaving me in my boxers and shirt.

I didn’t say anything as Glenn pulled at my boxers, again I lifted; I wasn’t up to doing much, more worn out from the emotions of the day than anything else.  But Glenn seemed to know exactly what I needed.  He pulled out a rag and used another bottle of water to wet it, which he then ran over my face, down my chest as he unbuttoned my shirt.  As he got to my waist he wet the rag and rung it out before continuing.  This wouldn’t be the first time he bathed me like this, at some point it becomes a ritual between us to help us connect, when either of us or both have a stressful day.

Once he cleaned me up he rung out the rag and set it on the floor near where my foot was resting before he moved and kissed me, I deepened the kiss as I tasted his mouth, and enjoyed the small tongue battle before I let him win.  When he pulled back he said.  “I love you, Daryl.”

I didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, Glenn continued.  “I know you can’t say the words yet, I know you have a hard time believing that I love you, so I’m going to continue to say it until you can say it back, and then I’ll know that you believe that someone in this world loves you Daryl Dixon.”  He kissed me again before moving down to my hardening cock.

He started at the root with his tongue, just small licks, until I was fully hard, I moaned as he lavished attention to my aching member.  Then as he licked the tip he opened his mouth and engulfed me fully, right passed his gag reflex, he’s clearly had experience.  That made me a tad bit jealous, that I wasn’t the first, but I got passed that as I moaned when he started to suck.

He would suck; then lick, he’d pull off only to engulf me again, he moaned a couple of times sending vibrations through me.  Each time I would get close to coming he’d pull off, for several minutes he’d do that until I finally ground out.  “Glenn fuckin’ stop the teasin’.”  He smirked; I saw it in his eyes as he looked at me.  But did as I requested, he sucked hard, seconds later I fell over the edge into his moist warm heat, with a cry of ecstasy.  He swallowed not letting a drop get away, he licked me clean before he pulled away, then with his help I got dressed in some fresh clothes he had gotten that I hadn’t noticed until then.  He must’ve placed them there when I’d been trying to tune Carol out.  I rested a few minutes before Glenn pulled me up and we went back to the group.

He slept; I didn’t, not much anyways.  I kept watch for most the night, Shane did relieve me a good three hours before sun up then it was time to gear up and head back out to look for Sophia again.

Once we were all gathered T-Dog included, Rick unrolled a black tool bag filled with knives and other sharp objects on top of the trunk of one of the cars.  Dale informed us that Carl found it yesterday while we were looking for Sophia, well it was about to come in handy.

“Everybody takes a weapon.”  Rick said as he picked up his hat.  I was standing next to him with my bow on my back as I looked at them.

“These aren’t the kind of weapons we need.”  Andrea said on the other side of the car.  “What about the guns?”  She asked.

“We’ve been over that.”  Shane said from his position against the R.V. next to T-Dog.  Lori stepped up to the weapons and looked through them, Carl was right behind her, she picked a knife; all the weapons were sheathed so I don’t know which blade she picked as she walked off.  “Daryl, Rick and I are carrying.”  Shane continued.  “We can’t have people popping off rounds every time a tree rustles.”  Glenn came up next to pick a blade, then stepped to the side and unsheathed it, while we continued to discuss the gun issue with Andrea.

“It’s not the trees I’m worried about.”  Andrea said adamantly.

I was watching Glenn as he looked at the blade he picked; it had a curved end with a sharp point that faced the wilder.

“Say somebody fires at the wrong moment, a herd happens to be passing by.  See, then it’s game over for all of us.  So you need to get over it.” Shane finished as he slung his pack on his back while Glenn sheathed his weapon.

“The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side.  Chances are she’ll be by the creek.  It’s her only landmark.”  I instructed once the gun matter had been settled.  I walked passed Rick to where Glenn was packing his stuff.

“Stay quiet, and stay sharp.  Keep space between you but always stay within sight of each other.”  Rick finished and walked over to Dale who was sitting on the steps into his R.V.

“Everybody assemble your packs.”  Shane said.

“Dale, keep on those repairs.  We’ve got to get this R.V. ready to move.”  Rick told him.  I grabbed leaned against a truck as Glenn put food and water battles in his pack.

“We won’t stay here a minute longer than we have to.  Good luck out there, bring Sophia back.”  Dale told Rick.

“Keep an eye on Carl while we’re gone.”  Rick requested of Dale.

“I’m going with you.”  Carl said.  “You need people, right?  To cover as much ground as possible.”  He reasoned with his father.   Rick groaned as he looked at his wife.  I looked back down at Glenn as he fished packing up, I wasn’t sure I wanted Glenn to go but he was a grown man, I wasn’t gonna tell him what to do.  Not yet at least.

Lori looked back at Rick as she spoke.  “Your call, I can’t always be the bad guy.”

Dale spoke up next.  “Well, he has all of you to look after him.  I’d say he’s in good hands.”

Rick sighed as he relented.  “Okay, okay.”  He placed his hand on Carl’s shoulder as he told him.  “But always within our sight, no exceptions.”  Rick walked off to get his stuff.  I noticed Dale wink at Carl before they smiled at each other, and then Carl went with his mother.

I turned my back then as I loaded my bow with as many arrows as it could hold, but I did hear Dale talk to Andrea.  “Andrea, I’m begging you, don’t put me in this position.”

“I’m not going out there without my gun.  I’ll even say please.”

“I’m doing this for you.”

“No, Dale, you’re doing it for you, you need to stop.  What do you think’s gonna happen?  I’m gonna stick it in my mouth and pull the trigger the moment you hand it to me?”  Rick noticed the conversation going on as he turned to watch them, he put his hat back on while he surveyed but didn’t but in.

“I know you’re angry at me.  That much is clear.”  Shane was watching as well, he was holding his shotgun against his shoulder as he stood there, Dale continued.  “But if I hadn’t done what I did, you’d be dead now.”

“Jenner gave us an option, I chose to stay.”

“You chose suicide.”

“So what’s that to you?  You barely know me.”

“I know Amy’s death devastated you.”

“Keep her out of this.  This is not about Amy, this is about us.”  The rest of the group was watching and listening as Andrea raised her voice.  “And if I decided that I had nothing left to live for, who the hell are you to tell me otherwise?  To force my hand like that?”

“I saved your life.”

“No, Dale.  I saved yours, you forced that on me.  I didn’t want your blood on my hands and that is the only reason I left that building.  What did you expect?  What, I’d have some kind of epiphany?  Some life-affirming catharsis?”

“Maybe just a little gratitude.”

“Gratitude?  I wanted to die my way, not torn apart by drooling freaks.  That was my choice.  You took that away from me, Dale.”

“But—”

“But you know better?  All I wanted after my sister died was to get out of this endless horrific nightmare we live every day.  I wasn’t hurting anyone else.  You took my choice away, Dale.  And you expect gratitude?”  A tear slipped down her cheek as she finished her admission.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not your little girl, I’m not your wife, and I am sure as hell not your problem.  That’s all there is to say.”  She then walked passed Dale, who looked devastated as he watched her go.

I walked after her the rest following as we headed back out into the woods to find Sophia.  I’ll tell you this right now, back then I agreed with Andrea, it was her life and her choice to die.  These days, I would agree with Dale, life is what keeps us human, their choice or not, death isn’t the answer, it’s just a way out.

T-Dog stayed with Dale, the rest of us, Carl included headed out to find Sophia.  No matter how hard I try I can’t forget those grueling days before we found her, and after.

As we got to the woods I took point the rest following me in this order.  Rick, Andrea, Carol, Glenn who’d left his cap behind I noticed, Carl, Lori and Shane took up the rear.

I slowed my pace as I saw a camp site ahead of us.   There was a tent; it was a sickly color green and tan.  I pointed at Rick then the tent; I crouched down as he turned and stopped the rest of them before crouching next to me.  Carol and Andrea followed suit, Glenn was behind them and Shane had walked up next to Glenn, Lori and Carl taking the rear.

“She could be in there.”  Shane said quietly.

“Could be a whole bunch of things in there.”  I whispered as I moved forward keeping my bow at the ready and going slow.  Rick followed, the rest were going to, but he stopped them, we didn’t need all of them crowding us, the fewer the easier to keep out of sight should there be walkers around.

Shane followed, but he was trained so that was okay, I didn’t really have an opinion on Shane, just so you know I wasn’t blind of the tension between him and Lori, Rick might have been, but I knew what was going on, they had been giving off signs similar to myself and Glenn days before Rick left my brother on that roof.  So I didn’t have anything to say about him, or his tactics as long as I took care of my own and he didn’t cause any problems with that I didn’t give two shits what he did.

I crept up to the camp, while keeping an eye out for walkers.  We got around the trees until the tent was straight ahead.  I looked back at Rick and Shane; I made a signal for them to wait while I checked it out.  I pulled out my hunting knife I had cleaned while keeping watch last night and headed to the tent flap.

I set my bow down on the ground before I reached out with my now free hand as I looked through the small slit in the flap, I walked to one of the edges and moved it slightly out of the way to see inside without making myself a target.  I saw a figure in there but it wasn’t moving.  I turned to Rick and Shane and shrugged as I moved back to the flap.

Rick turned and motioned as he whispered.  “Carol.”  She rushed to him.  They walked a few more paces to the tent, Rick instructed her.  “Call out softly.  If she’s in there, yours is the first voice she should hear.”  The rest were coming up behind Shane.

“Sophia, sweetie, are you in there?”  I stayed at the flap waiting in case it wasn’t Sophia but a walker instead.  “Sophia, its mommy.  Sophia, we’re all here, baby.  It’s mommy.”  Rick and Shane walked up closer as I started to unzip the rest of the flap slowly.

Rick gripped his gun with both hands, ready to use it as I moved my hand to the pull the flap back.  I coughed into my arm as the smell hit me, there in the middle of the tent was a lawn chair with a body in it.  I walked in and around to get a better look, Rick backed off as he coughed and gaged, letting the flap close.  The guy’s been there a while; there were maggots and warms making a feast out of his face.

I could hear both Rick and Shane coughing outside.  “Daryl?”  Lori called.  I looked and saw a pistol in the guy’s lax hand.  I grabbed it by the grip frame and pulled it free; it looked like a six shooter.  I stuck it in the back of my pants before I exited the tent.

“It ain’t her.”  I informed them.

“What’s in there?”  Lori asked.

“Some guy.  Did what Jenner said and opted out.  Ain’t that what he called it?”  I picked up my bow and slung it on my shoulder.  Suddenly the sound of church bells ringing filled the silence.  We looked around then Rick headed off the rest of us followed at a quicker pace than before.

He slowed down at a small clearing.  “What direction?” Shane asked.

“I think that way, I’m pretty sure.”  Rick said pointing off in the distance.

“Damn it’s hard to tell out here.”  Shane said the sound was reverberating off the trees and echoing in all directions, making it difficult, even with my enhanced hearing to pinpoint its exact location.

“If we heard them maybe Sophia did too.”  Carol said with hope in her voice.  Hope was the best and worst thing for Carol to have at that point in time.

“Someone’s ringing those bells, maybe calling others.”  Glenn suggested.

“Or signaling they found her.”  Andrea theorized.

“She could be ringing them herself.”  Rick said next.  “Come on.”  Rick picked up the pace, we followed after him.

It was several minutes after the bells stopped ringing that we arrived at a cemetery, there was a white building in the center; it looked like a church.

“That can’t be it, got no steeple, no bells.”  Shane said which made us doubt it being our ringing church.  “Rick.”  Shane called as Rick started running toward the building, we were just seconds behind.  We ran passed tomb stones that had a people’s names and timelines, from birth to death carved into them.

We got to the building; Rick led the way to the front entrance.  He ran up the steps to the big red double doors.  I was right next to him standing across from him, bow gripped firmly in my hand, he motioned for everyone to be silent as he and I opened the doors slowly.

It was a small church with two sets of pews an isle between ‘em.  At the end was a cross with Jesus nailed to it.  There were three walkers sitting in a few of the pews as we looked in.  There were hanging chandeliers that served as light, I also noticed crosses and pictures on the walls between the stain glassed windows and there was a back door, and one side to door to the left of us.

The doors banged against the walls alerting the walkers to our presence, two of them were once men and the third was a woman who had a veil over her face, before she died I guess she was going to be married, that’s what I gathered from the attire she was dressed in.

They started to snarl at us, I had my bow raised.  Shane and Rick were next to me when Glenn walked up to us with the women not far behind.  The walkers started to stand, one looked like a pretty big guy, a little bit like a quarter back.  Rick holstered his gun then he reached back and Lori handed him her blade.

He headed for the big guy; I turned and took the blade from Glenn who grabbed my bow as I handed it to him.  Then headed around to the would be bride.  Rick pulled his arm back and with a grunt slammed the long straight knife into the guy’s forehead, when he pulled it out the guy dropped he slashed him several times.

Shane went for the other guy, with a blade that could’ve be deemed a short sword as he aimed it and stuck it right through the guy’s temple before pulling it out, the guy dropped.

I came around the other end near the wall to the woman; she had her attention on Shane, until I made some kissing sounds.  When she turned to me I slashed her across the face taking half her cheek and jaw, she dropped as I backed away from her.  I looked up and saw Shane still going at his walker, just like Rick.  Finally they both stopped, Rick was panting for breath as he looked at the crucifix right behind the pulpit.

The rest started to file into the church; Glenn was still at the door my crossbow gripped firmly in his hands.  I headed up the main walkway as Rick shouted.   “SOPHIA!”   He opened the side door and looked out while I stopped in front of the crucified Christ.

“Yo, J.C., you taking requests?”  I asked.  I can’t say I was a believer, I wasn’t then, I might be now, can’t say for sure.  But I figured hell it was worth shot if the big guy did exist.  Who was I to say he didn’t to those who believed.  I turned my back on him and headed to the rest of the group near the doors.

“I’m telling you, it’s the wrong church, it’s got no steeple, Rick.  There’s not steeple” Shane said adamantly.  A few seconds later the bell started ringing again, it was close, I’m talking right outside the walls close.

I ran for the doors the group moving aside to let me pass, Rick, Shane and the rest followed as I led the way around to the side of the building.  I looked up when I stopped, I saw connected to the building something that looked like a bull horn but was smaller and hooked up to some system that was making the ringing noise.

Glenn walked up to a small box, which he opened, and then pulled out the battery that made it work, the noise stopped.  “A timer, it’s on a timer.”  I told the group as I panted from my sudden sprint.

“I’m gonna go back in for a bit.”  Carol said as she headed back inside the church.   Most of us myself included went inside with Carol.  Andrea, Shane and Lori stayed outside, I could hear Lori and Shane speaking, I wasn’t eavesdropping as I tuned them out, I was starting to get pretty good at that, Lori came a minute or so later she walked up to Carol who was kneeling at the pulpit looking up at Christ, Lori sat on the pew right behind her.

“Father, forgive me.  I don’t deserve your mercy.”  Carol started.  “I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided.  I prayed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me and for looking at his own daughter with whatever sickness was growing in his soul.  I prayed you’d put a stop to it.”  Rick and Carl were against the wall on the right side of the door just watching.  I was to the left of the door keeping my hands gripped to the strap that held my crossbow on my back.

There was nothing we could do for her as she continued.  “Give me a chance to raise her right, help her not make my mistakes.  She’s so fearful.  She’s so young in her way.”  Glenn walked over to me as Carol was getting to him.  I put my arm around his shoulder and held him close; he placed a hand on his belly while his other arm wound around my waist.

“She hasn’t had a chance.  Praying for Ed’s death was a sin.  Please, don’t let this be my punishment, let her be safe, alive and safe.  Please, Lord.  Punish me however you want, but show mercy on her.”  Tears started to fall down Carol’s face.   She stood and looked at Lori who held out her hand to her.  Carol walked to her and sat next to Lori as she cried.  Lori kissed her head and held her hand trying to comfort her the only way she could.

For a few minutes we just stood there, finally Carol stood up and headed out, we followed, I let Glenn go as we joined the rest near a shaded tree.  I saw Andrea and Shane headed to us, they were talking; I tuned them out as I focused on Glenn and the rest as we tried to figure out where to search next.

I did tune in when Shane walked over to where Rick was standing.  “Got to move here, man.”  He said as he stopped next to him.  “These people are spent.  There’s only so many hours of daylight left, we still got a long way back.”

“I can’t stop, not yet.”   Rick told him.

“We still got a lot of ground to cover, whole other side of the creek bed.  So we search that one the way back.”  Shane suggested.

“She would have heard those church bells she could be nearby.”  Rick said as he looked off into the distance.

“She could be a lot of things.”

“I can’t go back.  Her being out here is my fault.”

“That’s great.  Now they got you doubting yourself, huh?”  The rest couldn’t hear what was being said, but I could.

They continued talking.  “What about you?  You doubt me?”  Rick asked.

“Hey, we can assign all kinds of blame.”

“This means something, finding her.”  Rick got closer to Shane.

“Oh man.”

“It would be the miracle we need we can’t give up.”  Shane sighed as he gave into what Rick needed; he tapped Rick’s shoulder before heading back to us, Shane addressed us as he stopped.

“Y’all gonna follow the creek bed back okay?   Daryl, you’re in charge.  Me and Rick, we’re just gonna hang back, search this area another hour or so just to be thorough.”  Shane told us.  Lori stood up put her pack back on, Rick walked up next to Shane then as well.

“You’re splitting us up, you sure?”  I asked, I didn’t like the idea of us being separated, bad things happen when we separate.  Like the whole reason Sophia got lost in the first place.

“Yeah, we’ll catch up to you.”  Shane told us.

“I want to stay too.”  Carl said.  “I’m her friend.”  He explained.

The guys didn’t speak so his mother did.  “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will.”

“When did you start growing up?”  Lori asked as she hugged him.  Rick walked up to them and kissed her before hugging her.  The rest of us were grabbing our packs and things while they were saying goodbye.

“I’ll be along soon enough.”  Rick told Lori.  After he pulled away he tried handing her his pistol.  “Here, take this.  Remember how to use it?”  He asked.

“I’m not taking your gun and leaving you unarmed.”  Lori told him.

I pulled out that small six shooter from dead guy’s tent and walked up to her.  “Here, got a spare, take it.”  I looked at Rick and nodded as Lori took it.  It was the start of our trust, like I had said three days ago, I’d forgiven him, that hadn’t been a lie; I just didn’t trust him yet.  But he was starting to trust me, and in the end we’d trust each other with our lives and families, just not then.

I led the way as Glenn, Carol, Lori, and Andrea who reluctantly followed.  Shane, Rick and Carl headed in the opposite direction; I wish I had gone with my gut instinct.  Us splitting up had been a bad idea, what happened over the next several days, and weeks will forever haunt us.  We just had no idea how bad it was going to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the moment the group split up will be the start of the next chapter, from Rick’s POV, the stuff that happens in the woods with Daryl’s group will be put in as a missing scene for the second episode. The story was really long and it seemed like a good place to stop for the chapter, before Rick prays and Carl gets shot, which goes into the second episode, so instead of splitting that part up in missing scenes I’d just play it all through with Rick’s POV, next chapter. Sorry that the first chapter was so long, it will probably be the longest chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it and will come back for the rest of the season. Please read and review. I will be posting the missing scenes for season two episode one by the end of this week or next. Thanks to all who have commented or gave kudos, or subscribed.


	2. Bloodletting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer on first chapter

Bloodletting

 Rick's POV

 

As Daryl’s group headed back into the woods to check the other side of the creek I walked over to Shane.  “Give me a minute?”  I asked.  We were going to check the other direction hoping that Sophia will be around here somewhere after having heard the church bells.

“Yeah.”  Shane said as he put his hand on Carl’s shoulder, leading him to the stairs of the church where they sat, while I went inside and stood before the cross of Jesus.

“I don’t know if you’re looking at me with what?”  I sighed as I tilted my head as I continued.

“Sadness?”

“Scorn?”

“Pity?”

 _“Love_?”  I sighed again.

“Maybe it’s just indifference.”  I reached up then and took off my hat as I looked at the ground.

“I guess you already know I’m not much of a believer.  I guess I just chose to put my faith elsewhere.  My family, mostly.  My friends…my job.”  I rubbed my eyes as I put my foot on the stool where most would kneel at this point.  I placed my hand on it as I leaned in then went on.

“The thing is, we—I could use a little something to help keep us going.  Some kind of…acknowledgement.”  I looked back up at Him.  “Some indication I’m doing the right thing.  You don’t know how hard that is to know.”  I shook my head in despair at His silence.

“Well, maybe you do.”  I put my hat back on and started walking away.  But I turned and went back to Him.  “Hey look, I don’t need all the answers.  Just a little nudge, a sign.”  There was frustration in my voice.  “Any sign will do.”  I waited a few seconds.

I walked out to the steps where Shane and Carl were sitting quietly, waiting for me.  Carl looked up at me as I came down the stairs.  I ruffled his hair as Shane asked.  “Get what you needed?”

“Guess I’ll find out.”  I started towards the other side of the woods.  Shane got up with Carl, grabbing his shot gun and pack.

“Come on.”  He told Carl as they followed behind.

It was silent for a while as we walked, neither Shane or myself said a word, Carl followed our leading.  So when some branches snapped I halted them with a raised hand.  Shane grabbed Carl’s arm to keep him close should the need to run arose.  There was some more rustling, I pointed to a direction ahead of us on the left, I started moving slowly hands on my pistol, Shane had Carl stay back some as he walked next to me.

Through the trees I saw a brown deer, male as far as I could tell ‘cause of the antlers.  Shane lowered his gun as the deer came out from behind the tress and bush’s, he was beautiful, a light brown color, the sun glinted off of his coat.

He shook himself as his ears perked up listening for anything that would signal a threat.  He licked his lips as Shane aimed his gun at him.

“Shane.”  I called softly; Shane looked at me, then at Carl who had never seen a deer, a live one that is up close.  Shane lowered his gun as Carl walked up closer to the buck.  He had this grin on his face; the buck didn’t pay any mind to us as he bent his head to the ground and started eating the grass in the clearing.

Carl looked back at me and Shane, we both nodded for him to go ahead.  Deer’s aren’t dangerous animals, but we kept back and our weapons down, not wanting to make the deer feel threatened.  There was a sudden snap the buck’s head came up and jerked around looking for the possible threat, his ears twitched as he looked at my son, he didn’t run or make any movement besides the small ear twitch as Carl got closer to him.  It was wonderful, for my son to finally get to see some true beauty in this world, unfortunately it didn’t last long.

A gunshot filled the silence as both the stag and my boy fell to the ground.  It felt like slow motion by the shock at seeing Carl fall and the realization that he’d just been shot.  I screamed. “No, no, no, no, NO!”  I ran to him Shane right by me as I fell to my knees next to my son.  I got a sense of déjà vu as I placed my hand on his chest while Shane aimed his gun and looked for the one that had shot my son.

This couldn’t be happening is what my mind continued to chant over and over again as the man with the riffle came into view.  “Oh God, what did I do.”  Was his shocked whisper, but I couldn’t pay attention to their conversation as I placed my hand on Carl’s lower right abdomen where the bullet entered.

“Rick, this guy says there’s a doctor on a farm not far from here.”  I looked at him; then picked up my son.

“Take me.”  I ordered the guy who had a riffle in his hands.

He turned and led us out of the woods into a grassy field as I ran ahead holding Carl close.  At some point during getting shot and being picked up he’d lost consciousness, so he was dead weight in my arms as I ran.  It wasn’t hard to hold on to him, I just wished I could run as fast as Glenn.  Shane was close behind shot gun in hand.  I wasn’t wasting any time as I sprinted as fast as my legs would carry me, that’s what made me tired, holding my son was nothing, the running was shear exhausting.

“Hey, you move shithead.”  Shane yelled at the man, he was overweight and had fallen behind. “Come get us there.”  Shane ordered as he pulled the man along.

I turned to him.  “How far?  How Far?!”  I asked, screamed at him, I was pissed at him and terrified I was going to lose my son.

He threw his arm out and pointed as he told us.  “Another half mile that way.”  I turned and ran as he continued to scream at me.  “Hershel.  Talk to Hershel he’ll help your boy.” 

I looked back only once to see Shane pull the man off the ground with ease and tell him.  “Let’s go.  Come on!”  The man had been apologizing the whole way he continued to do so as Shane got him moving again.

I didn’t look back again as I kept begging whoever was listening not to let my boy die.  I was trying to hold it together, but the tears wouldn’t obey as fear gripped my heart and I gritted my teeth as I panted and ran trying not to lose it.  I had to get my son to Hershel, he’ll save him; I just have to get him there.  That’s all.

I slowed as I finally saw the farm house, which meant I was that much closer to saving my son’s life.  I shifted Carl in a better hold and used the last ounce of super-strength I had in my legs to run the rest of the way.

As I got near I heard a young woman scream from the porch.  “DAD!”

Their door slammed open as five people walked out, three young women, a young man who was armed with a bat, and an older man.  I raced closer to their porch and the older man asked me a very important question.  “Was he bit?”

“Shot.”  I told him as I slowed my pace to a crawl as I got closer to where they were standing.  “By your man.”

One of the young women asked.  “Otis?”  The older man ran down the porch to me and my boy.

“He said find Hershel is that you?”  I asked as the rest followed him.  “Help me, help my boy.”  I begged fear and pain and sorrow were in my voice.

“Get him inside.”  He told me.

As they headed inside he started rolling up his sleeves and issued orders.  “Patricia, I need my full kit.”  The young woman who spoke earlier rushed off to get it.  “Maggie.”

“Yeah.”  Said the young red head.

“Painkillers, coagulates—grab everything.”

“Okay.”  Was her reply as she rushed to get what was asked.

“Clean towels, sheets, alcohol.”  He led me to a back bedroom on the first floor as he continued to tell his people what to do.  He tossed back the covers.  “In here.”  He said as he turned to me.  I laid Carl as gently as I could on the bed.

“Pillowcase.”  He ordered me.

“Is he alive?”  I asked him.

“Pillowcase, quick.”  He said again as he took off Carl’s belt and lifted his shirt.

“Is he alive?”  I asked a second time as I grabbed a pillow and started removing the case.

The three women, Patricia, Maggie and I had yet to get the third ones name had arrived with the wanted things at the end of the bed.

“Fold it, make a pad.”  He instructed of the pillowcase.  “Put pressure on the wound.”  I placed it on his abdomen and pushed down gently keeping control of how much strength I used.  Hershel turned as Patricia handed him a stethoscope, which he put in his ear and placed it on Carl’s chest.  His other hand at Carl’s neck looking for a pulse.

“I’ve got a heartbeat its faint.”  Hershel said.

“I got it, step back.”  Patricia told me.  I released the pressure and she took my place.

“Maggie, I.V.”

“We need some space.”  The red head Maggie told me, I didn’t move.

“Your name?”  Hershel asked.

“Rick.”  I said.

“Rick?”  Hershel asked.

“I’m—I’m Rick.”

“Rick we’re gonna do everything we can, okay?  You need to get us some room.”  He said as he looked at me while Patricia was holding the pillowcase to my son.  I was still hesitant.  “Now.”  I slowly backed up as Maggie started an I.V. drip.

I was against the wall when I heard Shane.  “Move!”  I looked out the window and saw him with their man Otis.  You could say I was in shock, I won’t deny that when I left that room with all them working on my son I was scared, unsure of what was going on.  My world was crashing around me and there was nothing I could do about it.  Just another failure to go on my list of short comings lately, unable to protect my son, my own flesh and blood from being shot.  Daryl had been right; we never should’ve split up.

I walked outside, the screen door squeaking, its hinges needed oil.  It slammed shut as Shane walked up to me.  I took off my hat as Otis asked.  “He’s alive?  He’s still alive?”  I didn’t answer as I rubbed the back of my hand on my forehead leaving a streak of blood.

“Hey…”  Shane said as he walked up the porch and stopped right in front of me.  He pulled his pack off and started rummaging in it as he said.  “Okay…It’s okay.”  He took out a rag and started wiping the blood off of my face.  I started to pull away but Shane explained.  “You got blood, man.”

Once my face was cleaned he placed the rag in my hands.  “Okay.”  He said as I started to wipe my blood covered hands on it.   I had tears in my eyes as I looked at Shane.  “I’ll take it from you.”  He told me as he held my hat while I kept the rag.

“Where is he?”  Shane asked before I turned to go back inside.  “Where is he?  Is he okay?”  I just knew that if I tried to speak it’d be too much for me and I’d break down and loose it, I’d just loose it.  So I didn’t speak, I led Shane and Otis to the room where Hershel was working on my son.

There was a kit open on the bed with scalpel and sutures and other things.   The I.V. bag had been set up and was dripping into my son as Hershel sat on a chair using a white cloth on his wound.  Maggie and Patricia were now the only other two in there with him.

He spoke as we stopped next to him.  “You know his blood type?”

“A-positive, same as mine.”  I told him trying to keep my voice steady.

He looked at me.  “That’s fortunate.  Don’t wander far I’m gonna need you.”  He told me.  “What happened?”  He asked Otis.

“I was tracking a buck.  Bullet went through it, went clean through.”  Otis explained.

“The deer slowed the bullet down, which certainly saved his life.  But it did not go through clean.  It broke up into pieces, if I can get the bullet fragments out…and I’m counting six.”  Otis walked passed us as Hershel explained, he stopped at Patricia.

“I never saw him, not until he was on the ground.”  Otis told her.  She hugged him sympathetically.

I looked to Shane.  “Lori doesn’t know?”

“No…”  Shane said trying to calm me down.

“My wife doesn’t know.  My wife doesn’t know.”  I repeated as Shane put his arm around my shoulders and whispered in my ear.  I started to cry then; I put my hand over my eyes and sobbed, as Shane tried to comfort me.

Shane guided me out of the room, Maggie closed the door behind us; I went to a bathroom and washed my hands and arms getting the blood off, I also unbuttoned my shirt to help me breathe a little easier.  I sat next to Shane on a bench seat in the foyer as we waited.  For the longest time the only sound between us was the ticking of a clock.  My tears had subsided and now all we could do was wait, I kept thinking of Lori and how I was going to tell her, but how do you tell a mother that her child was just shot.

I broke the silence as I asked Shane.   “Why’d I let him come with us?  I should have sent him with Lori.”  I was blaming myself; it was my fault and I knew it.

“You know, you start that, you’ll never get that monkey off your back.”  Shane told me.

“Little girl goes missing, you look for her, simple.  You said call it, head back.”

“Doesn’t matter what I said.”

“Carl got shot because I wouldn’t cut bait, it should be me in there.”

Shane chuckled at that before he replied.  “You’ve been there, partner.  Right?  And you pulled through, so will he.”

“Is that why I got out of that hospital?  Found my family for it to end here, like this?  This some kind—kind of sick joke?”  I was angry at myself at the situation it was in my voice that anger.

“Shh, shh, you stop it.  Just stop.”

“A little girl goes missing…you look for her, it’s plain and simple.”  I repeated.

The bedroom door opened just then and Maggie called me.  “Rick…”  I stood up and walked into the room.  “He needs blood.”  Maggie said just before she left.

Hershel was there working on Carl, he was crying in pain.   Hershel looked at Shane who’d followed me in.  “You, hold him down.”  Hershel told Shane.

“DAD!”  Carl cried out in pain, he was hurting.

“I got him.”  Shane told Patricia who’d been holding him.

“Almost there.”  Hershel said, as Patricia prepared my arm for the transfusion.  Carl cried out again as he dug further, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop!  You’re killing him!”  I screamed at Hershel.

“Rick, do you what him to live?”  Hershel asked.

“Dad, I brought Beth like you asked.”  Maggie said as she came back into the room with the third young woman from earlier.  “Don’t make her do this, what if it’s too much?”  Maggie asked.

“Beth, it’s your choice, help this boy or not.”  Hershel told her.  I looked at the girl as she moved to the bed to Shane.

“I can take it from here.”  She told him softly.  Shane moved out of the way for her, we weren’t sure what she was doing, as Patricia put a needle in my arm.

She put one hand on his chest and the other in his hand.  “Look at me sweetie.”  Beth asked; he turned his head to her as fresh tears of pain fell down his face.  “It’s okay, I can take your pain, you don’t need to feel it, I’m strong enough.”  Beth said softly, calmness came over Carl as his screaming came to a stop and so did his tears, the pain etched into his face dissipated, but it suddenly appeared on Beth as she groaned and Maggie grabbed her shoulders.  She didn’t let go of Carl though.

Crying filled the room again but it wasn’t Carl’s, it was Beth’s, as she held him and Maggie kept rubbing her back.  Once Patricia finished setting the needle in my arm I saw Carl close his eyes and fall asleep, he must be exhausted.  Beth did the same seconds after as the pain became too much for her.

“What happened?”  Shane asked.

“They’ve just passed out.”  Hershel explained.  Maggie lowered Beth resting her head on a pillow next to Carl, her hand laid limp on his chest.

He pulled out a piece of the bullet and looked at it.  “One down…”  He dropped the piece into the small container with a clink.  “Five to go.”  I had a feeling it was going to be a very long day for all of us.  Otis then came in and picked Beth up as Hershel put a bandage on Carl’s wound.  With Maggie’s help they left the room with Beth between them, she was just barely coming around.

I was set up with a tube in my arm, the end of the tube was placed in a glass container as my blood dripped into it, she put another tube it, which she then connected to Carl’s arm so my blood could replenish what Carl had lost.  The container was on a small table between my chair and the bed.  I wondered if my mutation was in the blood and if it would end up transferring to my son. 

After a several minutes Hershel grabbed a blood pressure cuff and his stethoscope and took Carl’s blood pressure.

“Pressure’s stable.”  Hershel said as he put the stethoscope around his neck and took the cuff off.

“Lori needs to be here.”  I told Shane who was near the window leaning against a fireplace mantle that was in the room.  “She doesn’t even know what’s going on.  I’ve got to go find her bring her back.”

“You can’t do that.”  Hershel told me as Patricia took the needle out of my arm.

“She’s his mother.  She needs to know what’s happened; her son’s lying here shot.”

“And he’s going to need more blood.”  Hershel told me then turned to Shane.  “He can’t go more than fifty feet from this bed.”  I slowly stood as Patricia finished bandaging my arm, I stumbled and she kept me from falling.

Shane walked up to me.   “Hey, hey, come on.”  Shane said as he put his hand on my arm.

“I’m all right.”  I told him as I walked passed.  “I’m all right.”  I repeated as I left the room.

“I got him.”  Shane told Hershel as he followed me out.

I opened the door and walked to a chair and sat down.  Maggie and Otis were out there waiting; Shane closed the door behind us as he informed them of Carl’s condition.  “He’s stable for now.”

I looked at Shane from where I sat as he leaned against the wall next to the door.  “Lori has to be here Shane, she has to know.”

“Okay, I get that, I’m gonna handle it.  But you’ve got to handle your end.”

“My—my end?”  I asked confused.

“Your end is being here for your son.”  Shane explained, he crouched down to eye level as he continued.  “Even if he didn’t need your blood to survive, there is no way I’d ever let you walk out that door.  Man, I’d break your legs if you tried.  I mean you know that, right?”  I looked at the floor unable to reply, he went on.  “If something happened to him and you weren’t here…If—if he slipped away while you were gone, you would never forgive yourself for that.  And neither would Lori, man.”

After he finished I pressed my fingers at my eyes willing myself not to cry again, I looked at him and said.  “Your right.”

“When was I ever wrong?”  Shane laughed a little, I tried to smile but the tears came and I couldn’t.

“You know, when—when you were in that hospital, the one you were never supposed to leave, man, you should have seen Lori.”  Shane said, he moved next to me as the tears fell, he continued.  “She was like…the strength of that woman…you can’t imagine it.”  He placed his hand on my shoulder.  “See—see that’s what you’ve got to have now, not the physical strength ‘cause you have that, but the emotional.  I mean, Carl—he needs that from you.  So you wire yourself tight, my friend.  You hear?”

He put his hands on my head as I leaned my forehead against his.  I put my hand on his head as he continued.  “You’ve got the hard part, just leave the rest to me, okay?”

“All right.”

“All right.”  The door opened then and Hershel came out, all four of us stood up.

“He’s out of danger for the moment.  But I need to remove those remaining fragments.”

“How?  You saw how he was, Beth’s still sleeping.”  I said.

“I know, and that was the shallowest one.  I need to go deeper to get the others.”

“Oh man.”  Shane said.

“There’s more.”

“Tell me.”  I needed to know.

“His belly is distended his pressure is dropping, which means there’s internal bleeding.  A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels.”  Hershel took a deep breath before he continued.  “I have to open him up, find the bleeder and stitch it.  And he can’t move while I’m in there—I mean, at all.  If he reacts the same as before, I’ll sever an artery and he’ll be dead in minutes.  To even try this, I have to put him under.  But if I do, he won’t be able to breathe on his own.  Same bad results.”

“What’ll it take?”  I asked him.

“You need a respirator.”  Otis told us.  “What else?”  He asked Hershel.

“The tube that goes with it, extra surgical supplies, drapes, sutures.”

“If you had all that you could save him?”  I asked.

“If I had all that I could try.”

“Nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago.”  Otis said, and then something came to his mind.  “The high school.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”  Hershel said then explained.  “They set up a FEMA shelter there.  They would have everything we need.”

“Place was overrun last time I saw it.  You couldn’t get near it, maybe it’s better now.”  Otis said.

“I said, leave the rest to me.  Is it too late to take that back?”  Shane joked.

“I hate you going alone.”  I told him seriously.

“Come on.  Doc, why don’t you do me a list and draw me a map?”  Shane requested.

“You won’t need a map, I’ll take you there.  Ain’t but five miles.”  Otis told him.

“Otis, no.”  Patricia said as she’d joined our talk from the entrance to the bedroom where Carl was resting.

“Honey, we don’t have time for guesswork and I’m responsible.  I ain’t gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone.”  He said pointing to Shane.  “I’ll be all right.”  He told her.

“Are you sure about this?”  Shane asked.

“Do you even know what any of the stuff he’s talking about looks like?”  Otis asked.

“Come to think, no.”

“I’ve been a volunteer E.M.T. I do.  We can talk about this till next Sunday or we could just go do it right quick.”

“I’ll take right quick.”

“I should thank you.”  I told Otis.

“Wait till that boy of yours is up and around.  Then we’ll talk, I’ll gather some things.”  Otis finished then walked off to get his stuff.

Maggie walked up to me then.  “Where is she, your wife?”  I told her to go the church, she knew where I was talking about and explained which side of the creek to follow and she should find them along somewhere up there, unless they went back to the highway, which I also explained, about the traffic jam.

“I’ll find her and bring her back.”  She promised, then left, I watched her go to a stable and ride off on a horse shortly before Otis got back with his pack and riffle.  We followed him out to a blue pickup.

I put my hand on Shane’s arm as I told him.  “Just get what you need, and get out of there.”

“You stay strong, all right?”  Shane asked.

Otis hugged Patricia telling her he’ll be okay.  I walked up to him and held out my pistil handle first for him to take.  He looked at it, then Hershel, then me as he said.  “That’s a fine weapon, Rick.  I’ll bring it back in good shape.”  He took it placing it in his pack at the back of the pickup as Shane tapped the truck.

Otis grabbed his riffle and walked to the driver’s side as Shane got in, then he placed the riffle between him before he closed the door and started the engine up.  I watched them outside as Shane looked at the riffle the very gun that had caused this mess in the first place.

“Only one I got.”  Otis explained.

“Man, this turned into one strange day.”  Shane said as Otis put it into gear.

“Didn’t it though?” Otis said as they pulled out onto the dirt road and off into the distance.  Patricia shook her head as she headed back inside leaving me and Hershel out there to watch them disappear.

Hershel put his hand on my good arm a couple of minutes later as he said.  “Let’s check on your boy.”  I followed him back inside.

After a while I walked outside, along the porch and stopped as I looked out at the acres and the coming sunset.  Hershel joined me a few seconds later, as he stood next to me I spoke.  “This place is beautiful.”

“Been in my family a hundred and sixty years.”

“I can’t believe how serene it is.”  I looked at him as I continued.  “How untouched, you’re lucky”

“We weren’t completely unscathed.”  He looked out at the pastures before going on.  “We lost friends, neighbors.  The epidemic took my wife, my stepson.”

All I could say to that was.  “I’m sorry.”

“My daughters were spared.  I’m grateful to God for that.  These people here, all we’ve got left is each other, just hoping we can ride it out in peace till there’s a cure.”

I faced him then to explain things.  “We were at the C.D.C. it’s—it’s gone now.  There is no cure.”

“I don’t believe it.  When AIDS came along everyone panicked.  One boy in town came down with it and some parents pulled their children from school so they didn’t have to sit in the same room.”

“This is a whole other thing.”

“That’s what we always say—‘this one’s different’”

“Well, this one is.”

He smiled at me as he explained his way of thinking on this matter.  “Mankind’s been fighting plagues from the start, we get our behinds kicked for a while then we bounce back.  It’s nature correcting herself, restoring some balance.”

“I wish I could believe that.”  I looked back at the pasture and sunset, that’s when I saw a horse galloping in the distance.  The closer they go the easier I could see it was Maggie and Lori.  I rushed off the porch as Maggie slowed the horse to a trot.

Lori got off the horse, she didn’t say a word, neither did I, she did break down and cry as I hugged her.  I needed to hold her to feel her, to know that I wasn’t alone in this anymore.  We reluctantly let go as she begged to see Carl.  I kept my arm around her as I lead her to the house.

As we stopped in the door way to where Carl was laying, she was shocked and scared, it was written all over her face.  “I’m sorry.”  I told her as I held her close and kissed her head.

She pushed away from me and got on the bed next to our sleeping son, she put her hands on his head.  “He’s not in any pain.”  I told her.

“Painkillers?”  She asked.

“No, one of the girls here Beth, took his pain from him.”  She looked at me in disbelief.  “A mutation.”  I told her, she nodded her head then laid next to Carl placing her hand on his chest where Beth’s had been a few hours ago.

“My boy.  My baby boy, baby boy.”  She whispered as her tears fell.  “It’s okay.  Mama’s here, mama’s here.”  Lori repeated as I walked up to her not interrupting, just watching.

“You’re gonna be okay.  You’re gonna be okay.”  She swallowed hard.  “We’re gonna make you okay.”  She reached back then and I took her hand in mine.  I placed my other hand on her leg as I knelt down, I grasped her hand in both mine as I came to rest next to her, as she laid there with Carl crying.

After our tears stopped and Patricia had come back setting up another transfusion that gave me the time to fill Lori in on all that had happened.  When I was done explaining things, Patricia was taking the needle out.  I went to stand but groaned as the whole world flipped.  Lori grabbed my arm.

“Slow, slow.”  Lori told me, she was sitting at the end of the bed her other hand on Carl’s leg.  I sat back down.

“How many transfusions?”  Lori asked.

“Two.  Only two.”  I told her.

“He wanted to do the same for you when you were in the hospital.  I had to talk him out of it.”  Lori informed me, that made me happy and proud.  Carl was such a good kid, who loved his family.

A few minutes later Lori helped me up and out of the room, we walked through the foyer and passed the stairs into the dining room next to the kitchen, Hershel handed me a glass of orange juice.  “Thank you.”  I said as I took a sip.

As I drank Lori put her hands on one of the dining chairs and said.  “Okay, so I understand, when Shane gets back with this other man—”

“Otis.”  Hershel informed her.

“Otis. The idiot who shot my son.”  Lori said rather childishly, though I could see where she was coming from I had been rather angry with him at first as well.

“Ma’am, it was an accident.”  Hershel told her.

“I’ll take that under advisement later.  For now he’s the idiot who shot our son.”

I placed my hand over one of hers.  “Lori, they’re doing everything they can to make it right.”

“Okay, why can’t you do it now, using that woman—”

“Beth.”  I told her.

“Beth, why can’t she take his pain away again?”  Lori asked.

“She passed out the first time ma’am I don’t want to subject her to that much pain and for such an extended period of time, it could kill her.”  Hershel explained.

“Right, so as soon as they get back you can perform this surgery?

“I’ll certainly do my best.”

“Okay.  I mean you’ve done this procedure before?”

“Well, yes, in a sense.”

“In a sense?”

“Honey, we don’t have the luxury of shopping for a surgeon.”  I told her.

“No, I understand that.  But I mean you’re a doctor, right?”  Lori asked as she put her other hand on top of the one I had on hers.

“Yes, ma’am of course.  A vet.”

“A veteran?  A combat medic?”

“A veterinarian.”  We were both shocked at that, she looked at me, then back at Hershel.

“And you’ve done this surgery before on what?  Cows?  Pigs?”

I was surprised, shocked, dizzy.  I pulled out a chair.  “I—I have to sit.”  I almost fell out of the chair if Lori hadn’t grabbed me in time.  I did knock over the glass with what orange juice I hadn’t drunk, which spilt all over the lining on the dining room table.  Lori straightened me out so I wouldn’t tip over again.

She stood back up once I was situated and spoke to Hershel.  “Completely in over your head, aren’t you?”

“Ma’am, aren’t we all?”

“Pressure’s dropping again.  We can’t wait much longer.”  Hershel informed us after taking Carl’s blood pressure again, it was now dark and Shane and Otis had yet to come back.

“Take some more whatever he needs.”  I told him as I started to roll up my sleeve; I’d already taken off my sheriff deputy’s shirt leaving me in my light brown undershirt.  “Then I’m gonna go.”

“Go?  Go where?”  Lori asked from where she was leaning next to the window.

I looked at her as I explained.  “He said five miles; they should be long back by now.  Something’s gone wrong.”

“Are you insane?  You’re not going after them.”  Lori told me.

“Rick, listen to your wife.”  Hershel told me.

I glanced at him.  “If they got into trouble—”

“You’re in no condition to do anything about it.  You’ve given too much blood; you’re barely on your feet.  You wouldn’t make it across the yard.”  Hershel said.

“If something happened, I have to go.”  I told Lori again.

“No, your place is here.  If Shane said he’ll be back, he’ll be back.  He’s like you that way.”

I got in her face as I said.  “I can’t just sit here.”

She snapped at me then.  “That’s exactly what you do.  If you need to pray or cry or tell God he’s cruel, you go right ahead, but you’re not leaving, Rick.  Carl needs you—here.”  Her voice softened as I was silent.  “And I can’t do this by myself.  Not this one.”  She closed her eyes and shook her head.  “I can’t.”  She looked at Carl.  “I can’t.”  She looked back at me.

I realized she was right; she couldn’t do this on her own, not this time not then.  Hershel was right too I didn’t have the strength to make it to the front door, I was so weak.  The weakest I’d been since I woke to this nightmare, so I stayed, sat down in case they needed more blood.  There was nothing more any of us could do, but wait.


	3. Save the Last One

Save the Last One

Rick's POV

 

“Rick just…You’ve got to keep your strength up.”  Lori told me, as I sat in a chair next to the bed Carl was lying in.

“Lori, did you…I mean, it was legendary.  Did you ever hear about the time Shane stole Kingsley’s car?”  I asked.

“Yeah.”  She’d heard it before, and she was about to hear it again.

“The principal’s car right out of the teacher’s lot in the middle of a school day.  Shane steps out of lunch and makes a beeline to Kingsley’s Hyundai...”  I chuckled as I remembered that day before I continued.

“Wires the ignition, peels out, drives down Dylan drive to that chicken farm out there.  You’ve heard this before, right?  So he pulls it into one of the big holding pens.  Kingsley he waxed that thing every month, had the auto shop vacuum it out every week.  Shane, he parks it in this huge pen with a couple of hundred Rhode Island Reds.  He busts open bags of seed in the back seat, rolls down all the windows, and then starts sprinting back to school.  Its three miles away easy.  He’s back in time to finish his sandwich before the bell.  And then the bell rings.  Shane gets up and when he runs into Kinsley in the hallway he looks out the window and says, ‘Principal Kingsley, your Coupe’s gone.’”  I chuckled some more.  Lori was sitting on the bed next to Carl holding his hand; it’d been a while now since she blew up at me. 

Hershel had come in a little while ago with a sandwich and glass of milk for me, told me I needed to eat to keep up my strength, but I had yet to touch it.  “Coupe, like chicken coop.”  I explained.

“I get it.”  She told me.

“Of course you do.  You’ve heard this story a thousand times.  What you said before, you’re right.  Shane’s gonna make it back with what the doctor needs.  He’ll make it back.”

“Hershel said you need to eat.”  Lori reminded him.

“Carl’s gonna be all right.”  I told her.

She looked at me then as she begged.  “Please, for me.  You’ve got to keep your strength up.”  I leaned back in the chair and reached for the plate on the nightstand.  I ate as she sat there, holding Carl’s hand between hers.

Hershel was just finishing taking Carl’s blood pressure a little while after I finished eating when T-Dog and Glenn arrived.  Patricia was sitting in a chair near the window as Lori and I sat next to Carl.  I looked up as Glenn took off his hat, scratched his head and said.  “Hey.”

“Hey.”  I said back.  Hershel stood up as he looked at them, I noticed T-Dog wrapped in a blanket next to Glenn as they stood there, Maggie was leaning against the door jam.

“Um, we’re here, okay?”  Glenn said.

“Thank you.”  Lori replied for me as I looked back at Carl who was still sound asleep.

“Whatever you need.”  T-Dog told us, Maggie then led them away, probably to get something to eat.

Hershel turned down the sheet uncovering Carl’s wound; his belly was distended, indicating the internal damage.  “They don’t get back soon, we’re gonna have a decision to make.”  Hershel said.

“And that is?”  I asked.

“Whether to operate on your boy without the respirator.”

“You said that wouldn’t work.”  Lori reminded him.

“I _know_.  It’s extremely unlikely, but we can’t wait much longer.”

Lori stood up and walked out, I followed slowly as Hershel covered Carl back up, and he sat down on the bed next to Carl as I left the room.

I walked out the screen door onto the porch where Lori was standing to the left staring out into the pitch black darkness our world had become.  She was hugging herself as I walked up to her, she spoke up.  “Maybe this isn’t a world for children anymore.”

“Yeah well, we have a child.”  Her comment made me think of Carl, as well as Daryl and Glenn’s unborn child, I continued.  “Carl is here in this world now.”

“Maybe he shouldn’t be.  Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be.”  Lori glanced at me.

“You can’t mean that.”  She looked at me fully then, there was this look, that she was dead serious.  “Okay, all right.  I can understand that thought crossing your mind.”

She shook her head as she explained.  “It didn’t cross my mind, Rick.  I can’t stop thinking it.  Why do we want Carl to live in this world?  To have this life?  So he can see more people torn apart in front of him?  So that he can be hungry and scared for however long he has before he…So he can run and run and run and run and then even if he survives he ends up—he ends up just another animal who doesn’t know anything except survival?  If he—if he dies tonight, it ends for him.”  I turned away from her as she put her hand to her mouth.

“Tell me why it would be better another way?”  She asked to my back.

“What changed?”  I asked as I faced her.

“What?”

“Jenner offered us a way out.  You asked him to let us keep trying, you begged him.  ‘For as long as we can’ you said.  What changed?”  I reminded her.

“There was a moment the other day—it was just a second but I forgot Jacqui was dead.  I turned around; I wanted to tell her something.  I almost said her name, it was just a second and then I remembered.  But then I realized she didn’t have to see any of it.”  There was nothing I could say to that, Lori continued.  “The highway, the herds, Sophia, Carl getting shot—she didn’t…She doesn’t have to be afraid anymore.”

“Hungry.”

“Angry.”

“It hasn’t stopped happening, Rick.  It’s like we live with a knife at our throats every second of every day.  But Jacqui doesn’t, not anymore.”  I put my hand to my head as I rubbed my nose, she got to the point.  “And then…I thought, ‘maybe Jenner was right.’”  That was it, that’s what had changed, that one thought.

I turned away for a second then faced her as I stated.  “I don’t accept that.  I can’t accept that.  That man surrendered, it doesn’t matt—it doesn’t matter what he said.  None of it.”  I told her, I kept thinking of his last words, and a part of me didn’t want to believe it, I couldn’t believe it, I _wouldn’t_ believe it, and maybe that was the biggest mistake I made.

I looked at her as I asked.  “You really think it would be better if Carl—” I didn’t finish that sentence, the look in her eyes.  “If we just gave up?”

“Tell me why it would be better the other way.”  She said.   “Please.”  She begged.  I didn’t have an answer for her.  I couldn’t say why, just, all my gut instincts told me that dying wasn’t the answer.  And just maybe that’s ‘cause it was how I was raised, how I was taught, to survive and live and fight for another day of life.  That’s why I became a cop, but right now I didn’t have the answers she so desperately needed, so I gave her nothing.

I walked back into the house with Lori, we sat outside the bedroom; I had my elbow on a bench seat while she sat against the wall in the little nook that led to the bedroom right next to me.   We were at the other door, not wanting to be seen.  For a while it was quite, and then Carl started coughing.

Lori and I stood up and ran to him, she knelt next to the bed putting her hand on his forehead as he looked around the room; I leaned next to Lori as I put my hand on his leg as he asked.  “Where are we?”

“Hey, little man.  That’s Hershel.”  I told him as Hershel stood on the other side of the bed.  “We’re in his house.”  Lori was smiling as she looked up at me, then back at Carl as I continued to explain while she stroked his forehead.  “You had an accident.  All right?”

“It hurts, a lot.”  Carl said pain in his voice as he was panting.

“Oh baby, I know, I know.”   Lori said gently.  I glanced at Hershel who shook his head.  Beth was still upstairs, resting.

“You should have seen it.”  Carl said looking at his mom.

“What?”  She asked.

“The deer.  It was so _pretty_ , mom.  It was so close.  I’ve never been…”  Carl stopped mid-sentence, just froze as his eyes looked off.

“Carl?”  I asked.

“What is happening?”  Lori asked in alarm.

Suddenly Carl starting to spasm his arms and legs jumping of their own accord as he was grunting.  I moved to hold him down.

“Don’t, it’s a seizure.”  Hershel said.  “If you hold him down, you could hurt him.”  Hershel explained.

“You can’t stop it?”  Lori asked.

“He has to just go through it.”  There was nothing we could do as I held Lori while Carl turned on his side and continued to flop around like a fish out of water.  Lori started crying as we watched our son, feeling so helpless in this situation.  And for a few minutes it felt endless when he finally came to rest, his eyes closed as he laid so still.

Hershel grabbed Carl’s arm and laid it on the pillow as Carl’s breathing calmed.  I let Lori go as she knelt back at his side.  Hershel examined him then explained.  “His brain isn’t getting enough blood.  His pressure is bottoming, he needs another transfusion.”

“Okay, I’m ready.”  I told him.

“If I take any more out of you your body could shut down, you could go into a coma.  Or _cardiac arrest._ ”

“You’re wasting time.”  I told him.

I didn’t care what happened to me as long as my son got the blood he needed.  Hershel grabbed the jar and tubes as I sat down, he started setting the transfusion up as Lori rubbed the back of my neck, using her free hand to grab Carl’s.

After my blood had been transferred to the bottle Hershel hooked up the tube to Carl before he left us.  Lori moved as she knelt at my feet with her arm resting on my leg, her chin resting on her arm and she just sat there.  I started to explain what Carl had been talking about when he’d woken up for that brief amount of time.

“Before it happened we were standing there in the woods and this deer just crossed right in front of us.  I swear it just planted itself there and looked Carl right in the eye.  And I looked at Carl looking at that deer, and that deer looking right back at Carl.”  Our eyes met then as I continued.  “And that moment just…”  I sighed as I shifted my gaze to Carl then back to her.  “Slipped away.  It slipped away.”

She didn’t speak as I rested my head back against the chair and looked at the ceiling.   “That’s what he was talking about when he woke up, not about getting shot or what happened at the church.”  I met her eyes once again as I continued.  “He talked about something beautiful, something living.”  She closed her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks.

“There’s still a life for us, a place maybe like this.  It isn’t all death out there.  It can’t be.  We just have to be strong enough after everything we’ve seen to still believe that.”  I finally had the answer she needed earlier, on that porch when she thought Jenner was right.  “Why is it better for Carl to live even in this world?  He talked about the deer, Lori.  _He talked about the deer._ ”  She went back to resting her head on my leg.

It was a while later, maybe an hour when Hershel came back in and checked his pulse.  “He’s still losing blood faster than we can replace it.  And with the swelling in his abdomen we can’t wait any longer or he’s just going to slip away.”  Hershel explained.

I stood up slowly next to Lori as Hershel said.  “Now I need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time.”  I looked at the ground.  “You have to make a choice.”  Hershel told us.

“A choice?”  Lori asked.

I turned to her.  “A choice.  You have to tell me what it is.  You have to tell me what it is.”  I asked needing to know if she wanted our son to live or die.

She placed her hand on my cheek, and then looked at Carl as she said.  “We do it.”  I hugged her, I was so happy and proud that she made the right call, in my opinion it was the right decision to make.

Hershel left the room to get Patricia and together they rolled a metal examining table that was the right height and length for Carl.

“Okay, get the corner of that bed.”  Hershel ordered as he pulled the covers over Carl off the bed.  “Let’s get the sheets down.  Get the I.V back on the sheet.”  I unhooked it from the headboard and set it on the sheet next to Carl.  I lifted Carl’s head and removed the pillow laying him gently down on the bed.

“Okay, on three.”  Hershel said as he grabbed the top sheet on his side, I grabbed the other side.  “One, two, three.”  Hershel and I had his head, while Patricia and Lori had his legs; all together we lifted and moved him to the metal table.

Once he was down Patricia grabbed a metal container that had a towel over it, which Hershel removed, revealing his surgical tools and gloves, which he started to put on while Patricia ran out and grabbed a lamp which she set up to give Hershel more light to work with.  She took off the shade and pulled the cords, there were two bulbs one on each side, she lit them both.

Lori and I stood off to the side, she wrapped her arms around me, and I wrapped my arm around her.  “Rick, Lori, you may want to step out.”  Hershel suggested as he picked up a scalpel and was about to cut open my son.  But before he got the chance to make the first cut there was the sound of a truck approaching.

I walked to the window and moved the curtain, and sure enough there was Shane driving up in that pickup truck.  It was the best sight I’d ever seen.  “Oh God.”  I said before rushing outside, followed by Lori.

“You stay here with him.”  Hershel told Patricia as he went with us.  Glenn, T-Dog and Maggie were right behind us as we exited the house while Shane got out of the truck.  He had two bags on his back and was panting like he’d just run the biggest marathon in the world.

“Carl?”  He asked out of breath as he limped to meet up with us.

“There’s still a chance.”  I told him.  He handed one pack to Hershel and the other to Glenn who gladly took it from him.

“Otis?”  Hershel asked, I’d noticed that Shane was alone I just figured something bad happened.

“No.”  Shane said as he was getting his breathing under control.

“We say nothing to Patricia.”  Hershel said as he looked between us all.  “Not till after, I need her.”  Hershel headed back followed by Glenn as they took the supplies inside for Carl’s surgery.

I walked up to Shane and put my hand at the back of his neck as I brought him in for a hug.  He hugged back, I was glad to see he made it back safe and sound and that he brought what we needed to save Carl’s life.  Shane started to explain what had happened once we let each other go.

“They kept blocking us at every turn.  We had nothing left; we were down to ten rounds.  Then he said—he said he’d cover me and that I should keep going.  So that’s what I did, I just…I kept going.  But I—I looked back and he—I tried.”  Shane said.  Lori put her hand on Maggie’s back as her eyes got wet.  I didn’t know how close they were to Otis, but losing a friend is hard on anyone no matter what, at least he died a hero.

I put my hand on Shane’s shoulder as I leaned in.  “He wanted to make it right.”   Shane looked passed me to Maggie who started crying.  Even Lori looked sad at this news; Shane looked back at me.  Maggie headed back into the house, T-Dog sat in a rocking chair, Shane against the truck, Lori and I sat on the porch steps as we all waited.

For a good long while we waited.  Hoping, praying that Shane arrived in time and that our son would be fine.  As Hershel exited the house Lori and I stood up, T-Dog and Shane from where they’d been sitting stood to hear the verdict as well.  And Maggie and Glenn had followed Hershel outside.

“He seems to have stabilized.”  Hershel told us.

I sighed in relief as I held Lori’s hand.  “Oh God.”  I looked at Hershel and hugged him.

“I don’t have words.”  Lori cried out with joy.

“I don’t either, wish I did.  How do I tell Patricia about Otis?”  Hershel asked.

I looked at Lori and said.  “You go to Carl.”  She nodded, I looked at Hershel. “I’ll go with Hershel.”  There was no reason why he had to face this tragedy on his own.  We all started to file into the house.

Hershel led the way to Patricia in the kitchen.  “Patricia we have some bad news.”  Hershel began.  He looked to me; this wasn’t the first time I’d had to tell someone a loved one had died.  All the years as a sheriff’s deputy has taught me that it never gets easier.

“Patricia, Otis didn’t make it, he gave his life for Shane and my boy.”  I explained as gently as I could.  She sobbed out as her knees collapsed; Hershel and I kept her from hitting the ground as her grief consumed her.

She leaned on the island in the kitchen as she sobbed her heart out.  Hershel kept his hand on her back trying to comfort her, I stood by incase she passed out.  Grief can do a number of things to a person.  I felt sorry for her, I was just glad that my boy lived thanks to Otis’s sacrifice, if only I’d known the truth.  I doubt I could’ve done anything, but I sure as hell wouldn’t have trusted Shane for as long as I did.  It was one of those regrets we have, that at the time I had been so blind not see that something was terribly wrong with my best friend.

But all I could think about was the safety of the group, and my own failures at being unable to stop all the horrible things that had happened to all of us, including the death of Otis.


	4. Cherokee Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: See first chapter.
> 
> POV: Glenn

Cherokee Rose

Glenn's POV

 

Next morning several of us got up and started to work, gathering rocks for the grave the family wanted to make for Otis.  The ones that were helping besides myself was, Maggie, her sister Beth, _her_ boyfriend Jimmy, T-Dog and Shane.  Who was limping from hurting his ankle last night so he wasn’t moving as quickly has he could’ve been, and the clothes he’d been given didn’t do much for him, they were a tad too big and made him look awkward to say the least, didn’t help that’d he’d shaved his head last night, I had no idea why, Rick asked him but all he said was.  “I felt like a change.”  That was fine I guess.

We were throwing the rocks into a will burrow when the sound of a motorcycle approaching interrupted the silence.  We stopped our work as we looked and saw Daryl leading a caravan of Carol’s car and Dale’s R.V. brought up the rear.  I was relieved when I saw them getting closer.  I’d been worried since T-Dog and I left yesterday, and last night I barely slept a wink, the need to be near Daryl and hold him, just hold him was so strong.

We walked back to the house as T-Dog headed inside to tell Rick and them.  As they drove up and parked T-Dog came back out with Rick and Lori, Hershel was behind them and Patricia stayed on the porch as they walked down to greet the rest of our group.

Daryl turned off his engine and stood up; he put the kick stand down so his bike wouldn’t fall. Once he’d finished and swung his leg over I walked up to him, I wasn’t sure if he wanted any displays of affection while the new survivors where around to witness it.

But Daryl took that thought out of my hand as I noticed him glance at Maggie who was watching us.  Than Daryl put his arm around me in an intimate hug; it was unusual for Daryl to make the first move like that.  It felt a little on the possessive side and I guess I never realized until then that Daryl had a real jealous possessive streak.  It kind of felt good.

We separated and I backed off some as Dale, Carol and Andrea joined us.  “How is he?”  Dale asked speaking of Carl.

“He’ll pull through, thanks to Hershel and his people.”  Lori informed them, as Patricia came down to stand next to Hershel.

“And Shane.”  Rick added.  “We’d have lost Carl if not for him.”  Dale walked forward then and embraced Rick in a comforting hug.

“Thank God.”  Carol said as she hugged Lori.  “We were so worried.”  Carol told her as Andrea hugged T-Dog.

“How’d it happen?”  Dale asked Rick.

“Hunting accident.  That’s all—just a stupid accident.”  Rick went on to explain the death of Otis who’d risked his life for Carl’s.

Carol, Dale and Daryl helped gather the rest of the rocks we needed and together we went to a spot under one of the trees where we laid the rocks upon each other to signify Otis’s grave.  Hershel had grabbed his bible from the house and started to speak as Beth placed one of the rocks on the pillar, before going back to her spot

From Hershel clockwise there was Maggie, Patricia, Jimmy, Beth, Andrea, Carol, Lori, Rick, Shane, Dale, me and Daryl.  “Blessed be God, father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  As Hershel continued to speak Jimmy walked forward took one of the rocks and placed it with the others before going back to their friends.  “Praise be to Him for the gift of our brother Otis, for his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child’s, now more than ever, our most precious asset.”  We were all sad, as Hershel continued to speak, it was clear that Rick owed a debt to this man he’d never be able to pay.

“We thank you, God, for the peace he enjoys in your embrace.  He died as he lived, in grace.  Shane, will you speak for Otis?”  I wasn’t sure about the look that crossed Shane’s face, but it was a look I’d seen a lot growing up, a look that my next door neighbor had, guilt.  My neighbor had been in the army and he told me once that he felt guilty for all the men he’d had to kill during his tour, for all the family’s that had to lose someone at his own hands.  It was the very look that Shane had on his face that day, it could’ve been survivor’s guilt, I don’t really know, but it made me ill as I realized that I needed to throw up again.

“I’m not good at it.”  Shane said as he bowed his head with a shake.  “I’m sorry.”

“You were the last one with him.”  Patricia said tears in her voice.  “You shared his final moments.  Please, I need to hear, I need to know his death had meaning.”

Shane hesitated as he looked at her with those pleading eyes as she waited.  “Okay.  We were about done.  Almost out of ammo, we were down to pistols by then.  I was limping; it was bad, ankle all swollen up.  “We’ve got to save the boy.”  See, that’s what he said.  He gave me his backpack, he shoved me ahead.  “Run,” he said.  He said, “I’ll take the rear, I’ll cover you.”  And when I looked back…”

Shane limped forward to the grave, as he continued.  “If not for Otis, I’d have never made it out alive.”  He bent into the will burrow, grabbed one of the rocks.  “And that goes for Carl too.  It was Otis.  He saved us both.”  Shane looked at them, at us.  “If any death ever had meaning, it was his.”  He placed his rock with the others.

As most of us started to work on putting up the tents and make camp Rick talked to Hershel about Sophia and if he’d have a map of the area.  Maggie went to the house to find one while the rest gathered around Carol’s Cherokee.  There was Daryl, Shane, Andrea, Rick and Hershel.  I was off to the side watching.

“How long has this girl been lost?”  Hershel asked.

“This’ll be day three.”  Rick informed him.

“County survey map.”  Maggie said as she got back and placed the map on the hood of the car.  “Show’s terrain and elevations.”  Maggie informed them.  She placed small rocks on the edges to keep the map flat.

“This is perfect; we can finally get this thing organized.”  Rick said.  “We’ll grid the whole area start searching in teams.”

“Not you, not today.  You gave three units of blood.  You wouldn’t be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out.”  Hershel told Rick, and then turned to Shane.  “And your ankle—push it now, you’ll be laid up a month, no good to anybody.”

“Guess it’s just me.”  Daryl said.  “I’m gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there.”  Daryl said as he pointed to the map.

“I can still be useful.”  Shane said.  “I’ll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back.”

“All right, tomorrow then.  We’ll start doing this right.”  Rick said.

“That means we can’t have our people out there with just knives.  They need the gun training we’ve been promising them.”  Shane told Rick.  Carol walked by as she and I started to set up our tents.  I glanced up as I heard Hershel.

“I’d prefer you not carrying guns on my property.  We’ve managed so far without turning this into an armed camp.”  Dale had the sleeping bags as he walked to where the rest of our things were being placed for the time being.

“All due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here…”  Shane scoffed.

“Look, we’re guests here.  This is your property and we _will_ respect that.”  Rick said as he pulled out his pistol and laid it on the map.  Shane clearly didn’t like the idea but he followed Rick’s lead.  “First things first: set camp, find Sophia.”

“I hate to be the one to ask, but somebody’s got to.  What happens if we find her and she’s bit?”  Shane asked.  I hated hearing that.  I turned to put the tent up; I could still hear the conversation though.  “I think we should all be clear on how we handle that.”

“You do what has to be done.”  Rick answered.

“And her mother?  What do you tell her?”  Maggie asked him, upset at the idea of Rick’s suggestion.

“The truth.”  Andrea said.

“I’ll gather and secure all the weapons.  Make sure no one’s carrying till we’re at a practice range off site.  I do request one rifleman on lookout.  Dale’s got experience.”  Shane said.  I was watching them again as he looked at Hershel waiting.

“Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun.”  Rick told him, I saw Hershel nod.  “Thank you.”  Rick said.  I walked over and grabbed one side of the tent while Carol had the other and together we started to raise it.

“That stuff you brought, got more antibiotics, bandages, anything like that?”  Maggie asked as Daryl and Shane walked off.  Daryl squeezed my shoulder before he moved on to head out in search of Sophia.

“Just what you’ve seen.”  Andrea told her before walking away as well.

“We’re running short already; I should make a run into town.”  Maggie told them.

“Not the place Shane went?”  Rick asked.

“No, there’s a pharmacy just a mile down the road.”  Maggie informed him.   “I’ve done it before.”

“See our man there in the baseball cap.”  I had my back turned when I heard Rick; I crannied my to look at him for a second before continuing to help Lori and Carol get the tent standing.  “That’s Glenn, our go-to-town expert.  I’d ask him along just to be cautious.”   That was the end of their conversation.  It took only a few more minutes and we had the first tent up.

Maggie came up to me a few minutes after everyone left.  “I hear your fast on your feet and know how to get in and out.”  From the way she stated it I was a little confused, it didn’t sound like a question more a statement really.  “Got a pharmacy run you in?”  See now that was a question.

“Uh…”  I was about to say yes when Dale interrupted.

“Miss, what’s the water situation here?”

“Got five wells on our land.  House draws directly from number one.  Number-two well is right over there.”  She informed him as she pointed in the direction of number-two.  “We use it for the cattle but it’s just as pure.  Take what you need there’s a cart and containers in the generator shed behind the house.”  She turned to me then.  “I’ll go saddle your horse then.”  She walked away.

I turned to Dale and said.  “Horse?”  I’d never ridden a horse before, and right now the idea was a little scary as I placed my hand on my flat belly.  “Dale can I barrow your binoculars?”

“Sure.”  Dale went into the R.V. and came back a second later.  I took them and looked toward the house where I saw Daryl as he headed to the woods to find Sophia.  He paused for a second to speak to Rick then moved on.  He did stop and look toward me, he smirked as he waved and that made me smile as I waved back before he continued on.  I lowered my view to his backside, which was a very nice view indeed before he disappeared from sight.

I turned and saw Maggie on a horse with one next to her which she was leading by the reigns.  I gulped knowing that I’d have to ride next to her; it wasn’t that I didn’t like the idea, but that was the problem, I did.  She was an attractive girl, and I was attracted to her, of ‘course I thought of Daryl and what we have, and what we’re going to have in like eight, nine months from now; then I felt horrible for being attracted to this woman who I didn’t even know at the time.

Lori stepped in front of my binocular view of Maggie; I lowered them as she spoke.  “Hi.  Here’s your list.”  She handed me a piece of paper, which I started to unfold as she said.  “And, um, there’s two other items I wrote down separately.  One is personal, if we could be real discreet about that, okay?”  She asked as she handed me the other small piece of paper.

“Sure.”  I told her as I took a look at what was written on it.

“Thank you.”  She said before turning to leave.

“Uh, what are they?”  I asked as I stopped her mid-stride while I read what it said.

“Kind of missing the point of the whole discreet thing, Glenn.”  Lori told me.

“Uh.  Right.  Um…”  I followed her as she stopped again and looked at me.  “I just need to know where to find them.”

“Try the feminine hygiene section.”

“Oh.  Enough said.  Consider it done.”  I told her.  “Wait what about the second one?”

“Oh,  since you’ll be in that area for what I need I put some prenatal vitamins on the list for you, now that your pregnant.  It’s the first chance we’ve gotten for a pharmacy, so it just crossed my mind.”

“Thank you.”  I told her, she turned again when I realized something else.  “Lori, what are prenatal vitamins exactly?”

“Oh, they’re vitamins to help in the growth and development of your unborn child; they add vitamins to fill in the gaps in your diet.  You’re going to need them especially now, considering the diet we’ve all been having.”  I nodded in understanding as I pocketed the lists.

It was a few minutes after that conversation that T-Dog showed up, and informed several of us that there was a problem with the number-two well.  So Maggie, Lori, Andrea, Shane and myself followed T-Dog back to the well where Dale was waiting.

We all looked down and there was a bloated walker that had been soaking in that well for some time.  “Looks like we’ve got us a swimmer.”  Dale said as he held the flashlight on him.

“How long do you think it’s been down there?”  I asked.

“Long enough to grow gills.”  Andrea said.

“We can’t leave it in there.  God knows what it’s doing to the water.”  Lori suggested.

“We got to get it out.”  Shane informed us.

“Easy.  Put a bullet in its head.”  T-Dog suggested.

“Whoa, whoa, guys no.”  Maggie objected.

“Why not?  It’s a good plan.”  I asked.

“It’s a stupid plan.”  Andrea said.  “If that thing hasn’t contaminated the water yet, blowing it’s brains out will finish the job.”

“She’s right, can’t risk it.”  Shane agreed.

“So it has to come out alive?”  T-Dog asked.

“So to speak.”  Shane said.

“How do we do that?”  I asked as I looked up at them.  T-Dog got a couple of pieces of rope and Shane sent Maggie to the house for a canned ham of some kind.  We tied it like bait on a hook and lowered it down to grab its attention as we tried to put the noose around its neck.

“He’s not going for it.”  Dale said after a few minutes of this.

“Maybe ‘cause a canned ham don’t kick and scream when you try to eat it.”  T-Dog suggested.

“He’s right.  There’s a reason the dead didn’t come back to life and start raiding our cupboards.”  Lori said from her crouched position over the well.  I stood next to her with my arms crossed, I felt a little sick to my stomach, which at this point was nothing new.

“We need live bait.”  Andrea suggested, and then looked at me.  The rest followed her lead.

“We can’t.”  Dale said in my defense.

“He’s the fastest one here.  Besides I’m not sending one of the women and the rest of us are too slow for this job.  I’m the strongest so I’ll be at the front holding the rope he’ll be fine.”  Shane said, which started an argument between them about my health and what would Daryl think and Maggie being confused why this is was a problem and how they could even think about using someone in the first place, this went on for about ten minutes when finally I had enough.

“Stop it, it’s my life, my body and I get the last say.  I’ll do it.  I’ll take responsibility, so that’s that.”  Everyone looked at me and allowed me to do what needed to be done.  I sat on the edge of the well, with my feet on the rod in the middle, where they normally lower a bucket but which will be used to lower me instead.  Shane was tying the rope around my waist.

“Have I mentioned that I really like your new haircut?”   To say I was nervous and scared was an understatement.   “You have a nice shaped head.”  I continued as he made sure the knot was nice and tight so the rope wouldn’t come undone.

Lori handed me a flashlight as Shane moved off with a simple.  “Don’t worry about it, bud.”  He knelt then and looked me in the eye as he stated firmly.  “We’re gonna get you out of here in one piece.”

“Living piece.  That living part is important.”  I told him as I took the noose I was to put around the walker and swung it on my shoulder.   Shane moved then to the rope that had been put around the spout that’s used to get the water from the well into a container.   It was thick and metal, but also old and rusted, and the rope had been wrapped around it make lowering me easier to control.

“Nice and slow please.”  I asked as Shane took the front, while T-Dog, Dale, Andrea, and Lori were holding the rope behind him.

“We got you.”  Andrea told me.

“Oh, you people are crazy.”  Maggie said off at the side not wanting any part in this.

“You want to get it out of your well or not?”  Shane asked.

“Give us an eye there, Maggie.”  Dale said.  She walked to the well to keep an eye on my progress.  I slipped off the edge and they started a slow decent down.  The closer I got to the thing the faster my heart beat.  I was terrified, for myself, for my baby, Daryl’s reaction when he finds out about this.  “Doing okay?”  Maggie asked as she peered in from above.

“Yup, doing great.”  I lied through my teeth, I wanted out of there so badly.  “Living the dream.”  I muttered.  I flashed the light down at the walker, which it responded to, but when I moved the light away it went back to what it had been doing which was walking in a circle and scratching at the rock walls as if I wasn’t even there.

That’s when I realized that the closer I got the less it seemed to notice me at all.  They lowered me further as I took off the noose from my shoulder and I prepared to put it around him.

“Little lower, little more.”  Maggie told them.  That’s when the pipe broke and I felt the jerk which made me scream and that’s when the walker took notice.  But quickly lost interest, something I’d never seen before.

I heard yelling above me as they were grabbing for the pipe as I fell some more and I screamed at them.  “Get me out of here!”  I felt a hand at my foot and freaked, it let go as if it no longer had any interest in eating me that’s when I calmed down, as I took the noose in my hand and slipped it around the bloated walker.

As I remained calm while the others continued to struggle with pulling me up, ‘cause it turned out that T-Dog grabbed the pipe instead of Shane, and Shane didn’t want to hurt T-Dog so he didn’t use his strength as they all held onto him.   But then as my fear went away the walker suddenly grabbed my leg and while snarling tried to bite me.

I screamed.  “Get it off, get off.”  My fear ratcheted up again as I kicked to dislodge it suddenly wishing Daryl was there and thinking I had been dumb enough to agree to be walker bait.  “Get me out!”  I screamed as it let go no longer interested in me.  By that point Shane got hold of the rope and using his strength easily started to pull me out of the well as the others held on with T-Dog to that pipe.

I was breathing hard as I grabbed the rod and pulled myself the rest of the way out of the well where I collapsed on the ground as the others ran to me.  “Glenn, are you okay?”  Lori asked.

I was on my hands and knees trying not to be sick as Dale said.  “Back to the drawing board.”

I looked at me as I got my panic under control as I slowly stood.  “Says you.”  I handed him the other rope that had the noose which was firmly attached to the walker.

As they all looked in the well I went off to throw up for a few minutes.   I also had to figure out what the hell had happened in that hole.  When I got scared it didn’t even know I was there.  But when I calmed down and was no longer afraid it tried to bite me.  I figured it had to be a new mutation right, as long as I’m scared the walker never even noticed me.  I wasn’t even sure if that was right, but what else did I have to go on, it was so random and why hadn’t it happened before now.  I placed a hand on my belly as I’d calmed and then a thought suddenly came to me.  What if the mutation I experienced wasn’t mine.  I wasn’t about to put a voice to these thoughts until I had more evidence, ‘cause all I had at that moment was a theory.

I straightened up and walked back to the others as they wrapped the rope around the saddle of Maggie’s horse and got in a line to pull the walker out of the well.  Andrea, Lori, Dale, myself all started pulling on the rope as Maggie led the horse.

“Come on guys pull.”  T-Dog said as he stood next to the well watching the walking below.

“Come on, y’all.”  Shane seconded from his position at the rear of the rope line as we pulled, but he didn’t want to risk pulling to hard and ripping the body, so he pulled from the back to ease the horses struggle.

“Almost there, come on, pull, guys.”   T-Dog encouraged.

“Come on, y’all together.”  Shane said as we all yanked and pulled as a team.

“Nice and easy, just a little more.”  T-Dog said just as the walker’s upper body became visible.  “You’ve got to pull it, man.”   T-Dog said as the walker got stuck.

“It’s stuck! Come on.”  Shane said.  We all pulled and nothing happened.

Shane sighed.  “That’s it, move.”  Shane ordered in frustration as he pushed us away then took a firmer hold wrapping the rope around his arm.  And as we watched he pulled with all his strength and the worst happened.  The walker ripped in two, his upper half on land, his lower half along with a lot of blood and insides went right back into the well, and I got sick again right there on the grass.  I looked up and saw Maggie watching me; there was worry in her expression.

If the well wasn’t infected before, it was now.  We were upset as Dale said.  “We should seal off this well.”  The walker was trying to grab at us.

“Yeah, might be a good idea.”  Shane said as he rubbed his head in aggravation.  It wasn’t totally Shane’s fault he tried to get the walker unstuck it just didn’t work out.

“So what do we do about—” Andrea started but was cut off as T-Dog started going in on the walkers head with a metal rod.  Maggie turned around unable to watch and I felt sick again, I watched as she walked off while the rest just waited for T-Dog to finish.

“Good thing we didn’t do anything stupid like shoot it.”  T-Dog said once he was done, he threw the rod on the ground and walked away.

The rest went their separate ways, Shane and Andrea mentioned going to the highway to see if Sophia made it back, they went to ask if Carol wanted to come.  I went back to camp to grab my backpack before I saddled up next to Maggie and we headed to town.   It was silent for a while and it was making me nervous, of course I’d been nervous since getting out of that hole in the ground.  I wished Daryl had been back before I left, I knew he should be back by tonight, it still worried me though when he’s out there alone.  Not that Daryl can’t handle himself, it’s just that I love him so much, that being away from him, worries me.

I decided to break the silence.  “You know, normally this is the kind of thing I’d do on my own.  Solo.”  I chuckled, she didn’t respond, I continued to babble, just to fill the silence.  “It’s sort of my thing, you know?”  Still nothing.

I finally asked as we passed a bar into town.  “You all right?”

“I’m fine.”  Her voice didn’t sound fine to me.

“I saw the look on your face, back at the well.  Never seen one killed up close before?”  I asked, she didn’t answer.  “Guess it’s kind of a shock.  You know, being out on the road, we’ve seen a lot.  Guess we’ve gotten a little numb to it.”

“Whoa.”   She told her horse as it slowed down, and then spoke to me.  “I guess so.”  She got off as I followed her lead and we both stopped in front of the pharmacy window.  There was a cardboard sign that read.  ‘Take what you need and God bless.’

I slipped off my pack as she asked.  “You sick?”  I looked at her confused.  “I saw you throw up, at the well, are you sick?”  I shook my head.

“Finicky stomach right now.”  I informed her.  She nodded; I wasn’t ready to tell her about my current condition until Rick and the rest of us were sure of her group.  She had a saddle bag swung on her shoulder as she entered the building, I followed after.

The place looked like it had already been pretty much ransacked; I hoped we could find what we needed.  “I’ll go see what antibiotics are left.”  She informed me before asking.  “What else is on the list?”

“Uh…”  I pulled out the papers and handed her the first one, the piece I kept is what Lori needed and the prenatal vitamins.  “Why don’t you get started?”

“What about you?”  She asked as she unfolded the paper.

“I’m gonna look around, see what’s worth grabbing.  Just some general stuff.”  That seemed to work as she walked off to grab the stuff, and with pack in hand I looked for the feminine aisle.

I grabbed a basket to put the items in as I found the feminine hygiene section and started looking.  I found prenatal vitamins that Lori put on there and put those in my pack, and then I started looking through for what Lori wanted.

I picked up a few pieces and dropped them before I found what I was looking for.  I picked it up in shock as I looked at it; it was clearly marked as a pregnancy test.  That’s when Maggie showed up behind me.  “What do you got?”  She asked as she was putting bottles of pills and bandages in her saddle bag.

I stuffed it quickly in my pack with the vitamins and grabbed the first thing my hand came in contact with before I stood up.  “Nothing.”  I turned around with box in hand.  “Just, like I said, general stuff.”   I glanced at the box and had to stop as I took a better look at what I’d grabbed.

“Condoms?”  Maggie asked.  Well wasn’t that embarrassing, if only I’d found condoms a couple of months ago I wouldn’t be in this current condition, Daryl’s just going to love hearing about this.  I looked at her in shock as she asked.  “You got a girlfriend I don’t know about?”

“No.  No girlfriend.”  But before I could tell her the truth ‘cause I wasn’t going to hide it she said.

“Then you’re a pretty confident guy.”  I realized then what she thought.

“No.”   I set the box down.  “No, no, no, I-I-I wasn’t—I would _never_ —”

“Something wrong with me?”  She asked slightly offended.  I was nervous and embarrassed and was trying to tell her the truth but it was hard when she made me feel slightly intimidated.

“No.  No, I—I would never have sex—I-I’m—I’m lost.”  I was flabbergasted.  I didn’t know how to tell her the truth now without sound like an ass making up an excuse after all that stuttering just now.

“I’ll have sex with you.”

“What—No.  I—I can’t.”

“So, another girlfriend, I’m not your type, you’re gay what excuse is it then.”  I didn’t have an answer right then as she set down the saddle bags and took off her cowboy hat as she walked up in my personal space.  She took off my baseball cap right before she kissed me and I freaked thinking of what Daryl would say.  I pushed her back and she seemed confused and angry.

“What is it then?!”  She was slightly pissed off.

“I have a boyfriend okay.”  I told her suddenly.

“So you are gay?”

“Yes and no.  I’m bisexual that happens to be in a relationship.  Maggie it’s not that I don’t want to, the problem is I do.  But I can’t.”

“You love him?”  She asked as she gave me some space.

“Yes I do, very much so.”  I said without hesitating or stuttering.

“It’s the redneck isn’t it?”  She asked, I nodded.

“He seemed real possessive for someone that was just a friend.  Why didn’t you just say it?”

“You make me nervous, girls always have.  And I didn’t want it to come off as an excuse, because it’s not, it’s true.”

“Let’s forget this happened then.”  Maggie put her hat back on and grabbed her saddle bags and then went to collect the rest of the list.  I put my cap on and grabbed my pack as I stuffed the condoms in there, then grabbed anything else we might need, I went to the counter where the register was and found a small white paper bag to put Lori’s item in while Maggie was distracted with gathering things.  A few minutes later she was ready to leave, so we headed back to the horses and rode for the farm.

It was quite on the way back and we didn’t speak of the mistake in the pharmacy as we rode.  Half way back to the farm I broke the silence.  “Maggie, I would like to be your friend.”  She looked at me and then smiled.

“I’m sorry; I pushed myself onto you assuming something that wasn’t there.  You said bi, so you must’ve been at least a little bit attracted to me?”

“Yes Maggie, try very, but what Daryl and I have, is real, and I love him.  I would never hurt him by cheating on him.”

“I can respect that.”  The rest of the way was a comfortable silence as we got to the farm and I tied the horses reigns to the tree out front as Hershel came down the steps to greet Maggie.

“Everything go okay?”  He asked.

“Fine.  Nothing happened.”  She told him, before heading to the house, Hershel glanced at me then went with her.  Lori passed them as she came out of the house screen door slamming behind her.

“Did you find it?”  She asked me as Maggie and Hershel entered the house.

I slipped my pack off and pulled it out handing it to her; she stuffed in in the back of her pants covering the rest with her shirt.  I decided not to say anything, it was none of my business, I turned to see that Daryl had gotten back as he walked into the R.V.  There was still a tent or two to be put up; the one I’ve been sharing with Daryl was one of them.

I followed Daryl at the R.V. and opened it to speak with him when I saw that Carol was in the back sawing, I saw Daryl stop and place a beer battle with a white flower in it on the counter in front of her.  I noticed that the place was also cleaned up, I didn’t speak as I witnessed this moment between them.

“A flower?”  Carol asked

“It’s a Cherokee Rose.”  Daryl told her.  He moved a little closer as he continued to explain.  “The story is, that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much ‘cause they were losing their little ones along the way.  From exposure and disease and starvation.  A lot of them just disappeared.  So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers’ spirits, give them strength and hope.”  Daryl paused as he swallowed before he finished.

“The next day this rose started to grow right where the mothers’ tears fell.  I’m not fool enough to think there’s any flowers blooming for my brother.  But I believe this one bloomed for your little girl.”  Carol didn’t say anything as Daryl backed out and turned, he saw me standing there in the open door.

He grabbed the back of my neck before he looked back toward Carol.  “She’s gonna really like it in here.”  The door closed behind us as we left.  Daryl wasn’t angry that I’d been there; I can tell when he’s angry; his hold would be a lot more painful.

He led me behind the R.V. out of sight where he kissed me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his hands on my sides as we continued to make out for several minutes, until we had to part for air, well air for me it didn’t seem that Daryl had gotten winded.

“Let’s put up that tent.”  Daryl said as he put his hand on the small of my back and we got to work.  Half an hour later it was up and we were putting out sleeping bags with the pillows on top.  Daryl kissed my neck as I ended up next to him in the tent.  I stopped him though so we could talk.

“Daryl there was an incident with a walker today.”

“What happened?”  Daryl asked as he sat down as I explained to him what had happened, from the moment we were gathered at the well, to when we realized we needed live bait voiced by Andrea.  I told him about Shane’s argument why I was best qualified, and right to when I almost fell on top of the walker.

“The strangest thing was how the walker responded.  It acted as if I wasn’t even there…as long as I panicked, but the moment I calmed it tried to take a bite out of my leg, which scared the crap out of me.  It let go, I can’t understand it, but I don’t want to question it.  In the end the whole plan fell apart, when the walker tore in two and contaminated the well anyways.”  I finished.  Daryl listened, didn’t interrupt and seemed to handle it very well.

Daryl and I walked out of our tent a few minutes later as he saw Shane and Andrea talking as they were coming back to camp.  He grabbed my hand and walked over to them.  “I want to talk with you two, now.”  Daryl said as he got closer.  They looked at each other and followed as Daryl led to a secluded spot away from prying eyes and ears before rounding on them and letting my hand go.

He pointed to Shane as he said.  “You ever lower Glenn into a well again you better damn well hope I’m dead, ‘cause _you_ will be.”  Daryl told him as his voice got low and sinister.  Shane was opening his mouth to defend himself when Daryl interrupted as he pointed to Andrea.  “You ever suggest someone be live bait, you do it or goddamn self, ‘cause if you don’t, then _I_ will throw you down that well myself.”  Then he rounded on me.  “Don’t you ever agree to another fool act like that, you’re pregnant and you’re going to have to be a parent to this baby just like me, ‘cause if you _ever_ do that again, I’ll leave you.”  These weren’t threats that Daryl was just ideally making, the look in his eyes, he meant it and I understood then a part of who Daryl was.  I nodded, then Daryl walked away leaving us to watch him go.

As the sun set we got dinner and ate in the R.V. with the group, except for Rick and Lori who were in the house with their son.  We laughed and relaxed before we finished and headed to our separate tents with the rest set up and ready to sleep in.  I laid by Daryl when he spoke after several minutes of silence between us as the lights were being turned off.  “I’m sorry, when you told me what happened, I lost my head, I got pissed.  But the thought of losing you and _our_ baby is not something I want to think about.”

“Daryl, you don’t have to apologize, I know, and I love you for it.”  I grabbed Daryl’s arm and turned him so we were on our sides facing each other.  Daryl kissed me, and I kissed back as we started frantically taking off our clothes in a hurry before I got on my hands and knees as Daryl wrapped his arm around my waist holding me close as I felt him prepare and enter me smoothly as we moaned and groaned.

I thrust back meeting Daryl as we got in a rhythm together.  I didn’t tell him that day about what happened in the pharmacy with Maggie, ‘cause to me, nothing happened, I have who I want and I don’t regret a minute of telling her no.

I cried out Daryl’s name as I came, with Daryl seconds after.  We laid together in the afterglow as we cozied up to each other and fell asleep.  That night was relaxed and safe and peaceful as we slept together not having to worry about anything, after all worry is a day time thing.


	5. Chupacabra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: There are racial slurs in this chapter.
> 
> A/N: This wasn't one of my better chapters, I was emotionally depressed during this one and I did my best I'm still looking for a beta reader and if someone is interested that would be great. So this is unedited and could use the help. But please enjoy this and I'll get working on the missing scenes and the next chapters.

Chupacabra

Daryl's POV

 

As morning came camp started to wake up and got busy, with the sun came work.  Glenn and I got up early, he took those pills Lori had suggested as we’d dressed and left our tent to join the others in what’s quickly becoming a routine.  Carol started on the laundry after we ate breakfast, which happened to be whatever was handy, while I cleaned and prepared my bow as we waited for Rick and the rest.

Lori had been the last one up; she was putting her boots on as Dale passed her with a pleasant “Morning.”  Which she returned before standing and walking over to where Carol was hanging clothes on the line to dry.

 I was reattaching the string as I watched the girls, I wasn’t trying to hear them but my control was still finicky, so I heard every word.

“I can’t believe I slept in.”  Lori said as she went to the basket of clothes on one of the picnic tables where Carol had the line set up.

“You must have needed it.”  Carol told her.  “Feeling all right?”  Carol asked as she grabbed more clothes as Lori started grabbing as well.

“Next time wake me all right?  Especially on laundry day.”  Lori told her as she tossed a couple of jeans on her shoulder and turned to hang a shirt on the line.

“I can manage.”  Carol informed her, and then changed the subject as she grabbed a clothes pin and hung a tan flowery top to the line.  “I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”

“What’s that?”

“That big kitchen of theirs got me thinking.  I wouldn’t mind cooking in a real kitchen again.  Maybe we all pitch in and cook dinner for Hershel and his family tonight.”  Carol suggested, as she looked at Lori she explained her reasoning.  “Kind of looking for things to keep my mind occupied.”

“After everything they’ve done for us, seems like the least we could do.”  Lori agreed as she finished hanging the pants before walking back to the basket.

Carol was standing there with several pairs of socks when she asked.  “You mind extending the invitation?”  Lori didn’t answer as Carol continued.  “Would just feel more right coming from you.”

“How so?”  Lori asked going on the other side of the line to hang up a pair of boxer shorts.

“You’re Rick’s wife.  It sort of makes you our unofficial first lady.”

Before Lori could respond Shane spoke up.  “Morning, guys let’s get going.  We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”  Shane was behind Rick and he was speaking to Andrea and T-dog who were cleaning the tools which they stopped and everyone gathered at the car.  By everyone that included from passenger side, Shane, Andrea, Rick, T-Dog and me.

“All right, everyone’s getting new search grids today.  If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we’ve been so far.”  Shane opened the passenger door with a squeak and sat down.

“I’d like to help.”  I looked up at the new voice, it was the boy Jimmy who walked up to Rick, he was green; you could see it in his eyes.  He probably didn’t even know how to hold a gun no way I was letting that kid watch my back.  I was putting my red checkered long sleeved shirt on as he continued to speak.  “I know the area pretty well and stuff.”

“Hershel’s okay with this?”  Rick asked him.

“Yeah, yeah.  He said I should ask you.”  I heard a slight change in his vocal pattern when he spoke, I didn’t say anything ‘cause at the time I wasn’t sure what it meant, later I found out the kid lied.

“All right then, thanks.”  Rick told him.

“Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me.  Anyone could have been holed up in that farmhouse.”  Shane said form where he sat.  I hadn’t told them about the girl who’d jumped out the window and ran off into the woods, I hadn’t seen the point.

“Anybody includes her right?”  Andrea asked.

I scratched my nose after I’d finished buttoning my shirt as I spoke.  “Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high.”  I mentioned using my hand to demonstrate what I was saying; it was about Sophia’s height.  Unless that girl had been real limber, it was the only lead we had and the girl had been quick to run off, I had nothing else, but it _was_ a slim chance at best.

“It’s a good lead.”  Andrea said.

“Maybe we’ll pick up her trail again.”  Rick said.

“No maybe about it.  I’m gonna borrow a horse, head up to this ridge right here.”  I pointed on the map.  “Take a bird’s-eye view of the whole grid.  If she’s up there, I’ll spot her.”  Dale walked up next to me and laid the bag of guns on the car.

“Good idea.”  T-Dog sounded surprised.  Then he had to razz me.  “Maybe you’ll see your Chupacabra up there too.”

“Chupacabra?”  Rick asked.

“You never heard this?”  Dale asked, and then went on to explain as he sifted through the guns in the bag.  “Our first night in camp, Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a Chupacabra.”  Dale pulled out a riffle and passes it to Rick.  Jimmy laughed.

“What are you braying at, jackass?”  I wasn’t happy with being made fun of.

“So, you believe in a blood-sucking dog?”  Jimmy asked with disbelief in his voice.

“Do you believe dead people walking around?”  I fired back.

Jimmy then grabbed at the riffle; Rick stopped him from picking it up.  “Hey, hey.  Ever fire one before?”  Rick asked.

“Well, if I’m going out, I want one.”  Jimmy told him, which really wasn’t an answer to his question.

I slung my bow on my back as I told him with a little more heat in my voice from his earlier laugh.  “Yeah, and people in hell want slurpees.”  I walked away then to grab a horse.  I stopped as I saw Glenn and grabbed his arm tenderly.

I then heard Shane speak to Jimmy who’d started walking off as well.  “Why don’t you come train tomorrow?  If you’re serious, I’m a certified instructor.”

“For now he can come with us.”  Andrea said.  I kissed Glenn who held onto my arms for a few moments before we parted.

“He’s yours to babysit then.”  Shane told Andrea.

That was my queue to go get that horse as Rick issued the rest of his orders.  “All right, Andrea, T-Dog I want you guys…” I continued onto the barn until the rest became background noise.  As I got on a horse and started out I saw that Glenn had made it to the porch and was sitting in a rock chair as he strummed on the guitar Dale had found for him.  Dale had given it to him this morning while I’d been cleaning my arrows.  He waved; I waved back then lost sight of him as I rode into the woods.

For a while, several minutes possibly half an hour I rode, I shot a few squirrels here and there as I saw them, I shot one hit it right in the back pinning it to the tree it had been climbing, I pulled the arrow off the tree, removed the squirrel storing it with the rest in the pack on the horse as I trotted on by.

I was looking down into the creek a different part I hadn’t come to yet and saw something.  “Whoa.”  I told the horse pulling on the reigns as she stopped.  I slipped off taking the rope and tied it to a tree so the horse couldn’t leave and walked closer.  It looked like a toy.  I took my bow off my back and headed down the incline into the creek bed, using the trees around to keep from slipping, the ground was soft and muddy.

I walked to where a fallen tree had rotted away and whatever had been caught under a decayed branch, the water slapped on the fringes of my pant legs as I stopped and bent down picking up Sophia’s doll, the one she had been holding when she disappeared.  This gave me hope.

“Sophia!”  I called as I moved back and looked at the trees; I hadn’t even noticed I was ankle deep in water.  I didn’t hear anything other than a few birds and hardly even that as I went back to the horse and continued on my way.

I didn’t get far when the horse stopped.  I was listening to what had bothered her when several birds screeched and flew up from the bush, making the horse jump.  “Whoa.  Easy, easy.”  I told her softly.  The birds had flown off and everything got quite, I made some kissing sounds to get her to move again and we headed on down the trail I was taking.

I was looking out, keeping my eyes open and it had been quite, when suddenly there’s a hiss beneath the horse and she freaked out and started to buck ‘cause of a damn snake.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.”  I tried to get her to calm down, but after a few bucks I was thrown off the horse and rolling down a hill.  I had no control of my decent and no way to stop myself as I went head over heels and fell into an embankment and down into muddy water after hitting my head on one of the slicked rocks before I finally came to rest at the bottom of this trench.

I slowly rolled to my back with a groan; my eyes closed my ears ringing from the hit to the head as I finally voiced myself.  “Son of a bitch.”  I was grabbing my side where my own goddamn arrow had pierced me as I looked at it then rested my head in the water.  I groaned as I tried to look at it again I knew my blood was getting the water red all around me.  Not to mention it hurt like a mother fucker.

It took some gritting and groaning as I managed to roll over and somewhat got off the ground, stumbling as I went, while one hand his holding my side where the arrow was firmly lodged.  I knew I had to get out of the water so I headed in the other direction to where I saw sandy earth and fell to my knees when I made it there.

I looked at the arrow again, I knew I had to tie it off from being pulled or yanked, ‘cause that wouldn’t be good.  I take my hunting knife from its sheath at my other side and cut a hole in my shirt sleeve before I pulled ripping it off; I repeated the motion to the other sleeve as well.  I tied the two sleeves together then wrapped it around my waist and secured it to the arrow shaft as tight as I could grunting and groaning and spitting curses in my head.

Once that was done I sat back on my hunches and looked at where I had to go in order to even think of getting back to the farm.  It was practically a small mountain of rock and trees and several feet of climbing to reach land.

I got to my feet and I was tired, after my fall, getting to dry ground, the pain of tying off the arrow I was exhausted but knew that as long as I was here bleeding I was endanger of being found by walkers and I wasn’t going to leave Glenn or my child.

I found a stick which I used to help keep my balance when I heard rustling in some bushes.  I reached for my bow and that’s when I realized it wasn’t on my back.   ‘Oh, shit.’ Ran through my mind.  I couldn’t leave without.

I went back to where I’d fallen and using the stick I’d picked up, I started dragging it through the water till I hit something.  Once I had I reached down and grabbed it then pulled it out of the water and stood back up, carefully I walked along the mountain.  I wasn’t going to even try and climb that rocky surface so I needed to find an area I _could_ climb.

I used that stick I found to help support me as I made my way through the water using my other hand to hold my side as I grunted with pain.  I finally found a smaller slop I could use to get back up on the trail.  I put both hands on the stick and dug it into the ground as I moved up to keep myself from falling back, it was slow going.

I moved the stick to propel myself upwards and then grabbed one of the thinner tree trunks to keep from falling.  I through the stick on the ground ahead of me and I pulled on the tree, and that’s how it went for several minutes, wasn’t even half way up and I was panting and grunting and wishing for the pain to end.  The strap I used to keep my bow on my back was wrapped around my arm adding to the weight making it more difficult to climb, but there was no fucking way I was leaving it behind.

As I continued to move at this snail’s pace I pictured Glenn in my mind, what he might be doing right at this moment, the love his eyes every time he looks at me, the worry if I didn’t get back to him, that’s what pushed me onward, Glenn’s worry if I didn’t get home.  Soon I found myself almost to the top, I dug the stick in the muddy ground and it slipped, I realized there was no way to get any more purchase in the ground at this point so I dropped it.

I looked up and tried to reach for my next tree and missed I fell back a little.  “Oh, come on.  You’ve done half, stop being such a pussy.  Come on.”  I grunted in pain and frustration.  I set my feet against a rock in the mud and then pushing off of it and reached up and grabbed my next tree limb.

Some loosened rocks mostly pebbles started to come lose I fell back again, panting heavily; suddenly the earth beneath me started to crumble and I couldn’t get my footing as I fell back losing my grip on the trees and rolled back down the incline I had managed to climb up.  My foot caught on a branch and I sored then landed painfully on my back with a grunt as I hit my head again then all was black before I came to a stop.

I’m not sure how long I laid next to the creek before I heard footsteps and opened my eyes, I wasn’t really awake as I looked up and saw my big brother Merle standing above me.  “Why don’t you pull that arrow out, dummy?”  He asked.  “You could bind your wound better.”

My lip quirked up as I said.  “Merle.”  He laughed.

“What’s going on here?  You taking a siesta or something?”  He asked.

“Having a shitty day, bro.”  I closed my eyes again as the pounding in my head made it hard for me to keep my eyes open.

“Like me to get your pillow?   Maybe rub your feet?”  He asked sarcastically, that’s just like him.

“Screw you.”  I looked at him, looked down and noticed the burned stump on his right hand, for days I’ve been having nightmares about Merle’s state and here he was, though I wasn’t so sure he really was here.

“Huh-uh.  You’re the one screwed from the looks of it.  All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get?  Look at you.  Lying in the dirt like a used rubber.  You’re gonna die out here, brother.  And for what?”

“A girl.  They lost a little girl.”

“So you got a thing for little girls now?”

“Shut up.”  My voice was getting weaker as I closed my eyes blinked my eyes.

“’Cause I noticed you ain’t out looking for old Merle no more.”

“Tried like hell to find you, bro.”

“Like hell you did, you split, man.  Lit out first chance you got.”

“You lit out; all you had to do was wait.  We went back for you.  Rick and I, we did right by you.”  I told what I soon realized was a hallucination brought on from those hits to the head, fear and the overwhelming need to get back to safety and Glenn.

“This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place?  Forced me to cut off my own hand?  This him we’re talking about here?  You his bitch now?”

“I ain’t nobody’s bitch.”  I said defensively.

“You’re a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers and democrats.”  He chuckled then continued.  “You’re nothing but a freak to them.  Redneck trash that knocked up a homo Chink.  That’s all you are.  They’re laughing at you behind your back.  You know that, don’t you?  I got a little news for you, son.  One day they gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit.”  I started drifting off again.

He tapped my chest.  “Hey.”  I opened my eyes half ways and looked at him.  “They ain’t your kin, your blood, that kid ain’t yours it’s his.  Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours; you’d go back there and shoot your pall Rick in the face for me.”   I turned my head; he used his stump and turned my face to him.  “Now you listen to me.  Ain’t nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother.”  He tapped my cheek with his other hand.  “Ain’t nobody ever will.  Come on; get up on your feet before I have to kick your teeth in.”

He stood then kicked my foot as he said.  “Let’s go.”  He crouched down and started pulling at my boot.  That’s when I came around as I looked and saw a walker trying to bite through to my foot.  I kicked it off me and started to scramble away as I grabbed for my bow that was just out of reach.

It started to get on top of me pulling at my shirt as I was trying to push it off of me, to say I was freaking out would be an understatement.  I wrapped my hand around a twig and stabbed it in the arm then grabbed his neck as I rolled over he gripped my hair as we continued to roll while it growled and snarled and tried to bite me.  Finally I threw it off me during the roll to my back.

That’s when I heard and saw a second one coming, and the thing that went through my mind was that Glenn would be devastated if I didn’t make it back. I got to my feet with the branch I’d been using as a crutch as the first came at me again.   I hit it and it fell to the ground then I got on top of it holding the branch on its chest.  Then as I straddled the fucker I brought my crutch up and slammed it into his head, once, twice, three times then I turned it and stabbed his skull where is face had once been.

I got to my back as I saw the second one getting closer, I grabbed the arrow still in my side and gritting my teeth with determination I yanked pulling the arrow out.  I’d never felt such pain as I groaned and I’m man enough to say it, whimpered.  I put the shaft of the arrow in my mouth and grabbed my bow; I put the butt of my weapon of choice against my side as I started pulling the string back.  It hurt, I was in serious pain and I never had so much trouble pulling that string back as I had at that moment.  I bit into the shaft of the arrow as I struggled to get the string locked.

Finally it clicked I took the arrow from my mouth and placed it in the crossbow and aimed just as the walker was reaching me.  I had laid on my back again and shot, it went straight into its black forehead and then fell on the ground.  I looked at it and I lied there for several minutes catching my breath my bow resting on my chest as I held it loosely.

I had closed my eyes and I guess dozed off as I woke up, I wasn’t sure how long later, it was still daylight so I knew that it couldn’t have been that long.  I looked around as I sat up, I was still next to the lake and the two dead walkers were lying there the only testament to my struggle.

I got back up and leaned back where I was going to climb as I took off the shirt I had ripped my sleeves off of and rolled it up then pressed it to my wound.  I used the tied up sleeves I had used to keep the arrow from moving to keep the shirt in place as I was about to try this climb a second time.  I tightened the sleeves groaning as I did so, I picked up my bow and said.  “Son of a bitch was right.”  Speaking of my hallucination, and I guess you could say I lost it at that time, I saw a squirrel and killed it, then I found a log straddled it took the squirrel I had just killed and taking my hunters knife cut it down the middle.  I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and I was weak, I needed food in order to keep my strength and make it up that damned hill.

So I ate the insides of the squirrel it wasn’t pretty and it sure wasn’t that tasty, then I grabbed the doll that had gotten loose and tossed when I’d fallen the second time into this ditch, I put it at my back secure in the ties I had made with the sleeves.  Then as any hunter I needed a prize of my kills, so I went to one of the downed walkers and took his shoe laces off, then grabbed my knife and cut their ears.  Once they were strung on the lace I tied the two ends together and admired my handy work.   I placed it around my neck, and then headed to get up that goddamned hill.

Using a thicker branch then before I got to the half-way point where I fell last time and let it go as I was holding onto that tree trunk.  I grabbed a root sticking out of the ground and taking some breaths and pulled myself up; I had to resituate my bow when I heard birds screeching from above.  I looked and didn’t see any for a few minutes, then a flock passed overhead.

“Please, don’t feed the birds.”  I heard Merle say behind me.  I looked and there he was all bold headed and one handed at the top of the hill taunting me, he laughed before saying.  “What’s the matter, Darylina?  That all you got in you?”  I pulled myself up backwards as he continued to talk.  “Throw awayhat purse and climb.”

“I like it better when you was missing.”   I told him as I pulled on the roots keeping my other hand on the strap of my bow not letting it go.

He laughed again.  “Come on, don’t be like that.  I’m on your side.”

“Yeah?  Since when?”  I asked as I pulled the strap on my shoulder so I could get a better grip to get up.

“Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother.  Somebody had to look after your worthless ass.”  I had a hold on some vines to keep from slipping.

“You never took care of me.”  I told him, he was never there for me, he had taken off the first chance he’d gotten, when they hadn’t put in juvie that is.  “You talk a big game but you was never there.  Hell, you ain’t here now, guess some things never change.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what—I’m as real as your Chupacabra.”

“I know what I saw.”  I turned to grab the next root.

“And I’m sure them shrooms you ate had nothing to do with it, right?”  I was getting mad, someone believed me, after they had all laughed I had left the camp, Glenn had followed and he told me he believed my story.  That’s when I first liked the kid, the next night we kissed and that was the beginning.

“You’d best shut the hell up.”  I told my hallucination.  He was lightly crouched with one hand on his knee and his bloody stump pointing at me.

“Or what?  You’re gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me?  Well, come on and do it then, if you think you’re man enough.”  He laughed as I made my climb getting closer to the top, he continued to taunt me.  “Hey, kick off them damn high heels and climb, son.”

He laughed some more as I was getting frustrated, I had to get back to camp, show them what I found and get to Glenn.  “You know what?  If I were you I’d take a pause for the cause, brother.  ‘Cause I just don’t think you’re gonna make it to the top.”  I grabbed another trunk, thin one and twisted myself around it to gain some higher ground, Merle continued.  “Come on, come on, little brother.”  He waved his stump for me to come to him.  “Grab your friend Rick’s hand.” 

Finally I dug my fingers into the top of the hill and Merle was gone, as I pulled myself the rest of the way up groaning and grunting the whole way.  “Yeah, you’d better run.”  I told him, and then I started the slow journey home.

It took a couple of hours to get back to the farm, by then I was so tired and still bleeding from my side wound as I was dragging my bow behind me on the ground unable to carry it on my back any longer.  And I knew I made it to the farm as I heard Andrea clear as day in the distance.  “Walker.  Walker!”  Clearly that would be me and the way I was moving I didn’t blame her, at the moment anyways.

“Just the one?”  I heard Rick ask as I was swinging my arm trying to keep my balance so I wouldn’t end up face first on the ground.  I was covered in dirt, blood, and I had walker ears around my neck, I never actually thought that one through on how it’d be seen, and at the time I hadn’t cared, all I cared about was being that much closer to camp, and more importantly Glenn.

Then I heard something that did disturb me from Andrea the one that wanted a gun so bad that she couldn’t stay off that damned R.V. roof.  “I bet I can nail it from here.”  Later I found out that the sun was blocking her view from being able to see that it was me.

“No, no Andrea put the gun down.”  Rick told her as I heard the others grabbing their tools to take care of a possible threat.

“You’d best let us handle this.”  Shane told her.

“Shane, hold up.  Hershel wants to deal with walkers.”  Rick told him.

“What for, man?  We got it covered.”  Shane retorted.

“Damn it.”  Rick had muttered, and which was I still heard as I was getting closer, slowly inch by painful inch.  I saw the guys in the distance, Shane, T-Dog, Glenn, and then Rick.  I wasn’t moving as fast, my bow slowing me down but I wasn’t going to leave it behind.

Shane was grunting probably from that sprained ankle as he was running with the rest to get to the threat.  I was exhausted as I continued to move forward with only one goal in mind, get back to Glenn.

“Andrea, Don’t.”  I heard Dale call.

“Back off, Dale.”  Andrea is one of those people who doesn’t listen until it’s too late and then gets upset that others are mad at her, it’s her own fucking fault.

They all arrived and stopped, Rick with his gun in my face…again.  “Daryl?”  Glenn asked rather confused if it was even me due to my appearance, I spoke to end any confusion.

“That’s the third time you’ve pointed that thing at my head.  You gonna pull the trigger or what?”  Shane took his cap off; Glenn was clearly relieved, as Rick lowered his gun.  I’m alive and I’ll be okay I just needed some first aid and I’d be fine, that is until…

A gunshot rang out as I twisted around and collapsed on the ground.  I heared Glenn’s terrified scream as Rick yelled.  “NO!”  Rick continued to shout at her.  “NO! NO!”  Which was also Glenn’s reaction as well, but more anguished.  Luckily it was just a graze and I was still mostly conscious.

“RICK!”  I heard Lori coming from the house as Shane and Rick come to my aid; I had the tie of ears in my mouth as I reached for the grazed bullet wound which Shane stopped me from touching as he pulled the string from my mouth. 

“What on earth’s going on out here?”  Hershel shouted for answers as both Shane and Rick got me up keeping their strength in check so not to do any more damage than that’s already been done.

“I was kidding.”  I told him as they got me to my feet.

“Come on.”  Rick said softly as they put my arms around their shoulders, together it was very easy for them to carry me back to the house, I don’t know what happened next as I fell unconscious.

I woke up to Hershel cleaning the blood from my side as Beth was holding my hand, I pulled it away, and she was confused.  “Ain’t no way you’re feeling my pain.”  I informed her, she seemed surprised by this.  “Out.”  I told her, I could handle my own.  She looked to Hershel who nodded and she left, I saw Shane sitting in a chair, Rick came in a few minutes later with a map and knelt on the other side of the bed as I rolled to my side so Hershel could start stitching me up.  Patricia had been holding a wadded up piece of paper towel to my bullet wound.  I took it from her and she left as well.

I heard the door open and knew it was Glenn as I answered Rick’s question on where I found the doll.  “I found it washed up on the creek bed right there.  She must have dropped it crossing there somewhere.”

Rick looked at where Shane was sitting.  “Cuts the grid almost in half.”  Glenn moved to the side and waited for Hershel to get finished, I saw him put a pile of my clothes on the dresser; there was something wrong I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Yeah, you’re welcome.”  I told Rick as I looked at Hershel then at Glenn.

“How’s he looking?”  Rick asked Hershel.

“I had no idea we’d be going through the antibiotics so quickly.”  Hershel said as he cut the thread after tying it off, he started to walk to the water basin to wash his hands as he continued.  “Any idea what happened to my horse?”

“Yeah, the one who almost killed me?  If it’s smart, it left the country.”  I told him as Rick rolled up the map.

“We call that one Nelly, as in nervous Nelly.  I could have told you she’d throw you if you’d bothered to ask.”  Hershel told me as he dried his hands; I glanced at where Glenn was shuffling his feet on the other side of the room trying to stay out of the way.  Hershel had walked up to Rick as he continued.  “It’s a wonder you people have survived this long.”  Rick and Shane left then I could them talk to someone outside, probably Lori as it seemed that woman can never do anything on her own, at least not without fucking up.

I continued to hear their voices but I tuned them out as I motioned for Glenn who sat in the vacated spot where the map had been.  Hershel started bandaging my forehead as I ran my hand down Glenn’s arm; he shivered and pulled away slightly.  Something was defiantly wrong, and I didn’t like it.

After Hershel was finished he left and Glenn helped me get into something a little less restrictive then my jeans.  He covered me and I thought it was sweet as I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me as I kissed him, that seemed to make him feel better, then he placed his hand on my side by mistake and I winced, he quickly pulled away.  “I’m sorry.”

“Glenn it’s alright.”  I told him as I patted the bed; he kicked off his shoes and got on.

“Daryl, I found something in your bag, the ABC book, Daryl do you know how to read?”  Glenn asked.

I was ashamed, after my mother died my dad took me out of school and moved to a small town where no one asked questions or cared.  Merle got arrested a year later and it didn’t seem to matter if I ever went to school.  “No I can’t.”

“It’s okay Daryl, you’ve told me enough about how you grew up so it doesn’t surprise me.  But that book, do you want to learn to read?”

“Yes, I’ve always wanted to read.”  I told him.

“I can teach you, when you get better, when we’re alone.”  I agreed ‘cause that sounded great, and no one else had to know.

It was a couple of hours before the sun started going down and I could smell that dinner was ready.  I had my head on Glenn’s lap as he was reading a book he’d brought for himself as he kept his hand against my arm as we laid there.  “Glenn, go eat.”  I told him.  Glenn smiled and kissed my cheek before I let him up and he left to eat with the rest.

It was close to half an hour after Glenn had gone downstairs when the door opened, at first I expected it to be him, but as I turned I saw Carol with a tray, a fancy glass with some sort of juice was on it and a plate of food.  I pulled the sheets up as I moved to look at her better.

“How are you feeling?”  She asked as she set the tray down on the nightstand against the lamp, which was the only illumination in the otherwise dark room at the moment.

“As good as I look.”  I told her settling back on the bed.

“I brought you some dinner, you must be starving.”  I moved again and looked at it on the stand, I didn’t say anything.  She leaned over and kissed my forehead, which came as a surprise to me, the only one that ever seemed to care about kissing or showing any kind of affection toward me was Glenn.

“Watch out I got stitches.”  I told her as she stood back up.

“You need to know something.  You did more for my little girl today than her own daddy ever did in his whole life.”  It was a compliment and while I should’ve just taken it as was I wasn’t use to being thanked.

“I didn’t do anything Rick or Shane wouldn’t have done.”

“I know.  You’re every bit as good as them.  Every bit.”  Let’s face it, I had been treated like scum by everyone since I met them, all but Glenn, and suddenly this woman was telling me that I was good, something not even my own daddy told me.  I had stopped believing I could be anything other than a redneck piece of trash, so scared to be a father to the baby growing inside Glenn ‘cause I didn’t want to be like my daddy, and she was telling me I had been a better man to this little girl then her own father.  Maybe I wasn’t so hopeless after all.

Carol left then closing the door behind her, after a while I did force myself to sit up and eat a little before going to sleep.  I don’t know what happened with Glenn, but the next morning I had woken up alone, and Glenn seemed distant, that’s when I knew something was really wrong.

* * *

Glenn's POV

 

After dinner we started to clean the tables, I helped Beth and Maggie but then after a little while I left to head out to the barn to wait for her while they finished drying and putting up, and I don’t know if Maggie had read the location yet I hadn’t seen her read it when I gave back her note to talk, but I knew I shouldn’t be waiting long as I checked the barn door and found it padlocked which was weird.

I had gone to the tent to get a flashlight so using that to light my way ‘cause I didn’t have Daryl’s eyesight I headed around to the side of the barn where I found an inset ladder to climb up into the loft, I hooked the flashlight in my pocket and then headed up.  And what I found inside was shocking to say the least.

I headed deeper into the loft my feet making the boards squeak as I moved, then suddenly there was this horrible smell, a smell I’d thought I had gotten use to but in such a confined space it was even more pungent then out on the road.  I moved my hand to my nose as my stomach rebelled against the rancid smell and the food I had eaten.  Then I heard it, the moaning, groaning and rasping as I shined the light below.  There were walkers; I’d say possibly a good dozen that I could see.

They noticed me as they walked in my direction and reached up for the light trying to get at me.  Suddenly I was terrified; here I had been thinking it was safe when there had been a barn full of walkers just next door to our camp.  As my fear increased they suddenly started to mill about again as if I wasn’t there, just like the guy in the well, it made no sense.

I turned then and ran for the exit and there was Maggie who must’ve run all the way here as she seemed out of breath.  “You weren’t supposed to see this.”  I was thankful for whatever it was that kept them from noticing me or they might have been pushing at the doors to get out, and that I know Daryl would’ve heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To find out what happened between Maggie and Glenn please read the missing scenes for this episode which I will be posting hopefully in the next week.


	6. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some things mentioned in this chapter that were in the missing scenes for the last chapter, it is explained enough that you don't have to read the missing scenes, but to understand further I do suggest it. Please enjoy and review.

Secrets

Glenn's POV

 

I slept in the tent that night, I couldn’t be with Daryl; I had a lot to think about, the kiss from Maggie, the walkers in the barn, I couldn’t think of anything else.  There was an overwhelming fear in the pit of my stomach when I woke the next day, it had been a restless sleep, one that I had tossed and turned through not knowing what to do.

I got changed and left the tent, as Daryl was coming back; he’d taken the bandage off his brow and kissed me.  “Where were you last night?”  Daryl asked.  I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn’t, not yet so I told him a half truth.

“I slept in the tent I didn’t want to hurt you by accident.”  Daryl seemed to accept that as he got cleaned up and then changed before lying down, I helped him prop up.  I left him to rest as I went to borrow Shane’s binoculars and used them to spy on the barn for a little while at the edge of camp, Maggie walked up to me caring a basket of fruit and a paper bag of beef jerky if the sickening smell was anything to go by.

“Could you be more obvious?”  She asked.  I lowered the binoculars and looked at her, she set the things down.  “Here, enjoy.”

“Are you trying to buy my silence with fruit?”  I asked.

“Of course not, there’s also jerky.”  Right, jerky that the very item that was making me sick, it’s a good think I have a handle on my gag reflex.

“Will you please tell me why your dad has a secret barn full of walkers?”  I asked, I needed to know so then I knew what to do next.  “It’s creepy.”  I told her my voice rising.

“Shh.”

“You know that right?”  I asked in a whisper that time.

“Shh.  Just trust me on this, okay?”  Trust her, okay I had trusted that she understood my relationship with Daryl and she kissed me again, I trusted this place to be safe and I found a barn full of walkers, how can I trust her.

“But I suck at lying.  I can’t even play poker it’s too much like lying.”  I tried to lie about my feelings for Daryl and he saw right through me.  I can’t lie to these people; that’s why I haven’t gone to see Daryl, ‘cause he’ll know, I am racked with guilt over what I did.  I want to tell him but I’m too scared and right now the situation in the barn is more important, for the safety of the group and my child.

“You have to keep this to yourself.  You have to, please.”  Maggie begged; then she turned and walked off.

I took the basket of fruit then headed to where Dale and T-Dog were setting up the overhang connected to the R.V. to create some shade so people could sit and relax underneath it.

“Dale, here’s some peaches for you.”  I told him as I held out the basket for him.

“Mm, thank you.”  He took one and I started to walk on as Andrea passed me coming out of the R.V.

“Morning.”  She said as she went.

I went up to T-Dog as he rubbed his eye.  “‘Sup?”  He asked.

“Nothing.”  I said nervously.  That got their attention as Dale walked over to us.  “Nothing’s up, why?”  They looked at me strangely, after they took the peaches and jerky, I moved on.

I saw Daryl in our tent, I decided to try and talk to him so Daryl doesn’t get suspicious that something might be wrong.  I saw Andrea walk in; he looked at her as he stopped putting holes in the screen with his arrow.  I got close enough to hear, but not disturb.

“This is not that great, but…”  Andrea handed him a book, he rolled my eyes, but I wasn’t going to say anything.  Last night I found out that Daryl can’t read, so I’m going to teach him, once I can find the time.

“What, no pictures?”  Daryl asked after flipping through it, he looked up at her from where he was lying his head propped up on pillows.

“I’m so sorry, I feel like shit.”  Andrea told him.

“Yeah, you and me both.”  Daryl grunted as he shifted the pillow to make himself a little more comfortable.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but if there’s anything I can do…”

“You were trying to protect the group, we’re good.”  That surprised me how forgiving Daryl was being about the whole thing.  Andrea stood off the crate she’d been sitting on and started to walk out when Daryl called to her.  “But hey, shoot me again, and you best pray I’m dead.”  That was more like my Daryl.  Once she was gone I came in.

“I got you some peaches.”   I told him as I held a couple in my hand for Daryl.  I sat on the crate she’d vacated.

“Where you been short stop?”  Daryl asked, I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes.

“Getting these peaches.”  I handed one to him.  Daryl took it with a grumbled thanks, I just knew he could see right through me.  “I better let you rest.”  I stood to leave when Daryl grabbed my wrist stopping me, I looked down at him.

“Whatever’s wrong, you can tell me.”  He assured me.

“I know.”  He let my wrist go, I grabbed the basket from outside the tent and headed to one of the picnic tables, I set it down as I saw Lori coming.

“What did Rick say?”  I asked.  She crouched down at the fire to stoke it, she didn’t answer my question that was how I knew.  “You didn’t tell him?”  Again she didn’t answer as she stood back up.  “But you have to.  You’re pregnant.”

She looked at me shocked and afraid that someone may have over heard, I kept my voice at a whisper.  “You need vitamins, medicine, a nice pillow.”  That last part sounded good, but I had other things on my mind.  And speaking of vitamins I forgot to take mine.  I grabbed the jerky I hadn’t eaten ‘cause just the smell made me sick.

“You can have my share.”  I told her.

“Honey, I don’t want your food, okay?  Eat.”

“It makes me sick, so please.  You need to eat; you’re too skinny, just like me.”  She poured some water from a blue jug into the skillet hung over the fire.  “And if you’re not gonna let Rick take care of you, then someone has to.”  She put the jug down.

“Lori, you have a medical condition.  Just like mine, I’ll make another run into town; just tell me what you need.  I can get more prenatal vitamins and anything else you want.”  I told her, right now if the walkers were going to continue to ignore me I was the best person to go.

“I need you to be quiet about this.  All right?  Please.”

There was a whistle; I turned as Shane called me.  “Hey!  Peach man.”  I sighed as I grabbed the basket and headed to the car where Rick, Shane and Jimmy were huddled around the map.

“The creek flows south, past that farmhouse Daryl found.  Maybe Sophia dropped the doll there, the current brought it downstream.”  I heard Rick say as I walked over to them, I stopped while they spoke.

“So what, you think she took this road here, and then she went north?”  Shane asked.

“Yeah, what’s up that way?”  Rick asked as he looked at Jimmy.

“A housing development.  It went in maybe ten years ago.”  Jimmy explained.

“Take a run up there after gun practice.  I’ll hold down the fort here, but take backup.  After what went down with Daryl, I don’t want anyone going out alone, we stay in pairs.”  Rick informed Shane.

Shane turned in my direction and I walked over closer so he could grab a peach.  He continued to speak to Rick.  “I’ll take suggestions on a partner.”

“See how they do on the range; then take your pick.”   Rick told him.  Rick grabbed a peach as well, I moved around to the other side, Rick thanked me.  Jimmy grabbed a peach as they started to eat them, I stood there; I wanted to say something.  I looked back at Lori as she messed with a stick then turned.  I looked back at Shane and Rick.

“My binoculars.”  Shane said, speaking of the binoculars that were hanging from my arm.

“Yeah, yeah.”  I said putting the basket down and took them off going around Rick again to hand them to Shane.  I grabbed the basket up again and started moving with a small.  “Okay, bye.”  It hadn’t been my place to tell Rick about Lori’s condition.

I walked over to the two person swing and set the basket of fruit down.  I saw Shane and Carl talking at the front of the R.V. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it wasn’t long before he gathered Rick, Lori and Dale as Carl showed Shane something.  He took him to one of the picnic benches and called them over.  I was off to the side against that swing as I watched.  Lori took a six shooter from Carl personally after Shane informed them.

She turned to Dale, Rick and Shane as she put the gun in the back of her pants as she asked.  “How the hell did this happen?”

“Well, it’s my fault; I let him into the R.V.”  Dale explained to her, he must’ve gotten the gun from the bag.  “He said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one.”

Lori wasn’t happy to hear this.  “So on top of everything else, he lied.”  She looked at Rick as she asked.  “What’s he thinking?”

“He wants to learn how to shoot, he asked me to teach him.”  Shane answered her.  “Now it’s none of my business, but I’m happy to do it, it’s your call.”

“I’m not comfortable with it.”  Lori told ‘em.  Rick looked at Shane who sighed; she took in their glances and got a little defensive.  “Oh, don’t make me out to be the unreasonable one here.  Rick?”

“I know, I have my concerns too, but—” Rick started then Lori interrupted.

“There’s no but, he was just shot.  He’s just back on his feet, and he wants a gun?”

“Better than him being afraid of ‘em.  There are guns in camp for a reason; he should learn to handle them safely.”

“I don’t want my kid walking around with a gun.”

“But how can you defend that?  You can’t let him go around without protection.”

“He’s as safe as he’ll ever be right here.”  There was a pause then Lori continued as she rested her hands on Rick’s chest.  “Look, everything you’re saying makes perfect sense, it feels wrong.  I mean, I didn’t feel good about him following you out into the woods.  And I wish I’d said something, I should’ve gone with my gut.”

“He’s growing up, thank God.  We’ve got to start treating him more like an adult.”

“Then he needs to act like one.  He’s not mature enough to handle a gun.”  Carl stood up then and spoke on his own behalf in this matter.  And for the record on what Lori had said, she wasn’t mature enough to take care of her son or keep her feelings for another man from interfering with the group, she shouldn’t have been commenting on someone else own immaturity.  But hey, Carl wasn’t my son, and she certainly wasn’t my wife.

“I’m not gonna play with it, mom.”  Carl said as he walked over to them.  “It’s not a toy.  I’m sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp.  I can’t do that without a gun.”  He explained.  I thought that was very mature for a kid his age.

“Shane’s the best instructor I know.  I’ve seen him teach kids younger than Carl.”  Lori glanced at Shane; then looked into Rick’s eyes, she made up her mind.  She walked the few feet separating her from her son and grabbed his chin making him look at her as she spoke.

“You will take this seriously and you will behave responsibly.  And if I hear from anyone in this camp that you’re not living up to our expectations—”

“He won’t let you down.”  Rick assured, Carl nodded.

“Yeah.”  He agreed.  She framed his face then turned and walked away, Dale headed back to the R.V., as Jimmy, Beth and Patricia were driving up with the truck to take them to the makeshift shooting range.

“Now if you’re gonna do this, you listen to Shane.”  Rick told Carl as he walked with him to the truck.  I was still leaning against the seat just waiting for the time that everyone can leave so I can talk with Dale, I made up my mind if I was gonna tell anyone what’s been going on, Dale, he was the guy, he’s level headed and never rushed into situations without getting all the facts.

“Okay dad.”  Carl told him.

“All right?  You be careful.”

Shane had his ride ready to lead them to the range as he turned to me.  “You coming?”  He asked.

“I gotta help Dale clean the spark plugs on the R.V. he said he’s gonna teach me mechanics.  I should probably go look for him.”  I lied.

“You found me.”  I turned and saw him right there, damn I’d just been caught.  “He’s a good learner.”  Dale said covering for my lie to Shane.  I looked at Shane as he closed the hatchback then limped to the driver’s seat as the other cars were starting up to head out.  His ankle was healing, I sometimes got the feeling Shane was hiding a lot more pain, as time went by I once caught him popping pain pills like they were candy.  I didn’t say anything ‘cause, well, he scared me.

Dale walked up next to me as we waved to the group.  Once they had left and we were alone Dale asked.  “Spark plugs, huh?  Want to tell me what’s going on?”

I faced him as I said the first thing that popped into my head, again, not how I wanted to start a conversation.  “You’re old.”  I closed my eyes and shook my head ‘cause that came out so wrong.  I opened my eyes and tried again.  “You’re—you know things.  So…what if somebody told you something that somebody else should know--?”

“Glenn, stop being dramatic spit it out.”  Dale told me a little tired of my stuttering and stalling.

“There’s—there’s walkers in the barn, Lori’s pregnant and I kissed Maggie.”  That left him speechless.  I then explained the situation how I knew about the walkers and he said he didn’t want to know about the Maggie issue that was between me and Daryl and as for Lori that wasn’t my business any more than his.  He said he’d talk to Hershel about the walkers, though.

Dale left to talk to Hershel and he came back a few minutes later to explain what had happened, how Hershel believed the walkers to be sick people instead of what they truly were, now that’s messed up.

After talking with Dale I had to do something, I spent most of the time with Daryl, we were making out gingerly of course ‘cause of his side when his hand brushed my chest and I pulled back with a gasp of pain.  “What’s wrong?”  Daryl asked concerned.

“Nothing, just hurt.”  I was confused myself why Daryl rubbing one of my nipples was painful; then I remembered I was pregnant, and I guess it was just another sign and symptom that I won’t be the same.

Daryl moved his hand across my forehead and caressed my cheek, it had been so close, I almost lost him, he kissed him again, and I eagerly kissed back.  These moments of peace were hard to come by these days, and when they were here we had to enjoy them with each other, there was no telling when it’d come again.  But on the inside, I felt like shit, I loved Daryl, and when Maggie kissed me it had felt good to my hurting soul after almost loosing Daryl.  She had taken advantage of that moment and I let her, I pulled away out of guilt.

“You need to rest; I’m gonna go chop some fire wood.”  I told Daryl as I stood up.

“Glenn, be careful and don’t overdo it.”  Daryl told me a clear warning in his voice that I won’t like the consequences if I don’t do as Daryl said.  I agreed and left our tent; I walked over to the chopping block and put a piece of wood there, then picked up the axe and swung cleaving the log in half.  I continued to chop for several minutes when Lori walked up to me.

I looked at her and saw that she wasn’t happy, which meant Dale most’ve mentioned it.  “I’m sorry.  I’m—it just came out, and it was Dale.”  I told her trying to explain what had happened that I never meant to tell him, but it had felt good to get it off my chest.

“It’s okay; I never should have put you in that position.”  That was a relief, she continued.  “I’ve been thinking about what you said about me needing help.  And you’re right, that I do.”

“Name it, yeah.”  I told her more than willing to do whatever she needed, to get her prenatal vitamins or anything else she asked for.

“If you’re still willing to make a run into town for me…”

“I’m your man.”  I told her, besides it’d give me time to think on how to tell Daryl what happened with Maggie, I had decided while chopping that he deserved to know, and to know that nothing happened, and that nothing will ever happen.  Then I’m gonna beg his forgiveness and pray that he’ll take me back.

“Thank you.”  Lori said a she hugged me; I hugged her back trying to ignore some of the tender pain that my chest area was feeling.  Okay so I’m embarrassed to say that my breasts and nipples sore, for women that’s fine, I’m a man it’s humiliating, though I guess it goes with the territory of being pregnant, still didn’t mean I wanted to comment on it or let the whole world know.

“It’s okay; it’s not a big deal really.”  I told her when she didn’t let me go, I was trying to reassure her that everything would be fine.  She finally released me and went to write down what she needed.  Once I had the list I went to the barn to get the horse and saw Maggie feeding them.  I knew that I should probably not go alone, but after what happened and with the barn I wasn’t sure Maggie was the right choice.

I told her nonchalantly that I was headed into town and needed to barrow a horse, she offered to go with me, I wanted to refuse but then thought maybe we needed to discuss what had happened and I needed to make it clear that it would never happen again so I agreed.

We got the horses saddled up and started the slow trot to the drug store.  “You didn’t have to come.”  I told her, I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t actually wanted her to come.  “You could hate me from a distance.”  I could tell that she was still not happy with me, but I didn’t get it, if anyone had a right to hate someone it was me, after all she kissed me after I told her about being with Daryl, and yet that didn’t stop her from trying.

She wasn’t speaking to me, why was I trying to start up a conversation, why did I care what she had to say, I’m too much of a nice guy to really hate her, that’s the problem.  I really should take a page in Daryl’s book, he’s not so forgiving and that’s what scared me, he trusted me and I broke that trust.  “Please say something.”  I was tired of the anger I could feel rolling off of her.

For several more minutes there was just tense silence between us, I started to try again.  “Maggie, I—” She interrupted with clear anger in her voice.

“I asked for your trust and you betrayed it.  Now my dad’s pissed at me.  Your turn.”  She told me as she went back to her silent rage.  What about me, what about her betrayal when she kissed me, Maggie, back then was selfish, she really didn’t think much about others, just what she wanted and what she could get away with.  It made for a very rocky start in our friendship.

I didn’t want to get into the conversation about the kiss, instead I asked.  “So your dad thinks they’re sick?  You agree with that, even after what you saw at the well?”

“I’m not sure what I saw at the well.”  She said trying to deny it.

“Yes, you are.”  I told her as we stopped the horses outside the drug store again.  We both got off tying the reigns.  “Look, if you’d seen Atlanta, you would not have a barn full of walkers.”  I told her, she was angry at that term.

“I wish you’d stop calling them that.”  There was venom in her words.

“What do you call them?”  I asked.

“Mom, Shawn, Mr. and Mrs. Fischer, Lacey, Duncan.”  She finished tying off her reigns and went into the drug store as I slowly tied up mine.  I had no words for that, after a while I stopped thinking of them as people; I’m not sure when it happened, but it happened.  All I knew was that I had to survive, for Daryl, for myself, for the baby growing in my stomach; I didn’t have the luxury to think of them as sick.  I had to take care of my family, and that didn’t include a barn full of walkers.

I was looking at the list as I stood in the feminine care section when Maggie asked as she walked by me.  “What does she want now?”  I had told her that Lori needed some things at the stables.

“I can’t say.”  I informed her, it wasn’t my secret to tell; I already blabbed to Dale I just couldn’t tell anyone else.

She turned back and looked at me.  “So when one of them asks you to keep your mouth shut…”  I looked at her and handed a piece of folded up paper that had what Lori needed on it, she shut up at that.

“Crawl out of my butt and help me look, please.”  She looked at the list, and huffed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”  She walked away; she went around the counter to the back of the pharmacy for the items, as she grabbed a blue basket setting it down then looking.  I grabbed the hair products Lori asked for, and I checked finding some pain killers for Daryl, when I’d left him he was in pain, hiding it, but I could still tell.

I suddenly heard Maggie start screaming my name; I moved and saw a walker had her by the arm.  “Maggie!”  I had to help her.

“Glenn, help me!”  She cried.  There were two shelving units between Maggie and the walker as she was fighting to get her arm out of its grasp.  “Help!  Glenn!”  She screamed again, I didn’t have a weapon on me, so I grabbed a shelf from one of the units.  It had let go and she’d moved to run but it walked around the unit and grabbed at her again, she was screaming and fighting it.  I jumped onto the counter and swung the shelf in my hands hitting it in the head knocking it against the shelving unit next to it as blood went flying and it fell to the ground letting Maggie go.

I got off the counter and grabbed her arms as she was crying, I asked hurriedly.  “Did it get you?  Did it bite you?”  She shook her head as she started to cry, I pulled her into a hug and she hung on as if her life depended on it.  I think Maggie learned an important lesson that day about walkers, they weren’t just sick, they were dangerous and they don’t care.

She pulled away as she cried my name, I looked behind her at the nearly decapitated walker that had managed to get up, clearly I didn’t hit his head hard enough, but his neck was obviously destroyed as it was barely hanging on.  I pulled out my machete with the nice hook on the other side and used said hook to pierce the walker’s brain.  It fell again but was still moving its mouth and groaning.  I continued to stab it grunting and groaning until it stopped moving.

I stood back up and moved away from it, I turned to Maggie and hugged her again as she cried.  After several minutes we pulled away and grabbed what we needed before getting back on the horses and started for the farm.  I wanted to feel Daryl’s arms around me so bad, that had been close.  The thing was while it was groaning with its head nearly off it hadn’t tried to attack me, though it could be ‘cause I didn’t give it the chance.  I was seeing a pattern though, anytime I’m scared or upset walkers ignore me, though the only way to really know for sure, was to get up close and personal with another walker and there was no way I was taking that risk.

It was a silent ride again, this time I didn’t try to talk to Maggie we were both upset.  As we got to the farm we put the horses away then headed for camp, Maggie was clearly upset as she saw Lori and with bag in hand yelled at her as all that fear from earlier turned into anger.

“Hey!  We got your stuff.”  She yelled as she slammed the gate behind her.

“Maggie, hang on, please.”  I said trying to calm her down as I ran to catch up to her, Lori had been folding clothes and looked at us, then around to make sure no one was around, they weren’t it was only us.

“Come on in here.” Lori said as she turned to go into her tent.

“Why?  Nothing to hide, we got your special delivery right here.”  Maggie said stopping her as she reached into the bag and pulled out the items as she threw them on the ground.  “We got your lotion, got your conditioner, your soap opera digest.”

“Maggie.”  Lori said, Maggie cut her off.

“Next time you want something, get it your damn self.  We’re not your errand boys.”

“Honey, I—” She looked at a small packet of pills on the ground.  Maggie grabbed them and threw them at Lori.

“And here’s your abortion pills.”  She spat at her, my mouth went dry.  I had no idea what those were.  But I just couldn’t believe that Lori would want that, as an expectant, “mother” myself I was shocked.  Maggie walked away then, I looked at Lori tears in my eyes; I knew it was the hormones, but it really hurt when she’d sent me to get something to kill her baby.  I thought she actually needed something to make being pregnant easier, not to terminate it, my respect for Lori died that day.

I picked up the pills I got for Daryl and walked away not wanting to see her or be anywhere near her at that moment.  I followed Maggie to talk to her, about what had just happened, I wiped my eyes not wanting Maggie to catch on that something’s not right with me.  I haven’t figured out yet how I’m going to explain my current situation to her in a way that she will believe, or understand.

“That was not cool.”  I told her as I walked up to her cap in hand.

“Which part?  The part where that bitch almost got us killed?”  She asked still angry as she turned her back on me with her arms crossed.

“I should’ve gone alone.  If you want to blame anybody, blame me.”  Though I never asked her to come along, she volunteered and now she wanted to blame everybody but herself.  I quickly learned that Maggie wasn’t good at laying blame at her own feet, but she was quick to snap judgment on others so easily.

“Right, take the blame.  You know, for a smart guy, you’re really stupid.”  Yeah, if I’d been so smart I would never have gotten into a situation where I let Maggie kiss me.

“Okay, I’m confused, because I think you just paid me a compliment but you made it s—” She walked up to me and kissed me again.  I pushed her away.  “No, we’re not doing this, I am dating Daryl, I love Daryl, and you will just have to deal with that.”  I turned to walk away.

“Glenn I’m sorry.  I just.”  I stopped when she didn’t continue.  “I’ve already lost three of the people that I care about most in this world.  I like you Glenn; I’m just confused why you don’t like me like that.  I know your attracted me, I know last night when we kissed you liked it, why him.  What’s so special about him?”  Maggie asked completely confused.

I turned on her.  “Cause I love him, he gives me looks when he thinks I don’t see, he touches me in a way no one has in a long time, he loves me.”  I told her without hesitation or reserve.

“How do you know, I’ve never heard him say it, he’s so caught up in finding this little girl how would you know.”

“He doesn’t have to say it, through his actions I know, and last night kissing you was a betrayal of his trust.  Kiss me again and we’re done, I will never be your friend, so just back off, I have to deal with something right now and they don’t involve you.”  I should’ve told her then I was pregnant, but everything was to raw right now to have that conversation.  Maggie ran up to me and stopped my movement.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.  I just, I see you, the others they don’t, and they choose to ignore who you really are.  You’re smart, you’re brave; you’re a leader.  But you don’t know it, and your friends don’t want to know it.  They’d rather have you fetching peaches.”  She didn’t understand that they’re also trying to keep me and my unborn child alive.  “There’s a dead guy in the well?  Send Glenn down.  You’re walker bait.  If Daryl loved you so much he’d see that and wouldn’t let it happen.”  I smirked remembering what he’d told us about that incident, she doesn’t know though; she’s been miss reading all the signs, that’s so obvious now.  “I can’t take you becoming one of them.”  She walked off then after saying her peace.

She didn’t understand, she had no idea and I didn’t think explaining it to her then would help, so I let her go, I had to see how Daryl was doing anyways.  I helped him take one of the pills and he went to sleep, I kissed him before I went to check on Lori.  She was sitting in her tent her hands clasped together and resting against her forehead, elbows on the small table in there.

“The blood on Maggie’s shirt—” She started when she looked at me.

“She was attacked.”  I explained.

“Are you guys all right?  How bad was it?”  She asked as she rested her arms on the table as she waited for the answers.  I ducked and walked into the tent, a battle of those prenatal vitamins in my hands.

“It was pretty close.”  I told her.

“I’m so sorry.”  She said looking up at me from where she was sitting; I could see how sincere she was.  “I should never have asked you to go.”  She shook her head as she looked away.

“I offered.”  I told her, I knew I could handle myself.

“I thought the town was safe, but if you hadn’t come back—” I cut her off not wanting her to beat herself up over this.

“But we did, I always do.”  She rubbed the tears on her face; I looked at the pill packets in her hands.  “The morning-after pills—will they even work?”  I asked.

“I don’t know.  And I don’t know if I want them to.”  She said; it was clear she didn’t know what she wanted to do just yet about anything.

“I got these too, just in case.”  I hadn’t seen the prenatal vitamins on her list, I picked them up anyways knowing that we couldn’t both share the one bottle I got, and it wouldn’t last if we did that.  It was still wrapped in a small white bag as I placed it on the table.  Lori took the bottle out of the bag and smiled.

“Prenatal vitamins.  That’s a hell of a choice.”  Lori said.

“Lori, we’re friends aren’t we?”  I asked.

“With everything we’ve been through—yeah.”

“I can’t tell you what to do.  I could never tell you something like that.  But one expectant mother to another, your choice, maybe you shouldn’t make it alone.”  I ducked out then having said my peace and now the rest was up to her and whether or not she’d tell Rick.  I hadn’t been sure about this baby either, but when Daryl accepted the responsibility and continued our relationship I knew that we could do this, that I was going to have this baby.  Though now, once he finds out I cheated on him, he may not want anything to do with me or the baby and that would break my heart.  And unlike Lori, I had to tell Daryl before I racked up any more guilt, just not today, there’s still the barn situation, and Lori, Sophia being missing and everything was screwed to hell.

I got as far as the picnic bench when I crumpled there and cried, I cried and cried, tears falling down my face, my body shaking from sobs as I tried to get control of myself.  Daryl was passed out so I know he wouldn’t hear me, and the others were busy or not there.  After several minutes I calmed and stood back up and took a walk, I needed time to be on my own, to figure things out, I was no better than Lori, and I hated myself for thinking that.

The rest of the day was a blur, we ate, we slept and the next morning Dale told me I had to tell the rest of the group about the walkers in the barn, it had to be me ‘cause I’m the one that found them.  Daryl was feeling better, and as I was changing I noticed that my nipples were a little darker than normal, not to mention tender, and I just wanted to die and Daryl snickered on his way out the tent for breakfast.  It wasn’t a mean laugh, just a slight chuckle at my expense, I hated being pregnant.  No real fire in those thoughts as I left the tent to try and eat before I gave everyone the news that the Farm’s not as safe, _as we all thought_.


	7. Pretty Much Dead Already

Pretty Much Dead Already

Rick's POV

 

It was the morning after I found out Lori was pregnant and everything seemed normal, Carol was cooking eggs over the fire, Andrea was sitting and using a wet stone to sharpen her knife, Shane was eating along with my family, I was still reeling from everything I found out yesterday so I wasn’t that hungry.  Lori noticed my mood; she put her hand along the back of my neck.  “Hey.”  She said softly as she kissed my cheek.  “Where’d you go?”  Lori asked, I looked at her.

“I’m here.”  I looked away and saw Glenn sitting next to a tree, he wasn’t eating; he looked over where Maggie was standing on the porch of the house.  Carol passed us and put the eggs she’d been cooking on Daryl’s plate who was sitting on one of the camp chairs while T-Dog was next to him where the fire was working on the meat we had the pleasure of eating.

“Short stop come eat.”  Daryl said, Glenn looked at him, then to Dale who nodded, it was odd, something was up I just knew it.  Daryl noticed it as well; Glenn stood and walked over to him.  Daryl held out his plate for Glenn but he just shook his head.  He kissed Daryl’s cheek then walked to one over by one of the tents so that he could face all of us.  Daryl took a bite of eggs before Glenn spoke.

“Um, guys.”  He rubbed a hand over his chin as we were listening.  “So…The barn is full of walkers.”  That got our attention, everyone looked at him, as everything stopped, no one was eating, or drinking, all motion had frozen and the only thing going through my head was how could Hershel keep this from us.  Daryl stood and walked over to him.

“How do you know this?”  Daryl asked as he put his hand on Glenn’s arm.   Glenn explained how he went up in the loft to be alone, secluded with his thoughts while Daryl was healing, and found them.  That was all I needed, though Daryl seemed to think there was more to this story, I saw it in his eyes, and the fact that Glenn couldn’t look Daryl in said eyes.

I stood then and headed over to the barn, the rest followed, as we got there Shane took point and got up to the door and looked through the crack, there were growls coming from inside and Daryl nodded as he heard them plan as day.  I asked. “How’d you not hear them before?”

“I don’t know, I just didn’t, between looking for Sophia and getting injured I guess my hearing wasn’t searching out walkers on the farm.”  Daryl snapped.

Shane walked to me where I was standing with the others around.  “You cannot tell me you’re all right with this.”  Shane said.

“No I’m not, but we’re guests here this isn’t our land.”  I told him as he brushed passed me clearly upset.

“This is our lives!” Shane shouted as he turned to me and put his cap on.

“Lower your voice.”  Glenn pleaded from my right; Daryl had a hand on Glenn’s lower back.

“We can’t just sweep this under the rug.”  Andrea said from my left.

“It ain’t right, not remotely.”  Shane said from behind, I looked at him for a second then faced the barn again as Shane continued to walk as the anger built up, he needed to do something with it, I was pretty sure part of it his anger was from fear.

“Okay, we’ve either got to go in there, we’ve got to make things right, or we’ve just got to go.  Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time.”

“We can’t go.”  I told him forcefully as we faced each other.

“Why , Rick?  Why?”  Shane asked.

“Because my daughter is still out there.”  Carol said from her position next to Andrea.

“Okay.”  Shane said exasperated as he rubbed his hand over his face.  “Okay, I think it’s time that we all start to just consider the other possibility.”

“We’re not leaving Sophia behind.”  I told him; it was that easy, until we knew for sure what had happened to her we weren’t leaving.  Daryl walked over so he could face Shane.

“I’m close to finding this girl.  I just found her damn doll two days ago.”  Daryl told him.

“You found her doll, Daryl.  That’s what you did, you found a doll.”  Shane spat back his voice rising.

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”  Daryl told him angrily.  I put my arm out stopping Daryl’s forward momentum so this wouldn’t turn into a brawl.

“I’m just saying what needs to be said.  You get a good lead; it’s in the first forty-eight hours.”  Shane explained.

“Shane, stop.”  I told him, he didn’t listen.

“Let me tell you something else man, if she was alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction.”  He pointed off to prove his point.  Daryl started yelling at him, and I put my hands between them to keep this from getting out of hand.

The girls and Glenn started to move as well, I was between them, Shane and Daryl shouting at each other, the rest shouting to get them to stop.  Finally with Andrea, Glenn and Lori’s help we got them separated but it wasn’t easy with Shane’s strength fighting at mine.

I finally got Shane back with a firm push and Lori’s help as I told him.  “Back off!”

“Keep your hands off me.”  Shane spat at Lori, he started to walk away.

“Now, just let me talk to Hershel.  Let me figure it out.”  That pissed him off.

“What are you gonna figure out?!”  Shane screamed as he came back at me.  Lori grabbed his chest to stop him, he relented as I turned and faced him.

“If we’re gonna stay, if we’re gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it, this is his land.”  I explained pointing towards the farm house.

Dale spoke up then as he walked closer to me, I was still looking at Shane.  “Hershel, sees those things in there as people—sick people—his wife, his stepson.”  We all looked at him.

“You knew?”  I asked incredulously.

“Yesterday I talked to Hershel.”

“And you waited the night?”  Shane asked anger in his voice.

“I thought we could survive one more night.  We did.”  Dale told him.  “I was waiting till this morning to say something.  But Glenn wanted to be the one.”  Dale explained, though I’m not sure that was true.

“The man is crazy, Rick, if Hershel thinks those things are alive or not.”

“That’s enough.”  I shouted at Shane to get him to stop.  The walkers started growling and pushing at the doors.  The girls, Glenn, T-Dog and Carl all jumped back in fear.  Glenn, T-Dog and Carl started back to camp afraid that those walkers might get out, I didn’t blame them.  Daryl was pissed, Shane was angry, and I was confused at this whole situation, and if I didn’t get it under control and figure out how to solve this probably it would become explosive.

The fight at the moment was over, we all left, Lori, Dale and Carol went back to camp as well, Shane stayed at the barn and tested the chains and padlocks on the door, with his strength in check of course, and as for myself I headed to the farm house to discuss the situation with Hershel and try and work this whole thing out.  Before I went to speak to Hershel though I talked to Dale and got all the information I needed on what went down between him and Hershel yesterday.  Then I headed to the farm house.

I walked up the porch, and knocked on the door, I didn’t want to be rude and just barge in; it wasn’t my house.  “Come on in.”  Hershel called.  I opened the door, closed it behind me, Hershel was sitting at the dining room table eating lunch and reading the Bible.  I walked through the foyer and living area and stopped next to him.

“A little light reading for lunch?”  I asked of his choice of reading material.  I wasn’t a believing man, but I knew Hershel was.

“Been working so hard lately I get my studying where I can.”  Hershel informed me.

I put my hands on the chair in front of me as I spoke.  “You know we can help you out with your work.”

“It’s my field to tend.”  Hershel turned me down again, he was a stubborn man; he finally looked at me for just a second.  He put another peach in his mouth and went back to reading. 

“We found the barn.”  I informed him, getting straight to the point of my being there.  What more needed to be said; he knew exactly what I meant by that statement.

“Leave it be.”  Hershel was trying to cut the conversation off, I wouldn’t let him.

“Well, I’d like to talk about it, but either way—your barn, your farm, your say.”

“I don’t want to talk about the barn, I don’t want to debate.”  He gave me his attention again for a short period of time.

“Not a debate, a discussion.”  He finally stopped reading and leaned back in his chair giving me his full attention.  He wiped his mouth and swallowed his peach before he spoke, he was angry, and his patients had obviously been worn thin.

“I need you and your group gone by the end of the week.”  And that was it that was his attention as he sipped his juice from the wine glass and got back to reading the bible.

“I talked to Dale.”  While he considered the matter closed, I didn’t.  “You and I have our differences with the way we look at the walkers.  Those people, they may be dead, they may be alive.  But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you.”  I motioned to myself then the floor to emphasize my point.  I leaned closer as I continued.  “You send us out there and that could change.”

“I’ve given you safe harbor.  My conscience is clear.”  He took another sip of his drink and all I could think about was Lori, Glenn both being pregnant and needing the safety this farm provided. I pulled out the chair I’d been leaning against and sat down to be on his level.

“This farm—this farm is special.  You’ve been shielded from what’s been going on out there.  Dale said you saw everything happen on the news.  Well, it’s been—it’s been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling.”  He wanted to ignore it and bury his head in the sand as he stood with his plate and glass in hand and started to walk to the kitchen, I followed as I continued.  “The first time I saw a walker it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground.  My inclination wasn’t to kill it.  But what the world is out there isn’t what you saw on TV.”  He stopped at the sink placing his dishes there.

“It is much, much worse and it changes you.”  I told him as I got into his personal space.  “Either into one of them or something a lot less than the person you were.  Please do not—do not send us out there again.”  I begged him, for my family, for my group.   He didn’t speak; I walked a few feet away from him as he looked into the sink.  I had one last play to make to get him to see reason, after that, I didn’t know what we’d do.

I turned to him and said.  “My wife’s pregnant.”  I didn’t tell him about Glenn, I wasn’t sure if he’d believe me.  That was something we had to be careful about, something that could come up after this situation with the barn and our position on this farm was settled.  He finally moved and turned to face me, I pressed on.  “That’s either a gift here or a death sentence out there.  If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place.  We can survive together.”  I had moved a couple of paces closer to him.

“Rick, I’m telling you we can’t.”  I didn’t understand why not, what was his reasoning.

“You think about what you’re doing.”

“I’ve thought about it.”

“Think about it.”

“I’ve thought about it!”  Hershel shouted in anger.

“Think about it again, we can’t go out there.”  That was it, I walked away.  And right out the back door, I had seen Maggie standing there out of the corner of my eye, but I had said my peace there was nothing else I could do.

I headed back to the barn, I saw Shane leaning against one of the tractors as he was watching the barn.  I knew what he was doing, keeping guard; I hated the news I had to give him.  I looked back at the house after I stopped next to him; I was frustrated to say the least.

“What’s it gonna be, man?”  Shane asked me.  “Which way does this thing go?”

“I don’t know yet.”  I told him, ‘cause I was clueless on what to do.

“Well, what did he say?”

“We’re negotiating.”

“You’re nego—” Shane muttered then spoke up.  “Clock’s ticking, Rick.”  He told me.

“No it isn’t, Shane.”  I turned to face him head on.  “That barn—the barn is secure.  We didn’t even know about it till this morning.”

“We didn’t.  Well, we know about it now.  And what the hell, man, Daryl should’ve heard them in there, but no instead he was out looking for Sophia and nearly getting himself killed, otherwise we would’ve known about it the first day here.”  I didn’t speak; I had nothing to say on that topic.  “Right.  We know there’s over a dozen walkers in there.  We know that it’s about a stone’s throw from out camp Rick—where we sleep.”  Shane turned to face me putting his elbow on the back end of the tractor he’d been resting against.

Shane continued.  “So look, if we’re not gonna go in there and clear it out then we just got to go.”  That’s when I did speak up.

“We’re not gonna clear it out and we’re not gonna go.”

“We at least need our guns.”  Shane suggested.

“We can’t have them, not here.”  Shane looked at the ground for a moment.

“Why do you want to stay here when it’s not safe?  Rick I-I—”

“We can make it safe.”  I told him calmly to keep this from being another shouting contest and getting nowhere like this morning.

“How we gonna do that?”

“We will, okay?”  I kept repeating that as he pressed on for answers.

“How we gonna make it safe?”

“We will, okay?”

“No, man it’s not okay!”  He slammed his palm on the tractor and that’s when I told him.

“Shane, Lori’s pregnant.”  I knew Shane didn’t care about Glenn’s condition, Shane’s never been much for gays and a man being pregnant is out of his league, but Lori, someone he cared about and protected while I was unable to.  Well, then that’s different.  It had worked; he stopped fighting me and stood there shocked.

“We need to stay.”

“We need our guns.”  Shane said, still a little out of it from the news I’d just given him.

“No, I can work this out.”  I told him, I would get this fixed and we’d all stay here, and Lori and Glenn will have their baby’s right here.

I turned and started to walk away, I stopped for a second as Shane asked.  “You good?”  I craned my neck to look back at him.  He was still leaning on the back end of that tractor.

“Yeah.”  Then he smiled.

“Lori’s having a baby, man.”  He nodded.  “Congratulations.”  It felt good to hear him say that, but a part of me didn’t really believe he meant it.  I continued to walk off, back towards camp to get Andrea and continue the hunt for Sophia.

“Thank you.”  I called at him not looking back, as Shane went right on guarding the barn.

I whistled to Andrea who stood from the picnic bench she’d been sitting at with the map and followed me to the green V.W bug and placed the map down to figure out our plan of action.  She handed me my gun she’d gotten while I’d been busy with Hershel and Shane.  I put it on, then started telling Andrea the different possible areas to search when Hershel headed down to us and interrupted.

“…Also shows she could be moving this way south.  If Sophia kept in that direction, she might have gotten out of the forest and into the farmland.  So we take seventy-fourth up to Ivy Road, then push down south on foot through the forest till we hit Christopher, go east a couple of miles and then double back.”

“Rick.”  Hershel called behind me.

“Hershel.”  I said surprised, I turned around and saw him walking up to me; he was rolling of his sleeves.  “We just have our guns out because we’re gonna go look for Sophia.”  I explained.

“Before you do that, I could use your help with something.”

“Count me in.”  Andrea said all eager to be of assistance.

“Thank you, but I just need Rick.”  Hershel told her.

“I’ll be down at the barn keeping watch until you’re ready.”  Andrea informed me as she grabbed her gun off the hood of the car and put it in the back of her pants.  As she removed the rocks we’d been using to keep the map from flying away and rolling it up, I followed Hershel.

As we got to the woods I saw Jimmy waiting, he had two long poles in his hand; those were used to catch horses, cattle, wild dogs usually by the pound, so it wasn’t surprising to see them on a farm.  But I had a bad feeling about what we were about to do when I saw them, I didn’t say anything as we headed into the woods.

Jimmy was leading the way, and as we got closer to our destination Hershel started to explain.  “The silt on the bottom is like glue.  You just sink in.”  I heard it, the growling and groaning, we walked around the tree, Jimmy and Hershel saw it first.  “That’s Lou Bush.”  I turned my head and looked at the walker, but there were too many trees in the way to get a good look.

“You knew him?”  I asked, I was quick on the up take of what we were about to do, I hoped this meant he was going to let my group stay on his farm.

“Lou as in Louise.”  Hershel clarified.  “She has a farm up the road.”  I finally saw her, and another one with her stuck in the mud at the bottom of the creek.  Hershel continued to tell me about her as we got closer.  “Sweet corn mostly.  Worked at Harman’s bar on weekends.  The man, I don’t know him, but the coveralls, I’ve been to where he worked.  How many have you killed?”  Hershel asked then.

“Too many to count.”  I told him.

“Can you stop?”  He looked at me as we came to a halt in front of the walkers, they were trying to get at us but unable to get their feet out of the water.  I didn’t answer his question, ‘cause the truth was when it came down to protecting my family, my group, no, I would kill them all.

“There are people out there who haven’t been in their right minds; people who I believe can be restored.”  Hershel told me, Jimmy handed him one of the long poles.

“You’re not talking about the walkers, are you?”  I asked.

“It doesn’t matter if you see them as human beings anymore.  But if you and your people are going to stay here, that’s how you’re gonna have to treat them.  My farm, my barn, my say.”  At each point he motioned to the ground to run the rules home.  I understood and for the safety of this farm I would obey his rules until the time came for use to take action against the walkers in the barn.  He held out the long pole for me, and I took it from him.  It was how I showed I was willing to do whatever he wanted so my family and friends could stay on the farm.  So Lori and Glenn could have a roof over their heads when it was time for them to give birth, nothing more needed to be said.

Hershel got his long pole noose around the woman and started to pull as she slipped free and tried to bite at him, he got on her dry ground while Jimmy and I got the man.  I was restraining my strength not wanting to snap the long pole or rip the walker any, I didn’t think Hershel would appreciate that.  “Otis said if you get them halfway out they’ll do the rest of the work.”  Jimmy informed us.

I was struggling to keep my strength in check as I kept a grip on the long pole behind Jimmy.  “How many times did he do this?”  I asked as I looked at where Hershel was struggle with his walker.

“If one wandered onto the property, Otis would get them into the barn.  Now we have to.”  Hershel told me as he was keeping the walker from grabbing him as it was trying to do.

“What happens when the barn gets full?”  I asked then cried in surprise as I slipped on the muddy bank of the creek and fell to my knees letting the long pole go.  Jimmy fell back then as well, the walker came free and started to grab at Jimmy’s legs.

“Get the pole!”  He screamed.  I grabbed the pole again and he scrambled away.

“Jimmy, Jimmy, you got it.”  Hershel called to the kid as he got up on the bank and I held the walker in place.  “Easy, easy Rick, lead him.”  Hershel instructed as I was trying not to break the pole as I was keeping the walker at bay.  Jimmy got to Hershel.  “Jimmy will spot for us.”  Meaning he’d lead and watch out for any more walkers.

“Lead him, lead him, Rick.  You’re the carrot, not the stick.”  I looked at him confused as Hershel was backing up with the woman biting after him.  “You heard me, just lead him.  He’ll come to you.”

“You told me, he handled them easily.  This is easy?”  I asked as I got my walker to get in front of me as I followed Hershel’s lead, then got started back to the farm, pushing him ever so gently with the noose around its neck.

“It’s easier than some things.”

“Come on, come on, over here.”  Jimmy called from up ahead playing bait to the walkes, it was going to be a long slow trek back to that barn.

We saw the barn as we came out of the woods, Jimmy still in the lead as he was clapping his hands and egging on the walkers, Hershel and I had our walkers in front of us and pushing them to get to the barn.  I had no idea what would happen in the next few moments, but that explosion I had feared, had arrived while I’d been gone.

I looked to the left, I saw Shane and everyone else running towards us, I faced forward as we were almost to the barn.  Shane got to the gate and threw it open, the walkers biting and grabbing at the long poles and trying to get at us as Jimmy was still leading them onward.

“What the hell are you doing?!”  Shane called as he was almost on us.

“Shane, just back off.”  I ordered.

“Why do your people have guns?”  Hershel asked, I had no idea, I had told them no guns, but clearly this situation was about to get out of hand fast.

“Are you kidding me?  You see?”  Shane shouted as he pointed at the walkers we had on leashes.  “You see what they’re holding onto?”  Shane circled Hershel as the rest had caught up and were standing there watching, I noticed some differences in two members of my group. Glenn had red rimmed eyes as if he’d been crying for a while and Daryl was keeping his distance, something must’ve happened between them and I had no idea what.

“I see who I’m holding onto.”  Hershel told Shane as he continued to push Lou to the barn.

“No, man, you don’t.”  Shane spat.

“Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk.”  I told him, I wished they’d all just back off and let us get this over with, Daryl had his shot gun trained on the walker I had.

“What you want to talk about, Rick?”  Shane asked.  “These things ain’t sick, they’re not people, they’re dead.  Ain’t gonna feel nothing for them ‘cause all they do, is kill!”  Shane shouted.  “These things right here, they’re the things that killed Amy.  They killed Otis, they’re gonna kill all of us.”  Andrea had tears in her eyes, and Lori and Carl were just getting to us as Carl couldn’t run as fast at the moment due to him still healing.

“Shane, shut up!”  I’d had enough of his shouting, I was getting a headache and I’d had enough of Shane at the moment.

Shane walked in front of us as he spoke in a calmer voice.  “Hey, Hershel, man let me ask you something.  Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?”  Shane pulled his pistol out, cocked it and fired three shots in Lou’s chest.  Everyone screamed as they backed up, Maggie had her head in her hands; Glenn had a tighter hold of his shot gun as everyone was either shocked or scared.

Hershel saw Lou as she continued to try and bite at us.  “NO!  Stop it!”  I screamed at him.

“That’s three rounds in the chest.  Could someone who is alive, could they just take that?!”  Shane shouted at Hershel.  “Why is it still coming?”  Shane raised his gun and fired again.  “That’s its heart, its lungs.  Why is it still coming?”  Hershel was frozen as he watched in shock, I don’t think it ever registered with him ‘cause he never really saw them get shot like that up close before.

Shane fired a few more shots at her.  “Shane, enough!”  I shouted at him, my temper there and showing its self.

“Yeah, you’re right, man.  That is enough.”  Shane took the few paces to close the distance between himself and the walker and shot her point blank in the forehead.  She fell and Hershel followed her down onto her knees.  Jimmy put his hands on his head; Lori wrapped her arms around Carl tighter.  Andrea was shocked at this display Shane had shown.  Patricia had her hand on her heart as she too was both shocked and scared.  T-Dog had his gun down at his side, Carol had her hand on her mouth, Daryl was still aiming at the walker I had, Glenn had his shotgun pointed at the ground and Maggie got down next to Hershel and held his hand as Shane continued.

“Enough, risking out lives for a little girl who’s gone!”  Carol gasped at that.  “Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us.  Enough.  Rick, it ain’t like it was before!”  I had no reply to that, he went on.  “Now if y’all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it!  I’m talking about fighting right here, right now.”  Shane turned and ran for the barn, I had to stop him.

“Take the snare pole.   Hershel, Hershel take the snare pole.”  I called at him, he wouldn’t move, it was like he was in shock.  “Hershel, listen to me, man, please.  Take it now.  Hershel!  Take it!”  He wouldn’t do it, he just sat there on his hunch’s frozen at what had just taken place, and it was about to get worse.

Shane pulled at the lock and oddly enough it didn’t break like it should’ve.  Shane was confused as well.  He took a deep breath, then grabbed the lock again and pulled it slowly; it started to rip out of the door.  Then he snapped the chain, though that to took a few minutes.  All the while I was begging at him to stop.  “No, Shane.  Do not do this brother, wait!”

“Don’t do it!”  Glenn begged.

“Rick!”  Lori called to me.

“Please!”  I pleaded one last time as he finally snapped the chain and then lifted the bored from where it had kept the door closed; he threw it to the side.

Shane started pounding on the door to get their attention.  “Come on, come on, we’re out here.”  Shane started to back away as he pulled his pistol out again.

“This is not the way!”  I told him.  “Please!”

Maggie was crying for him to stop from where she was, next to Hershel with her arm around him.  “Get behind me.”  Lori instructed as she pushed Carl behind her to protect him.  We waited, and for a few seconds, nothing, then like a tidal wave they started to exit the barn.

Andrea ran up next to Shane and aimed her gun as well; I still had a hold of the long pole keeping the walker where he was.  Shane started shooting and everyone moved; Daryl moved forward along with T-Dog as they both started shooting the walkers coming out of the barn.  Not all shots hit the head, but they all went down.  Glenn was hesitant to do anything but he looked at Daryl and obviously made up his mind.  He raced forward and started shooting next to Daryl; they shared a look and then continued firing together.

Maggie was crying as she turned her head with her eyes closed hands still on her father’s shoulders.  Shane turned around and looked at me, then at the walker on the long pole and shot him, I let the pole go once the walker dropped.

Lori and Carl ran up to me them, I turned to them and motioned for the ground, they got down behind me as the rain of bullets continued.  I told them to stay back as Lori kept her arms tight around our son as they sat on the ground.  They had formed a line and were mowing them down one after the other.  I told them to stop, they wouldn’t listen, and I didn’t blame them.  There was nothing any of us could do but watch.

There were dozens of them, at the time it felt never ending as a couple more stragglers came out and got shot down with the rest.  Finally everyone lowered their guns, as it seemed they were empty, and the walkers were finished.  Though that wasn’t true, there was one more, and it surprised us all.

Shane looked back at me then, now that it had been finished and there was anger in his eyes.  Now that it was over, I was sure Hershel was going to kick us off his land and frankly I would’ve done the same thing.

Dale finally arrived, he was shocked by this as Beth was crying against Jimmy who was holding her, and Patricia was too shocked to form an emotion as was Hershel, Maggie was crying.  The rest of us were calming from the adrenalin when we heard another growl from the barn.  Daryl reaffirmed his hold on his shot gun as the walker started to come out of the barn.

It was a little girl, and not just any little girl, the walker was Sophia.  Carol started sobbing while everyone else was frozen in place.  “Sophia?  Sophia!”  Carol called as she ran for her little girl.  Daryl grabbed her as he dropped his shot gun and they fell to the ground as she continued to call for her daughter, even tried to reach out for her.

She stood there for a moment growling and snarling at us, there was a bite mark on her left shoulder, her clothes were filthy, it was clear that while we’d been looking for her, she’d been in there this whole fuckin’ time.  Carl started to cry against Lori as she held him close to shocked to form an emotion.

She walked through the massacre that had been the walkers in the barn.  Her growling grew louder as she got closer to us.  Carol continued to sob as Daryl adjusted his hold on her.  “Sophia.”  She called softly.  Hershel shook his head as he realized the reason we’d been here in the first place had been in his barn.

Shane looked down at the ground, Andrea couldn’t take her eyes off Sophia and Lori had finally joined Carl in crying.  Glenn was frozen as he too started to cry, though it seemed he’d already been doing plenty of that, that day.  Maggie turned around unable to continue to watch this any longer.  “Don’t watch.”  Lori told Carl as she covered his eyes.

As for myself, there was only one thing I could do for her, the little girl I had failed to protect.  I walked towards her, passed Andrea and Shane, as I got closer I pulled out my pistol and aimed.  I hesitated for a moment as she reached out for me, I wanted to say sorry, to convey how truly sorry I was for what happened to her.  I finally pulled the trigger; the shot was especially loud as it rang out while she collapsed.  Carol wailed against the ground, leaving all of us to hear and feel her pain, it was barely afternoon, and this day was far from over yet.  But at least the search was finished, it had come to a tragic conclusion, one that we won’t ever forget, for a long time come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To find out what happened between Daryl and Glenn, and to Shane's strength at the barn scene keep an eye out for the next chapter of the Missing Scenes to this chapter. And please comment, it keeps me going. As we're at the half way point for this story, from now until the end you may ask questions about the up coming season and the story for the missing scenes between seasons 2 and 3. I will try to answer them without giving to many spoilers but if I can't, I will let you know so you can ask another question. I may leave out some details so you don't know to much but hopefully give you enough to keep on reading. Enjoy, and thanks for reading, for all the comments and kudos, you all have been fantastic.


	8. Nebraska

Nebraska

Glenn's POV

 

Rick lowered his gun, having just shot Sophia, Carol was sobbing in Daryl’s arms, a place I’ll probably never feel again.  Carl was crying in Lori’s arms, and T-Dog, Shane, Dale, and Andrea were just standing around looking at the carnage that had just taken place.  Hershel was on his knees with his hands over his mouth; Maggie was standing next to him with her right hand on his shoulder.  Beth was sobbing in Jimmy’s arms and Patricia was standing next to them shocked.

“Don’t look, don’t look.”  Daryl told Carol softly as he got her to her feet then he started to lead her away from the walkers, and her daughter.  She pushed away from him and ran off back to camp and the R.V.  Everyone was looking around at each other, at the chaos that had ensued a minute ago and no one was saying anything, what could we say.  I had my own tears running down my face and for an instant Daryl looked at me and all I wanted was to feel his arms around me, he didn’t move.

None of us did anything for several minutes as we looked at each other, the only sound was Beth’s sobs since Carol and run off.  Daryl was walking back to camp, I wanted to follow him, to talk to him but I knew that right now, I was sure, he needed some space.

Beth finally moved away from Jimmy and towards the walkers.  Rick reached out to grab her.  “Shh, wait.”  He said she pulled way and headed to what used to be a woman, before this virus.  She bent down to pull one of the walkers off of her.  She knelt on one knee as she grabbed the woman’s shoulder and rolled her over.

“Ma…”  She was cut off as the woman had only been grazed on the cheek; she reached up grabbing at Beth’s hair and arms.  Beth screamed, as her mom growled trying to bite her.

We all ran into action, Rick and Shane didn’t want to hurt her so they kept their strength in check as Rick grabbed Beth around the middle and Shane grabbed her arm.  I practically sat on top of the walker, as I grabbed her arms to get them off of Beth.  She was screaming and frankly I was terrified.  Rick and Shane were both shouting.  “Pull her away!”

Finally the walker released her and they pulled her away.  Maggie and Hershel had hands on Beth as well; T-Dog had just run up to help me.  My fear or whatever it was, was working in my favor as it was trying to bite at everyone but me.  Once they got Beth out of the way, T-Dog started kicking the back of its head, but it wasn’t going down.  I still had a hold of its arms as it was looking in Andrea’s direction biting at her.

Andrea picked up a sickle and ran at her, T-Dog got out of the way, she swung and the blade pierced her skull from the back and out her forehead.  Finally all was quite except for Beth’s crying.  Andrea pulled the sickle out and I let the things arms go.  I looked in Daryl’s direction to see him watching us from the distance having heard everything, he had a disapproving look on his face but he didn’t do anything but turn around and followed the path Carol had taken.

Jimmy moved to Beth who was still crying in Hershel’s arms, he obviously wanted to comfort her, but he was hesitant on how.  Finally with nothing left to say or do everyone started to walk away.  Hershel with Beth and Patricia on the other side of her headed back to the farm house along with Maggie.  Rick, Shane and I followed; I felt sick and thought that going to the bathroom to throw up was a great idea.   Jimmy, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Lori and Carl stayed at the barn with the walkers.

Shane couldn’t keep his mouth shut about what just happened.  “We’ve been out; we’ve been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along?”  He walked up closer as he stated to Hershel.  “You knew.”

“Leave us alone.”  Maggie told him, as she looked at him.

“Hey, Shane, just stop man.”  Rick said as he grabbed Shane’s arm.

Shane jerked away.  “Get your hands off me.”  Shane was angry, he had every right to be, but that didn’t give him a right to throw accusations around without all the facts.

“I—” Hershel started, Shane interrupted.

“You knew, and you kept it from us.”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s bullshit.  I think y’all knew.”

“We didn’t know!”  Maggie yelled at him as we were getting up to the back door.

“Why was she there?!”  Shane asked.

“Your—Otis put those people in the barn.”  Hershel said as he turned to face Shane while Patricia and Maggie walked up the back porch.  “Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed.”

“You expect me to believe that?  Do I look like an idiot?”  Shane asked as he started to close the distance between himself and Hershel.

Rick stepped in putting his hand on Shane’s chest to keep him back.  “Shane, hey.”  Rick said trying to get his attention.

The girls were watching from the back porch with the screen door open not moving as Hershel’s own temper rose while he continued to address Shane.  “I don’t care what you believe!”

“Everybody just calm down.”  Rick said with hands on both Shane and Hershel’s chest.

“Get him off my land!”  Hershel demanded.

“Please, no.”  Rick begged.

“Let me tell you something.”  Shane got in Hershel’s face.

“Hey, don’t touch him!”  Maggie screamed as she came down from the porch and slapped him.  As Shane backed off Maggie continued.  “Haven’t you done enough?”

She turned and went back to open the door, Patricia was holding Beth close as Hershel followed he had one last thing to say before disappearing into the farm house.  “I mean it—off my land.”  I didn’t have anything to say to either of them as I moved passed Rick and Shane and into the house.

Hershel looked at me but before I got the chance to say anything I ran into the nearest downstairs bathroom and threw up, it was a half bath, just a toilet and sink, it worked just fine.  I felt so sick, between the smell of all those walkers, and Daryl braking up with me, the emotional turmoil.  I sat in there for a good while before I finally stood up and rinsed my mouth out, I looked in the mirror and saw blood shot eyes, a grim expression and clear sorrow as I started to cry again only this time it was for Sophia and Carol.

Finally after my system calmed I walked out and found Maggie standing between the backdoor and the living area.  I walked over and stood there behind her with my hands in my pockets as I asked.  “I have to ask you— _did_ you know she was in the barn?”

She turned around with a look ‘like I can’t believe you just asked that.’  But I needed to know the truth, she had no reason to give it to me after all the lying and deceit, we had finally come to an understanding and I didn’t want to end what could have been a very good friendship because of what happened at the barn.  She didn’t speak; she walked around a small antique loveseat and sat down on the armrest.

“You know, maybe in some way this is for the best.”  I continued to speak as I walked to one of the windows in the corner of the room passed a fireplace.  “At least we know and now we can move on.”

“Move on?”  She asked confused.

“Yeah, it’s just like it meant so much to everyone—” I turned around as I waved my hand before sticking it back in my pocket, I continued.  “Finding her, you know?  And then—”

“So now you’ll just move on?”

“If we can.”  There won’t be that wondering that everyone’s been living with, we know now, I don’t feel good about it, but at least it was done.  “I mean, we’ve lost others.”  I don’t know why but I laughed morosely.  “This is—This is Sophia.”  I shrugged.  “The whole group—this one was different.”  All mirth had left my tone and all that was left was—nothing.

Maggie nodded in understanding.  “So what happens now?”  She asked.

“We bury her with your stepmom and your stepbrother.”  I said as I walked a few feet closer.

“And then?”  Maggie asked tears in her eyes.  I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder as I looked her in the eyes.

“I don’t know.”  I told her honestly.  I was relieved that it was over, as grim as the conclusion was, I was glad it was all said and done.  Now we knew and the search could stop, I needed it to stop, so I could get my relationship with Daryl back on track, I wished I had the courage to go and see how he was doing.  But after our last confrontation I was too scared that it may have been too soon for that, he needed space, I understood that, I didn’t hold it against him, I didn’t blame him.  I just really miss him at times like this.

Maggie and I sat on the loveseat together and talked, while Shane, Rick, Jimmy, T-Dog and Andrea dug three graves for Annette, Shawn and Sophia.  When they were ready, we went out with everyone to stand at their graves to pay our respects.  We had all gotten cleaned up, some changed, I myself couldn’t go back to the tent and see Daryl’s stuff cleared out.  But the others, were dressed nice, Hershel was wearing a suit.

From right to left it was.  Patricia, Hershel, Maggie, Beth, Jimmy, me, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Rick, Lori with her arms around Carl, Shane, and furthest was Daryl, Carol chose not to come, I’m not sure if she stayed in the R.V. or went somewhere else, I wasn’t sure why either.  I guess she just didn’t have the heart to say goodbye.

No one spoke as we either had our heads bowed or were just looking at the graves not far from the barn.  One by one we started to walk away, I looked at Daryl who glanced at me.  He was closed off again, his emotions unreadable.  He turned and headed off somewhere, out in the woods maybe, I didn’t go looking.  I went to the tent and sure enough Daryl’s things were gone, he left the ABC book I had been planning to use to teach Daryl to read.  I suddenly felt like crying again, as I sat on the cot and rubbed my hand absently on my belly.  It was barely passed lunch and everything was so fucked up.

Finally I headed back to the house to cool off, get some water before I got dehydrated while the others took care of the rest of the walkers at the barn.  I walked in and headed to the kitchen where Beth was cleaning, Maggie saw me and walked over, she put a hand on the table as she leaned in casually as she asked.  “So if your group leaves, you wouldn’t stay?”  Maggie asked.

“I—I can’t Maggie, if Daryl goes I have to go to.”  I told her honestly, Daryl is the father of this child and weather he and I are together it makes no difference to the baby.

“I see, Daryl, even though he broke your heart.”  Maggie said.

“Do—do you think this is really the time…to discuss this?”  She deserved to know the truth about my condition, but with Beth in the other room and having just buried her loved ones.

“Well, I’m not really feeling like there’s a lot of time for anything.”

I moved a few feet closer as I spoke.  “No, no there—there is.  There is, I mean, I-I—I want—” I never got the chance to finish my sentence when Beth collapsed knocking all the plates she’d been stacking on the counter off with a crash.  Maggie spun around and saw her on the floor.

“Oh my God.”  She ran to her I followed and together we got Beth up and to her room where we laid her on the bed, her eyes were open but it was as if she wasn’t there.

While Maggie watched I went to tell the others and then Maggie and I looked for Hershel, he was nowhere to be found, we went back to Beth’s room and while I stood against one of the walls with my arms crossed Maggie sat on the bed next to Beth and ran her hand against Beth’s cheek.  “Sweetie, can you hear me?”  She asked softly.

Lori stepped into the room, standing partially in the doorway as Maggie looked at her and asked.  “What’s wrong with her?”

“She might be in shock.  Where’s Hershel?”  Lori looked at me as I answered.

“We can’t find him anywhere.”  Lori walked out as Maggie took Beth’s hand.

“Hey, kiddo.”  Maggie said as she rubbed her hand.  We waited there until Lori came back with Rick and Shane.

Then followed them to Hershel’s room Rick started looking through the boxes on Hershel’s bed while Lori walked by the window where she sat on one of the chairs and Shane at the dresser looking at a picture that was on top when he asked.  “Your step mothers things?”  Rick looked up waiting for an answer from Maggie.

“He was so sure she’d recover.  They’d just pick up where they left off.”  She was standing at the makeup stand and I was near the open closet close to her.  The top drawer of the dresser was open, and Shane put the picture back down and picked up a silver flask as he looked at it.

“Looks like he found an old friend.”  Shane said as he shook it then tossed it to Rick who looked at it as Maggie walked over to him.

“That belonged to my grandfather, gave it to dad when he died.”  She explained as she took it from Rick.  I had one hand on the makeup stand the other in my pocket.

“I didn’t take Hershel for a drinker.”  Rick commented.

“No, he gave it up on the day I was born.”  She said walking back to the makeup stand.  “He didn’t even allow liquor in the house.”  She finished as she faced them.

“What’s the bar in town?”  Rick asked as he moved around the bed.

“Hatlin’s.  He practically lived there in his drinking days.”

Rick stopped in front of us; he looked at me as he said.  “Betting that’s where I’ll find him.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen the place, I’ll take you.”  I told Rick, I wanted to go; I couldn’t stay here and see that empty tent again.

“All right, I’ll get the truck.”  Rick agreed.

“Okay.”  I moved to follow him and Maggie grabbed my arm.

“N—No.”  I looked at her confused.

“It’s an easy run.”  I told her.

“Like the pharmacy?”

“Hey, Maggie?”  Rick asked as he got her attention.  “I’ll bring him back.”  He chuckled as he added.  “Or Daryl’ll kill me.”  I knew he was right, Daryl and I might not be together, but he’s still protective and if anything happens to me Daryl will make sure Rick loses everything that makes him a man.

I looked at Maggie as Rick left to get the truck.  “Maggie, I don’t need your protection.”  I told her softly, she released my arm, the only one I ever want to protect me, is Daryl.

I watched Lori and Shane follow Rick out into the hall, I watched from the door way as they talked to Rick.  Maggie was behind me, she seemed on edge but she didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t help but listen, I tried to be invisible not wanting to interrupt or get in between them.

“Rick?  You want to have a conversation about this before you leave?”  Lori asked, Rick stopped and faced her.

“So, you’re seriously gonna go after this guy with everything that’s going on, huh?  What you gonna do?”  Shane asked; I could feel Maggie tense up hearing that.

“He’s right.  This is not the time to head off, not today.  You don’t know always have—”

“I’m not arguing.  It’s the least I can do for Hershel after we—”

“What?”  Shane interrupted.  “After we what?”  He didn’t wait for an answer as he walked between them and headed downstairs.

“Carl said he would’ve shot Sophia himself.”  Lori told him, I hated hearing that as I moved back into the room with Maggie, but I couldn’t block out their conversation.  “That’s your son he’s getting cold.  He’s growing up in a world with—he’s growing up in a world where he needs a father like you—around, alive, not running off, solving everybody else’s problems.”

“It’s not just his problem I’m trying to solve; we need Hershel for the baby, for Glenn’s baby.”  He had lowered his voice I didn’t think Maggie heard as she was putting her father’s boxes away trying to keep busy.  “I’m going after him.”  There was no brooking for argument in his voice.  I heard him walk away, I waited till Lori had left before leaving with Maggie, she went to Beth as I headed downstairs.  I didn’t go to tell Daryl I was leaving, he was keeping his distance and besides I wasn’t worried about it, I had Rick and knew that if whatever was going on kept working the Walkers wouldn’t even notice me.

I grabbed my shot gun from the sofa before I stepped out and down the porch where Rick was standing next to the Cherokee loading his gun waiting.  As I got closer Rick asked.  “You ready?”

“Yeah.”  I looked back at camp but I didn’t see Daryl.  I walked to the passenger side and got in, Rick followed as we closed our doors and he started up the car to get Hershel.

On the way Rick asked me what was going on. So I told him, the whole ugly story between me, Daryl, and Maggie.  I was crying again by the time I finished at the break up.  “It’ll be okay Glenn, try and do your best, Daryl is crazy about you, everyone can see that.  You love him right?”  Rick asked as he glanced at me.

“Yes, more than anything.  He’s not just the father of this baby.”  He placed my hadn on my tummy.  “He’s the love of my life.”

Rick nodded.  “Then try your best to make it up to him and show him that it’ll never happen again.”  With all that was going on with him and Shane and Lori he still had time to give him sound advice in my own relationship.  We didn’t say anything else; I dried my tears as we arrived at the bar, not a walker to be seen, just a few birds squawking.

As he turned the car off; I spoke up again.  “Rick, I know about Lori, her being pregnant.  I got her those pills.”  He needed to know.

“I figured.”  That was it, he opened the door and got out; I followed.  He didn’t seem mad, at me that is.

He cocked his gun as I walked around the Cherokee.  “Hey, I’m sorry I kept it from you.”  I told him as I held the shot gun close to me and ready to be fired.

“Don’t be.  You did what you thought was right.”  Rick told me before heading up to the bar.  He looked at me.  “It just so happens it wasn’t.”  He walked over the over grown weeds, I followed silently.

Rick opened the door its hinges were rusty as they squeaked announcing our arrival.  The bar was empty, except for Hershel sitting at the end, his back to the door holding something I guessed it was a glass of alcohol in his hands.  I closed the door behind us.

“Hershel.”  Rick called trying to get his attention.

“Who’s with you?”  He asked not looking at us.

“Glenn.”  Rick informed him as he walked a few paces towards where Hershel was sitting.

“Maggie sent him?”  Hershel asked; I wasn’t sure what kind of relationship he thought I had with Maggie, but clearly he knew something.  I’d find out shortly after returning to the farm.

“He volunteered.  He’s good, like that.”  He headed towards him again; Hershel turned his head in our direction.  I followed several feet behind Rick; I kept a little distance while Rick stopped right next to him.

He placed his hand on the bar when he asked.  “How many have you had?”

“Not enough.”

Rick looked at me then bent forward some and lowered his voice, I still heard him though.  “Let’s finish this up back at home.”  There was no response so Rick continued.  “Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state.”  Hershel looked at him.  “Must be in shock, I think you are too.”

“Maggie’s with her?”  Hershel asked, before looking back at his drink.

“Yeah, but Beth needs you.” 

“What could I do?  She needs her mother.”  I moved my hands on the shot gun, reaffirming my grip on it, I looked back at the door, I had a bad feeling the longer we stayed here.  Hershel continued.  “Or rather to mourn like she should’ve done weeks ago.  I robbed her of that.  I see that now.”

Hershel took a sip of his drink.  “You thought there was a cure.  Can’t blame yourself for holding out for hope.”

“Hope?  When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive.”  Hershel looked back at Rick as I relaxed my stance.

“But he did.”

“He did.”  Hershel agreed.  “Even though we lost Otis.  Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy.  That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist.”  He made a hand gesture at the table to emphasize his point.  “Only it was a sham, a bait and switch.  I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that.”

Rick and I had nothing to say on that so Hershel continued.  “My daughters deserve better than that. “  He finished his glass, then picked up the bottle unscrewed the top and poured himself another glass full of what I could only guess was whisky, I was never much of a drinker before I got pregnant, I’m defiantly not one now.

I opened the door so I could see how long we had till night fall.  Rick walked over to me.  “So what do we do?  Just wait for him to pass out?”  I asked quietly, but it wasn’t quite enough as Hershel spoke.

“Just go.”  Rick looked back at him.  “Just go!”  Hershel ordered louder.

“I promised Maggie I’d bring you home safe.”  Rick informed him.

He laughed.  “Like you promised that little girl?”  That was a little cold I thought.  Rick walked back over.

“So what’s your plan?  Finish that bottle?  Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?”  He set the glass down before standing and facing Rick.  I closed the door again as Hershel started to raise his voice.

“Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm.  You people are like a plague!  I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!”  Hershel was pissed and rightly so.

Rick closed the space between them as he spoke.  “The world was already in bad shape when we met.”

“And you take no responsibility!  You’re supposed to be their leader!”

Rick raised his voice to match Hershel’s.  “Well, I’m here now, aren’t I!?”  There was a silent stand off as they looked each other in the eyes.

Hershel lowered his voice as he answered Rick’s question.  “Yes.  Yes.  Yes, you are.”  He turned back to the bar walking away, he sat back down, Rick closed the gap again.

“Now come on.”  Hershel took another drink ignoring him.  “Your girls need you know more than ever.”  Rick grabbed Hershel’s arm, he pulled away.

“I didn’t want to believe you.  You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick.  I chose not to believe that.  I don’t understand how my little girl can take a person’s pain, or how your man can see in the dark.  It makes no sense to me.

But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that’s when I knew what an ass I’d been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse!  That’s when I knew there was no hope, for any of us.  And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face—I knew you knew it too.  Right?  There is no hope.  And you know it now, like I do.  Don’t you?”

There had to be hope, for me and Daryl, for this baby, for Lori and her baby for all of us we need hope, I had unshed tears in my eyes as I waited for a reaction, some kind of reaction from Rick.  He just looked at me and saw the despair in my eyes when Hershel spoke again.  “There is no hope for any of us.”  He turned back to his drink as the silence between us was almost defining.

The sun was starting to come down, as I walked closer to them, holding the shot gun in one hand, we needed to leave soon, when Rick spoke to Hershel once more.  “Look, I’m done; I’m not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you.  You know what the truth is?  Nothing has changed.  Death is death; it’s always been there, whether it’s from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker.  What’s the difference?  You didn’t think it was hopeless before, did you?  Now there are people back at home trying to hang on.  They need us, even if it’s just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don’t believe it ourselves.”

I hoped Rick was wrong as I continued to listen to him talk.  “You know what?  This—this isn’t about what we believe anymore.”  He moved his hand between them and to his heart.  “It’s about them.”  He motioned out there, back at the farm.  He finally got through to Hershel as he emptied his glass, turned it upside down and set it on the counter.  But just as we were going to leave the door opened and two guys walked in.

The taller thinner of the two spoke, as he looked at us and then his chubby friend.  “Son of a bitch they’re alive.”  They shut the door and the thin dude sat at a table while his chubby pal sat at the bar.

I walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey handing it to Rick who put a couple of glasses on the table along with a shot glass for the thin guy and poured him a shot, which he took then started to pour a glass for him and the big guy as he introduced himself and his friend.  “I’m Dave.  That scrawny-looking douche bag there is Tony.”  He said then drank the whiskey.

The big guy Tony chuckled.  “Eat me Dave.”

“Hey, maybe someday I will.”  That joke wasn’t funny, there was something about these two I didn’t trust, they seemed off and I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.  He went on to explain how they got together.  “We met on I-95 coming out of Philly.  Damn shit-show that was.”  He set his empty shot glass down.

“I’m Glenn.  It’s nice to meet some new people.”  I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, though my gut was twisting with a bad feeling.

“Rick Grimes.”  He set his glass on the bar then handed one to Tony.

“How about you two, have one?”  He asked me and Hershel.

“I just quit.”  Hershel told him.

“I don’t drink.”  It was the truth; I don’t drink, as long as I’m pregnant.

“Y’all got a unique sense of timing, my friends.”  Dave laughed.

“His name’s Hershel, he lost people today, a lot of them.”  Rick explained to him.

“I’m truly sorry to hear that.”  Dave said as his mirth disappeared.  He filled up his shot glass then held it out in a toast.  “To better days and new friends.  And to our dead—may they be in a better place.”  The three of them raised their glasses then drank.

Dave moved setting his glass down and caught Rick looking at his gun in the back of his pants.  “Not bad, huh?”  He asked as he pulled it out and showed it backend first to Rick.  He took the gun in both hands and told us where he got it from.  “I got it off a cop.”

“I’m a cop.”  Rick told him.

“This one was already dead.”  There was something odd by the way Tony never spoke as he watched us.

“You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia.”  Rick commented as he took a swig.

“It feels like we’re a long way from anywhere.”

“Well, what drove you south?”

“Well, I can tell you it wasn’t the weather.  I must’ve dropped thirty pounds in sweat alone down here.”

“I wish.”  Tony finally spoke.

“No, first it was D.C. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed, we never even got close.  We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks, keep hauling ass.  Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing.”

Tony spoke up then.  “One guy told us there was a coast guard sitting in the gulf, sending ferries to the islands.”

Dave picked up from there.  “The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country—Kansas, Nebraska.”

“Nebraska?”  I asked.

Tony answered as he looked at me, but the way he seemed to check me out, gave me the creeps, I tried to ignore it.  “Low population, lots of guns.”

“Kinda makes sense.”  I commented.

“Ever been to Nebraska, kid?”  Dave asked, I didn’t answer he continued.  “A reason they call ‘em flyover states.”  Tony started to laugh for some reason, we didn’t get the joke, at least I didn’t.  They shared a look then Dave asked.  “How about you guys?”

“Fort Benning eventually.”  Rick informed them, I ran my hand over my face, it was getting hot and I was feeling sick again.

“I hate to piss in your cornflakes, officer, but…we ran across a grunt who was stationed at Benning.  He said the place was overrun by Lamebrains.”  Dave explained.

“Wait, Fort Benning is gone?  Are you for real?”  I asked, shocked.

“Sadly, I am.  Oddly, the truth is there is no way out of this mess.  Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn’t grab ahold of you when you sleep.”

“If you sleep.”  Tony added.

“Yeah, it doesn’t look like you guys are hanging your hats here.”  Dave said changing the subject.  “You holed up somewhere else?”

“Not really.”  It was obvious that Rick didn’t trust these guys, and neither did I.

“Those your cars out front?”  Dave asked pointing with his thumb outside.

“Yeah, why?”  I asked.

“We’re living in ours.  Those look kinda empty, clean.”  Dave explained, they looked in our cars, that was suspicious.  “Where’s all your gear?”

“We’re with a larger group out scouting, thought we could use a drink.”  Hershel told him.

“A drink?  Hershel, I thought you quit, and Glenn, I thought you don’t drink.”  Dave asked incredulous.  “Well, we’re thinking of setting up around here.  Is it—is it safe?”  He looked at Rick.

“It can be, although I have killed a couple of walkers around here.”  I told him.

“Walkers?  That what you call them?”  Dave asked.

I chuckled.  “Yeah.

“That’s good.  I like that.  I like that better than lamebrains.”  He scratched the back of his neck.

“More succinct.”  Tony commented.

“Okay, Tony went to college.”  Dave explained.

“Two years.”  For a few minutes no one talked, just looked at each other.  Then Dave broke the silence again.

“So what—so what you guys set up on the outskirts or something?  That new development?”

“Trailer park or something?”  Tony asked as he stood up and moved across the room.

“A farm?”  Dave asked, no one answered and Dave started singing.  “Old McDonald had a farm.”  He looked at Tony as he laughed.  Then faced Rick again, okay this was getting creepy.  “You got a farm?”  Dave asked again, how did they know about the farm, I was hoping they were just shooting in the dark on that one.

Tony started peeing against one of the back shelves as he continued singing the song Dave started.  “E-I-E-I-O.  Is it safe?”  He asked as he continued to pee against the wall.  I looked back at Dave.

“It’s gotta be.  You got food, water?”  Dave asked.

“You got cooze?  Ain’t had a piece of ass in weeks.”  Tony asked as he chuckled.  Okay now I was really getting weirded out by these guys.

“Listen, pardon my friend.  City kids—they got no tact.  No disrespect.  So listen, Glenn—”

“We’ve said enough.”  Rick told him when Dave started to direct his question to me.  Rick knew these guys were bad news the moment they walked in, and he knew that Tony’s last comment was a tip off to what kind of men they were.

“Well, hang on a second.  This farm—it sounds pretty sweet.  Don’t it sound sweet, Tony?”

“Yeah, real sweet.”  Tony said as he zipped up.  And hung his sheathed shotgun on his back as he faced us again.

“How about a little southern hospitality?  We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time.  I don’t see why you can’t make room for a few more.  We can pool our resources, our manpower.”

“Look, I’m sorry, that’s not an option.”  Rick told ‘em.  Tony looked at Dave, and Dave pursed his lips together as he looked at the ground thinking.

“Doesn’t sound like it’d be a problem.”  Dave said.

“I’m sorry, we can’t.”  Hershel told him.

“We can’t take in anymore.”  Rick elaborated.

Dave chuckled.  “You guys are something else.  I thought—I thought we were friends.  We got people we gotta look out for too.”

“We don’t know anything about you.”

“No, that’s true.  You don’t know anything about us.  You don’t know what we’ve had to go through out there, the things we’ve had to do.  I bet you’ve had to do some of those same things yourself.  Am I right?”  He paused, no one responded, he continued.  “‘Cause ain’t nobody’s hands clean in what’s left of this world.  We’re all the same.  So come on, let’s—let’s take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we’ll get to know each other.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”  Rick told him.

“Rick—” Dave started then Tony interrupted.

“This is bullshit.”

“Calm down.”  Rick told him.

“Don’t tell me to calm down.  Don’t ever tell me to calm down.”  Tony said his voice rising.

“Whoa.”  I said.

“I’ll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your damn farm!”  Tony said.  Rick stood up as they got in each other’s faces.  I was starting to wish I hadn’t volunteered, wishing to be back on the farm trying to fix things with Daryl.

Dave stood.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  Relax.”  He told Tony as he got between him and Rick.  “Take it easy, nobody’s killing anybody.”  He patted Rick’s arm as he moved to the bar and climbed over as he continued to speak.  “Nobody’s shooting anybody.  Right, Rick?”

Tony grabbed his gun from behind him.  Rick put his hand on his weapon as Dave moved his hand to keep him from shooting as he pulled his own pistol out.  “Look.”  He placed it on the bar.  “We’re just friends having a drink that’s all.”  He let his gun go and moved his hands away.

“Now where’s the good stuff, huh?”  Dave asked as it seemed things had calmed.  He rubbed his hands together as he kept repeating good stuff while looking under the bar.  I looked at Tony, I was scared, walkers were one thing they were easy, people were dangerous.

Rick put his hand back on his gun when Dave bent over his hand a little too close to his pistol.  He came back up with a bottle.  “Hey, look at that.”  Rick eased his hand off.  “That’ll work.”  He started to unscrew the cap.

He sighed before speaking again as he poured himself another glass, this time scotch it looked like.  “You gotta understand—we can’t stay out there.  You know what it’s like.”

“Yeah, I do.”  Rick told him.  “But the farm is too crowded as is.  I’m sorry.  You’ll have to keep looking.”

“Keep looking.”  There was a mirror behind Dave; Rick was keeping an eye on Tony with it.  “Where do you suggest we do that?”  Dave asked.  I saw Tony look at me and Hershel.

“I don’t know.  I hear Nebraska’s nice.”  Rick answered.

Dave laughed.  “Nebraska.  This guy.”  It happened so fast.  Dave reached for his gun but Rick was faster as he pulled out his pistol and shot Dave in the head, blood splattering on the mirror behind him, then turned and put a bullet in Tony’s shoulder, his shot gun went off at the roof as he fell back, then Rick shot him in the stomach as he went down.  He fired once more in his head, his body landing on the ground so loud as all the noise died down.  My heart was racing and my breathing quickened, Hershel was calm and I couldn’t stop it as I found a corner and threw up.  I was getting so tired of this morning sickness.  I wiped my mouth as I stood up and took in the scene as Rick walked over to Tony’s dead body before he put his gun away.  Hershel walked over to him and Rick looked at me, it was clear in my eyes just how scared I was now.  I could see determination in Rick’s as I knew he’d do whatever he could to get us back to the farm, back where it was safe.  ‘Cause just then the sun went down.


	9. Triggerfinger

Triggerfinger

Glenn's POV

 

The sun had gone down as the dust settled after Rick put the final shot right between Tony’s eyes, I walked from behind the bar up to him with shot gun in hand, and Hershel joined him as well to look at Tony’s dead body.  Rick un-cocked his gun and put it back in his holster as I said.  “Holy shit.”  I was in shock at what had just happened.

“You all right?”  Rick asked concerned.  Was I, I wasn’t quite sure at the time, it had just happened so fast, killing both Dave and Tony, but he had to do it or they would’ve killed us.  I knew this, didn’t make it better, walkers was one thing but this was really the first time Rick had intentionally killed a living person, at least in front of me. Unfortunately it wouldn’t be the last.

“Yeah.”  I told him, it was a lie, ‘cause I wanted Daryl.  I was hoping we could go home now, it was dark and we needed to get out of here and back to the farm where it was safe.

“Hershel?”  Rick asked looking at him.  Hershel nodded, then he looked back at me, I nodded it was time to go.

“Let’s head back.”  Hershel said voicing what we were all thinking.  I moved back to the bar as Rick bent down and picked up Tony’s shotgun, and checked his pockets, he found a couple of shells.  He placed them in his shirt pocket as him and Hershel walked away from Tony to the front door.

I had gone back behind the bar and walked slowly and careful around Dave as I bent to pick up his pistol on the ground next to his dead body.  The dead have never made him comfortable, it’s even worse now that they can come back, luckily Rick had gone for headshots, though at this point I was pretty sure unless you were bit you weren’t coming back.

As we made our way to the door headlights flashed through the windows.  “Car.  Car.”  Rick said as we ran for the door. “Get down.”  Rick said quietly, Hershel hid between the front windows, I was between the window and the door and Rick hid behind the left side of the double doors.  We all had her backs against the walls and crouched.  Rick had his gun back out ready to use.  I pulled my shotgun to my chest.  I gasped in pain though as it brushed my chest, I knew why my chest and nipples were so sore, though it was embarrassing to say the least as I moved the gun away from my chest.

Hershel looked at me but didn’t comment as the car got closer and stopped as the engines were shut off and doors opened and closed as people got out.  A man’s voice spoke up from outside.  “Dave?  Tony?  They said over here?”  He asked another man who answered.

“Yeah.”

A third man spoke then.  “I’m telling you, man, I heard shots.”

The second replied.  “I saw roamers two streets over, might be more around here.”  He had to be talking about walkers.

“It’s hot.”  First guy commented.  “We gotta get out of here.”

“Dave! Tony!”  Third guy called as we heard foots steps on the wooden planks that was along the bar and whatever shops were next to it.

“Shut up, you idiot!  You wanna attract ‘em?”  First guy asked.  “Just stick close we’re gonna find ‘em.”

One shadow passed the window that had red and white checkered shades drawn so they couldn’t see us.  Another stopped right in front of the door on the right side of it, his shadow over the pane glass windows in the top of them.

“Dude he said to stay close.”  Second guy said.  “Tony.”  The guy called as he followed third guy down the wooden walkway, whoever they were, we had just killed their friends.  We were so screwed and I was starting to get terrified again, only this time, I didn’t think they’d ignore me like the walkers had been doing.

Rick turned to look out the window next to him, moving the shade to see as we had been sitting here for the last several minutes and there wasn’t a sound.  I followed his lead and looked out the window I was next to trying to stay calm, I didn’t see anyone.

I heard more footsteps as the boards creaked as they walked.  Rick stood up against the door staying out of sight.  He leaned again to see outside the window better, a few seconds later he crouched back down and silently moved over to us.

“Why won’t they leave?”  I asked in a frightened whisper not wanting them to hear us, I hoped they didn’t have Daryl’s hearing though I think that if they did they’d know we were here already.

“Would you?”  Hershel whispered back.

“We can’t sit here any longer.”  Rick whispered urgently to us, we needed to get out of here before walkers showed up.  “Let’s head out the back and make a run to the car.”  Hershel and I agreed, as we started to move, we heard a gunshots coming from outside, we ducked back down where we had been hiding moments ago.

Rick looked out the top of the window that didn’t have a shade across it watching two guys talking.

The first guy from earlier asked.  “What happened?”

Third guy answered.  “Roamers, I nailed ‘em.”  Idiot, those shots were leading more walkers right to us.

Second guy spoke up then.  “They disappeared but their car’s still there.”  Rick put his back against the door again as we continued to listen to him talk.  “I cleared those buildings, you guys get this one?”  Rick looked at us as we heard them getting closer.

“No.”  Frist guy said.

“Me neither.”  Third replied.

“We’re looking for Dave and Tony and no one checks the damn bar?”  The second guy asked as they stepped on the walkway again.  Rick crouched back down; I looked at him freaking out.  Rick cocked his gun again as they approached the door, just as the door started to open I reacted, I left my shotgun leaning against the wall as I shuffled in front of the opening door staying low and pushing my back against it shutting it on them.

“What?”  Third guy asked.

“Someone pushed it shut.  There’s someone in there.”  Second informed them.  I bit my lip as tears were forming in my eyes, my emotions were not in my control at that moment and even worse since I got pregnant.

I looked at Rick as he shook his head at my actions.  “Yo, is someone in there?”  Second guy asked loudly.  “Yo, if someone’s in there we don’t want no trouble.”  I looked at Hershel he was just as scared as I was.  He continued to speak to us.  “We’re just looking for our friends.”

“What do we do?”  First guy asked.

“Bum rush the door?”  Third guy suggested.

“No, we don’t know how many are there, just relax.”  Second guy tells them, sounds like the leader.  He spoke to us again.  “We don’t want any trouble.  We’re just looking for our friends.”  We were dead, ‘cause we killed their friends.  “If something happened tell us.  This place is crawling with corpses.”  He informed us.  “If you can help us not get killed, I’d appreciate it.”

There were more footsteps across the wooden planks as first guy spoke up again.  “You’re bugging, I’m telling you nobody’s in there.”

“Someone guard the door, if they’re in there, they might know where Dave and Tony are.”  Second guy said.  Rick wiped his forehead as sweat was gathering from the heat and the situation we were in.  I felt sick, and hungry I hadn’t eaten since lunch and that had been very little after the events of earlier today.  This has to be the longest day, and it still wasn’t over.

Their footsteps started to get softer as it traveled some distance but it only sounded like one set.  Rick finally spoke up I don’t know if it had been the smart thing to do, but we were trapped and so he spoke up loudly.  “They drew on us!”  I glanced at Hershel as he sighed and put his head in his hands, I felt that had been the wrong move to, but what else was he supposed to do.

The footsteps came back.  I tensed up against the door trying to keep it closed should they try to enter again.  “Dave and Tony in there?  They alive?”  Second guy asked.

Rick looked at the ground, bit his lip, shook his head and for a minute said nothing then answered his question.  “No.”

“They killed Dave and Tony.”  Second informed the other two.

“Come on man let’s go.”  First asked.

“No, I’m not leaving, I’m not telling Jane.  I’m not gonna go back and tell them that Dave and Tony got shot by some assholes in a bar.”  Second told ‘em.

“Your friend drew on us!”  Rick shouted at them.   Rick never would have shot Dave and Tony if they had just had their drink and left.  “They gave us no choice!”  There was silence Rick continued, trying to reason with them.  “I’m sure we’ve all lost enough people, done things we wish we didn’t have to, but—but it’s like that now, you know that!”  No answer.  “So let’s just chalk this up to what it was—wrong place, wrong—”  A shotgun blast destroyed the window above me, I curled up as the glass shards fell on me one arm on my belly trying to protect my baby.

When no other bullets came after the first Rick stood up and fired back through the window they had just shot through, Rick looked at me and Hershel and shouted as he fired.  “Get outta here! Go!”  Hershel and I got to our feet and still partially crouched headed for the back door as more shots were fired and glass shattered in the bullets wake.

Rick crouched back down at the door, I slid under one of the tables and Hershel hid behind a wall panel.  I whimpered and yelped as a bullet nearly hit me.  Hershel who had grabbed my shotgun from the wall where I had left it peaked out and slid it to me.  I took a hold of it knowing what I had to do, for myself, for Daryl, for this baby growing inside me.  I needed to make the hard choices now so it could live.

I scooted my back against the piano next to the table I had slid under, I used it for cover as I grasped my shotgun in both hands, the gunfire stopped, I looked to Rick, then Hershel who had his own gun out and ready to use.  “Daryl.”  I whispered softly as I was thinking on what he’d have done, if he was here instead of me.  But I knew exactly what he would have done, he would’ve told them how he helped kill Dave and Tony, how he had danced on their corpses and pissed in their faces, he would fire back at these assholes, ‘cause Dave and Tony were killed protecting his own.  That’s what Rick had done, killed them protecting his own, these guys were trying to kill us out of revenge and all this noise was going to bring unwanted attention from the walkers.

Rick opened the chamber in his gun and dumped the empty shells then reached in his pocket to reload it while it was still quit outside.  “Hey!”  He called as he worked on getting the ammo out of his shirt pocket.  “We all know this is not gonna end well!  There’s nothing in it for any of us!”  They didn’t answer, they didn’t shoot either, Rick continued trying to reason with them.  “You guy, just—just back off, no one else gets hurt!”  He clicked the chamber back into place after reloading.

We heard a bottle rattle in the back, we all looked at the exit.  I looked at Rick; he made a motion with his head for me to check it out.  He had to stay there in case they shot through the front again.  I stood up and jogged to the exit door I was not going to tell Daryl I did this or Rick was so dead.

I took a deep breath trying to calm the fear racing through me as I slowly opened the back door, I aimed my shotgun as I looked outside, I really wished we had Daryl’s hearing and eye sight right about now.  It was a basement area there were bottles and cans and an old woodstove set in the middle of the room.  Chairs and tables on one side, windows letting in moonlight on the other.  I slowly headed down the stairs with my gun ready to fire the moment someone or something posed a threat to me and my baby.  Now I understood that whole protective instinct thing, being pregnant does give you a different perspective on women and their young.

I paused when one of the stairs creaked loudly, I moved again when nothing happened and kept going till I got to the bottom.  I looked around the crates and old junk down here as I went further into the room, praying the whole time that no one was down there, that no walkers were down there either.

I paused as I heard a bottle clatter and first guy cuss.  “Shit!”  I saw the exit door leading out of the basement and there were shadows behind the pane glass windows, a heard a shotgun cock.  One of the guys tried the white knob as it started to turn, I froze I couldn’t seem to move my feet.  So I aimed my gun instead and fired at the glass shattering it all over them.

“Glenn!  Glenn!”  Rick shouted from inside, concerned.

“I—I’m all right, I’m all right!”  I called back as I looked at the door I’d come from.  Then I moved getting up against the wall near the double doors I’d just shot at.  I cocked the shotgun listening as the empty shell fell to the floor while the chamber reloaded a second round ready to fire should the need arise.

I waited there for a minute, I moved to face the door making it easier to see and shoot should one of them make an appearance.  I turned as I heard footsteps behind me and jumped when I saw Hershel standing there.  He raised his hands before moving his free hand to the barrel of my shotgun and lowering it, he held his gun in the other.

I took another calming breath.  “Sorry, sorry.”  Once I lowered the shotgun Hershel spoke up.

“Rick wants you to try for the car.”

“Try?”  I asked; I unconsciously put my hand on my belly in reflex at hearing this, if Hershel noticed he made no comment about it.

“You’ll try and succeed.  I’ll cover you.”  Hershel promised.

“That’s a great plan.”  Okay I may have sounded a little sarcastic at that, but what did they expect I was risking my life and my child’s life, (granted Hershel didn’t know that last part) after I promised Daryl I wouldn’t do that ever again, since the well incident.

I took a breath then moved from my spot against the wall and walked gun aimed to the door I had shot out a few minutes ago.  I slowly opened the double doors hearing their hinges squeak as they swung open, I glanced at Hershel who was standing there with his gun in both hands ready to use.

I slowly peaked out checking both sides looking for anyone living or dead that may be walking around before inching my way outside the safety of the bar.  Hershel followed behind as I slipped down the step to the ground and looked at him as I headed towards where the car was parked.

Suddenly there was a gun shot behind me, I ducked as Hershel fired back.  Unlike the guy, Hershel hit his mark as he grunted in pain when he fell to the ground.  It hadn’t been a kill shot as I heard him groaning and moaning where he landed.  I hid behind one of those big dumpsters there.  Behind some trashcans mostly hidden from Hershel with my back to the exit of the ally I was in.

I heard Rick run up to Hershel, I didn’t move, I just listened.  “What happened?”  Rick asked.

“It’s alright, he fired.  He must’ve hit Glenn.”  Hershel said.  I was fine, I was just too scared to move, I had felt the heat of the bullet as it had passed me it had been that close.

“Shit, Daryl’s gonna kill me.”  Rick whispered.

“He’s behind the dumpster.”  Hershel informed him.  “Doesn’t look like he’s moving.”  The guy was still groaning and moaning up a storm as I heard the door bang against the wall then I heard footsteps which was Rick.

“You hit?”  Rick whispered to me.  I didn’t answer as I gripped the shotgun, thinking of all the things I wanted to tell Daryl, the fear that I’d never make it up to him for kissing Maggie.  My other hand was pressed to my belly as a tear slipped down my cheek.  “Are you hit?”  Rick asked again as he got closer to me.

“No.  No.”  I told him, not getting up ad not releasing my hold on the shotgun.  Rick moved passed the trashcans that was hiding most of my form and sat next to me.

“It’s all right, the car’s right there.”  He told me.

“Okay.”  I said.

“We’re almost home.”  He promised.  “I’m gonna get you to Daryl.”  I closed my eyes as I nodded; he gave me another second to recover.  “You good?”  He asked.

“I’m good.”  I told him.  He looked passed the dumpster to the where the car was waiting for us.  Then to Hershel who was still at the bar watching us and our backs as the guy on the ground was still groaning in pain.  Thunder then rumbled above us.

Rick reasserted his hand on the shot gun and his other hand gripped the pistol.  “Let’s go.”  He said then got to his feet staying low as he started walking, I moved to follow.

More gunshots fired at the dumpster.  “Get back.”  Rick said as he pushed at me to hide against the dumpster again, we were trapped, and toughly screwed.

We looked out; there was one guy on the roof of the pharmacy across the street.  The car drove up tires squealing as it stopped the second guy from earlier yelled from inside the car.  “Let’s get out of here!  Roamers all over the place!  Hurry up!  We gotta get out of here!”

The guy on the roof sounded like third dude, screamed down to him.  “What about Sean?”

“They shot him, we gotta go.  Roamers are everywhere.”

“We’re leaving?”  Third asked second.

“Jump!”  He ordered.  And third did it, which turned out to be the biggest mistake and later a sure death sentence.  Rick and I watched as he got to the edge of the roof and second called up again.  “Hurry up, jump already.”

He did it, he jumped on what was more of a metal hang over then a roof and lost his balance as we watched him fall back and heard an impaling of flesh and his scream of pain.  I looked away, holding tight to my gun as I whispered to Rick.  “Dude didn’t make it.”

“Help me!  Help—Help me!”  He screamed, it was the most heart wrenching sound I’d ever heard up to that point in my life and I had nightmares days, even weeks after with that agonizing scream stuck in my head.

Second called to him.  “I’ve gotta go, I’ve gotta go.”  The saddest part of all this was, they wanted to leave once they knew Dave and Tony had been killed but second guy there, I never saw his face, never got his name, all that I knew of him was a voice, a man who didn’t want to go back to their group and tell them Dave and Tony were dead.  Instead he now has to tell them that not only were Dave and Tony dead, but they also lost Sean and third guy.  They could’ve had two losses, instead because of his need for revenge on his two friends they lost four.

“I’m sorry!”  He called the guy as he started to drive away.

“No, no, don’t leave!”  Third screamed out to him in desperation, fear and pain.  “Help me! No!  No!”  He continued to scream.

“Get Hershel.”  Rick told me as the guy screamed once again for help.  He ran off to the guy, as I stood I started to hear the growling of the walkers, the roamers as they called ‘em headed our way.  “Her—Hershel!” I called, he was still in the door way.

We both saw the walkers attack Sean on the ground where Hershel had dropped him a few minutes ago, a walker got down next to him.  He screamed.  Hershel shot one in the head a few feet from him, but one of the walkers grabbed his arm.  I had my shot gun aimed but my hands weren’t very steady at the moment.  I was pretty sure he was lost.

I closed my eyes as they started biting into his face and arm as he screamed in agony.  I turned back to Hershel and called again as he was watching the walkers eat that man he’d shot.  “Hershel, come on!”  He started to slowly head my way.  “Hershel, Hershel.”  I tried again to get his attention off of the walkers feasting on their dinner, I think it was the first time he actually saw it in action what these walkers do to them, to us.

We started to head for the car, Hershel’s vehicle he’d come to town in.  Hershel spoke as he took hold of his gun in both hands.  “The gunfire must’ve attracted the walkers.  Where’s Rick?”  He asked.

“He—he ran across.”  I told him.

“Well, hell we can’t go without him.”  Unlike that man, we weren’t going to leave Rick behind, injured or not he was our team, our friend, our leader.  “Rick!”  Hershel called as we ran across to where Rick was standing with the guy there crying, he was lying on a dumpster that had its lids closed and his leg impaled on a sharp metal fence.

Hershel faced Rick as he stopped next to him.  “We have to go now.”

“No!”  Guy begged as he continued to cry.

“Shh!”  Rick hushed him.

“I’m sorry, son we have to go.”  Hershel told him gently as he patted his good leg.

“No, no, don’t leave me please.”  He begged again as he sat up some.

“We have to go.”  Hershel told Rick again.

“We can’t.”  Rick told him.

“He was just shooting at us!”  I chimed in.  I didn’t want to leave this guy to die, but I didn’t want him going with us either, and I defiantly didn’t want to die.

“He’s a kid.”  Rick told me.  I took a good look at him, he couldn’t be older then fifteen, Rick was right, he was just a kid.  A scared, hurting kid and the fact that I’m about to have a kid myself; if he or she ever got in a situation like this I’d want people like Rick to help them out of it.

But then I remembered that walkers were everywhere, we didn’t have time to get him loose.  “This place is crawling with walkers!”  I informed Rick.

“We can’t leave him!”  Rick said.

“The fence went clean through.”  Hershel said as he examined the kid’s leg.  “There’s no way we can get the leg off in one piece.”

“Rick, use your strength to break the top off, then his leg can be removed safely.”  I suggested.  Rick looked at me.

“That’s too risky; I could end up doing more damage to his leg if I don’t do it exactly right.”  Rick told us.

He screamed more as the fence was rattled.  “Shut up or I will shoot you!”  Rick threatened, all this noise was attracting walkers.

“That may be the answer.”  Hershel said as he grabbed Rick taking him a few feet from the boy so we formed a small circle to discuss the situation and our options.  “We’re not gonna get that leg off without tearing the muscle to shreds.  He certainly can’t run, he may bleed out.”  I moved as the guy was still moaning and groaning.

“Shut up.”  I told him as I moved his leg a little to see the give.  He shrieked in pain again, at a time like this we could really use Beth to get this kid to be quite.  “I’m sorry.  Sh-sh-shut up.”  I ordered him, I hadn’t meant to cause him pain I just needed to see what we were working with.

I turned back to Hershel as I heard him speak to Rick.  “Maybe we should put him down.”  Rick looked at him shocked, Hershel continued.  “I don’t wanna see any more killing, but this is cruel.”

“Can’t we just take the leg off?”  I suggested.

“That hatchet still in the car?”  Rick asked.

“No, no, don’t—don’t—don’t cut my leg off, please.”  He begged.  “Please, not my leg.”

Rick pulled out his knife, not as big or impressive as Daryl’s hunting knife, but pretty sharp.  “Will this cut through the bone?”  Rick asked Hershel.

“I’ll have to sever the ligaments below the kneecap, cut above the tibia.  He’s going to lose his lower leg.”  He was still whimper and crying no, don’t, no repeatedly as Hershel continued telling us what he’d have to.  “When we get clear of here, we’re gonna have to find some tinder, cauterize the wound so he doesn’t bleed out.”  Hershel started taking off his over shirt leaving him in his undershirt to work in.

“All right, no choice, hurry up.”  Rick told him.  Rick opened the gate of the fence and walked to the kid as I kept look out for walkers while they worked.

“Oh God, oh God.”  I heard him whimper as Rick put his arm across the kid’s chest to restrain him.

“Hand me that stick.”  Hershel told me as he started to wrap his over shirt around his leg tightening it as a tourniquet to help the bleeding.  I grabbed the stick and handed it to Hershel before getting back to my post.

I saw a herd headed our way.  “Guys, walkers.”  He screamed again but it got cut off as Rick put his hand over the dude’s mouth to shut him up as the growling of the dead was getting closer.  “Hurry up!”  I called back as I fired a blast at them.  The first shot hit one in the neck, the second got a guy in the head, they both fell.

I heard Rick.  “Shut up.”  Then.  “Oh God, they’re everywhere.”  Walkers were headed from the other direction as well, starting to surround us.  I heard two shots from Rick’s gun as Hershel continued to work.   “Hershel, how we doing over there?”  Rick asked.

“I need more hands!  Easy, easy.”  Hershel said.  I fired again, and again, and again more just seemed to take the place of the ones that fell.  I could still hear the guy begging Hershel not to cut his leg off, I didn’t blame him but we had no other choice.

There were too many of them.  “Come on, we gotta go!”  I shouted as I turned back to Hershel and Rick.  “I’m almost out of ammo!”  I informed them.  I heard Rick make another shot.  “We don’t have much time!  Come on, we’ve gotta go!”  I shouted again.

“Can’t hold ‘em off!  Hershel, do it now!”  Rick called as he started backing up to us.  “Come on, Hershel!”

“There is no time!”  He screamed at Rick.

“Hershel, come on!”  Rick screamed back.

“Please don’t leave me!  Please! No!”  He cried.  I looked at the walkers headed for us.

Hershel let him go as he headed for the car, the guy continued to beg not to be left behind.  Rick grabbed the fence that the kid was impaled on and using one hand placed it right above the kid’s leg, used his other hand to grab the top and snapped it off, the kid cried out as it jarred his leg.  Then he pulled it off, he screamed again, but at least this way it was a straight arrow without the barbs there to tear up his leg.

I got on one side of the kid while Rick took the other and we lifted him up and headed for the red van, it was bigger than Carol’s Cherokee.  I got in the back with the kid as Hershel took the passenger seat and Rick the driver’s side as he started up the car and headed out.  But as we were leaving I was starting to get a bad feeling, something that made my heart hurt.  I turned back and saw something that made my blood run cold.

“Rick, stop the car!”  I screamed.  Rick pressed on the brake out of reaction to my fear laced shout.

“What?”  Rick asked as he looked at me as I crawled over the back seat to the hatchback to open the trunk.

“Daryl!  Run!”  I screamed as I saw the love of my life, being surrounded by walkers.  Rick got out of the car and shot a couple of them as Daryl put his hunting knife in one.  I grabbed my shot gun and blasted one that was headed right for him. He made a fast sprint to the car and jumped into the hatchback with me as I slammed the doors shut as a walker reached us.

“Gogogogogo.”  Daryl said as Rick got in the driver’s seat again and gunned it, only to have to put it reverse as lots of walkers were in our way blocking our first exit so we had to go around to get out of here.

“Are you okay?”  Daryl asked as he started to check me out for any bites.

“I’m fine.  What are you doing here?”  I asked.

“That’s a good question.”  Rick stated as we got out of the town and he pulled over.  To get the kid settled and discuss with Hershel the best way back to the farm from here seeing as we had to drive out of the other side of town onto a different highway.

“Lori came to me an hour after you guys left wanting me to go looking for Rick, I told her I would if you didn’t make it back by nightfall.  She went herself and got in a crash, she’s okay Shane took her back home while I continued on to find y’all.  Now what happened here, and who’s the kid?”  Daryl asked as he noticed the crying kid in the backseat.

“Not sure yet.  Him and his friends attacked us which is what attracted the herd.”  Rick told him, we’d fill him in on the details later, after we got home.   Hershel and Rick got out and opened the backdoors to assess the kid and get him situated for the ride home.  Though Daryl was not happy when he found out this kid was one of the reasons we were all nearly eaten.

“Daryl hand me one of those rags.”  Rick instructed as he reached passed the kid for the rag.  Daryl grabbed one near him and handed it to Rick.  Who then tied it around the kids eyes, Hershel tightened the tied shirt around his leg to help stop the bleeding, he groaned.

“What’s your name?”  I asked.

“Randal.”  He informed us.

Once that was done Rick and Hershel got back in the front seats of the car, as Daryl and I started to talk.  They were distracted with figuring the best way home from our current location to pay any attention to us.  “Is the baby alright?”  Daryl whispered.

“Yes.  I thought you didn’t want anything more to do with me?”

“I told you I would still be a part of this kid’s life, and I realized when you didn’t come home, that I may not trust you, but somewhere I still want to be with you.  But we’re not gonna be what we were.”

“I know, I’m gonna have to start over, I’m gonna tell Maggie the truth, the reason why I chose you over her.  Everything needs—everything needs to come out and we need to start being honest with these people.”  I told him.

“I don’t like her, I don’t trust her, but I’m willing to work on it, on this, on us.”  Daryl promised.  “I just, can’t say that I forgive you yet, I need time, and sleeping together just won’t work right now.”

I understood he needed his space, but this talk went well, it was a place to start and with that I had hope that we could make it.  Rick got a little lost so it wasn’t till mid-morning before we made it back to the house.  Everyone came up to see us as we drove up and parked, looked like they’d been ready to go out and find us.  I took the shot guns as Rick and Hershel stepped out of the car and Daryl followed me out the back as we came around to say hi to everyone.

“Dad.”  Carl called as he ran up and hugged him.  Then he walked to Lori and hugged her too while still holding onto his son.

Maggie ran up to us and hugged her father, then looked at me and backed away seeing Daryl who was not looking happy.  “You’re okay.”  She said as she backed away from Hershel.  He headed to the house and spoke to Patricia as he passed her and Jimmy on his way.

“Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery.”  He was gonna have to patch up Randal’s leg.

I walked with Daryl headed to the house as well.  “Are you hurt?”  Lori asked as she moved away from the embrace with Rick.

“No, though sounds like I should be asking you that.  Daryl told us about the accident what were you thinking?”  Rick asked as he took a look at her head.

“I was thinking we needed you here.”  Lori told him.

“She snuck out on her own, Daryl and I went out together and I brought her back.”  Shane informed him.

“Are you crazy?  You could’ve—” Rick started when T-Dog interrupted.

“Who the hell is that?”  He asked pointing to Randall sitting in the back.

Everyone else looked as well.  “That’s Randall.”  I told ‘em.  Dale, Andrea, T-Dog and Carol walked up to get a better look at him.  Daryl and I got him out of the car and to the shed while the rest headed back into the house.

We joined them after Hershel showed up to take care of him, a short time later we all convened in the dining area to have a discussion about the kid.  Lori, Carl, Jimmy, Patricia, Carol, Dale and I sat at the table.  Rick and T-Dog leaned on a couple of the empty chairs.  Maggie and Daryl were leaning against walls on opposite ends, Andrea stood behind where Patricia sat and Shane was looking out the window.

Rick and I explained what had happened, all the details, which didn’t make Daryl very happy to know I almost got killed.  Then Rick said at the end of our tale.  “We couldn’t just leave him behind.  He would’ve bled out, if he lived that long.”

“It’s gotten bad in town.  We almost lost Daryl to ‘em.”  Daryl moved to put his hands on my shoulders as he stood behind me.  To reassure me that he was there and alive, I had been so scared I was going to lose him.

“What do we do with him?”  Andrea asked, which was a good question.

Hershel came in then after taking care of him whipping the blood off his hands with a dark cup towel.  “I repaired his calf muscle, but he’ll probably have nerve damage, won’t be on his feet for at least a week.”

“When he is, we give him a canteen; take him out to the main road.  Send him on his way.”  Rick said as he straightened up.

“Isn’t that the same as leaving him for the walkers?”  Andrea asked.

“He’ll have a fighting chance.”  Rick informed her.

“Just gonna let him go?”  Shane asked.  “He knows where we are.”

“He was blindfolded the whole way here.  He’s not a threat.”  Rick said.

“Not a threat, how many of them were there?”  Shane asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.  “You killed three of their men, you took one of them hostage, but they just ain’t gonna come looking?”  Shane had a valid point.  Daryl tightened his hold on my shoulders, it didn’t really hurt but he was worried too, for our baby.

“They left him for dead.  _No one_ is looking.”

“We should still post a guard.”  T-Dog suggested.

“He’s out cold right now, will be for hours.”  Hershel informed us.

“You know what?  I’m gonna go get him some flowers and candy.”  Shane said as he pushed off the wall, luckily in his anger he didn’t leave a dent.  He scoffed as he started to walk towards the door.  “Look at this folks—we back in fantasy land.”

Hershel spoke up then pointing at Shane as he followed.  “You know, we haven’t even dealt with what you did at my barn yet.”  Shane stopped and they faced each other as Hershel continued.  “Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all—this is my farm.”   Shane took a few steps to him.  “Now I wanted you gone.  Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  So do us both a favor—keep your mouth shut.”

Shane didn’t say anything, he sighed as he turned running his hands over his head as he left the farm house.  Rick walked up to Hershel as the screen door slammed closed.  “We’re not gonna do anything about it today.  Let’s just cool off.”  Rick suggested.  After that everyone started to leave.

Daryl bent down.  “Tell Maggie and Hershel, I’ll go move my tent back to camp.”  He whispered in my ear, I nodded as he squeezed my shoulders one last time then he sent a cold glare at Maggie before leaving the house to do as he said.

I stood up and started for the bathroom to cool off my overheated face and get a glass of water when Maggie got my attention.  “Can I talk to you?”  She asked.  Then walked into the kitchen, I followed.

“What’s going on with you and Daryl?”  Maggie asked curious at the change since yesterday morning.

“We’re back together, not like we were but we’re going to give it another shot and work on rebuilding his trust.”  I informed her.

“Are you okay?”  She asked worried about me, I understood that.

“Your dad saved my life today.  And Rick saved us both.  I nearly lost Daryl.  And I—I froze.”

“Well, you were being shot at.”

“I know.”

“You don’t have anything to prove.”

“All I’ve done, then this—okay.  I have to tell you something, I froze because of this.  Because of what I’ve been hiding, the reason why I chose Daryl over you.”

“Okay what is it?”  Maggie asked.

I looked down and took a deep breath then looking back at her I said.  “I’m pregnant.”  Of all the reactions I expected Maggie bursting out in laughter was not really one of them.  Though it shouldn’t have surprised me.

She sobered a moment later as she saw that I was being serious.  “You can’t be serious, you’re a man.”  She was in full denial.

“The throwing up, the over protected, the extra food portions, they all know, Daryl knows.  I know.  We found out a few days before everything on the highway happened, we kept it a secret because, we weren’t sure how your group would react, and it’s not natural.  But neither is Beth being able to take pain away, or Shane and Rick being able to bend metal with such ease or Daryl, seeing in the dark, hearing so far away, his smell.  All senses are above any humans ever recorded.”  She was now listening with rapt attention.

I then pulled out the sonogram photo taken in the CDC and handed it to her.  She looked at where it was circled, it hadn’t been the best ‘cause the machine was old and unused.  But that was clearly a baby fetes.  “Daryl’s the father isn’t he?  Oh God, what have I done.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.”  She looked at me with unshed tears.

“I’m so sorry Glenn, for coming on so strong, trying to steal you away, and-and I made dad think you and Daryl were just friends and you were with me.”  I was shocked; I couldn’t believe she’d go to such lengths.  I turned away from her.

“Come with me, we are straightening this out now.”  I told her, and then headed for Hershel who was checking on Beth now, she followed downcast at this revelation and guilt she was feeling.

He was checking her temperature when we walked in.  Then he moved and sat down as he pulled out his pocket watch to check her pulse.  He looked at us and Maggie as he asked.  “Has she eaten?”  Maggie shook her head.  “I’ll give her a sedative—stop her body from working too hard.”  Then he really saw how we were standing.  “What’s going on?”  Maggie wouldn’t speak so I stepped up.

“Sir, Maggie just informed me that she may have said something’s that might have misled you to believe that Daryl and I are just friends and that we.”  I moved my hand between me and Maggie.  “Are in a relationship.  I’m here to tell you the truth, because you deserve to know.  Maggie and I are just friends.  Some things have happened to—” I was starting to ramble and Hershel spoke up.

“Son, why don’t you start from the beginning.”  He suggested so I did, I told him everything, from meeting Daryl, getting in a relationship with him, getting knocked up, which he didn’t seem to have a problem believing and then everything with Maggie the breakup yesterday and to right now.  When I was finished Hershel looked at Maggie.  “I’m very disappointed in you, Glenn why don’t you head upstairs I’ll give you an examine, just take your shirt and jeans off and lay down I’ll be there in a second.”  I nodded and turned and started to leave but I stopped as I heard Maggie speak.

“You were drinking.”  I knew I should’ve kept going but I couldn’t move as I listened.

“That was the least of my worries.  Maggie how could you kiss him after he said no?”

“That’s not the issue here right now.  You left and I didn’t know what to do!”  Maggie screamed as she started to cry all her guilt and anger bubbled to the surface.

“Maggie, I was proud of you, and you let me think that he was dating you, when he was dating Daryl.”

“I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry.  I made a mistake, but how can you believe that he’s pregnant?”  Maggie asked, I wanted to know this myself.

“When he was shot at in the bar he curled in trying to protect his baby, he seemed to be sick all the time with no real ‘cause, from sight or smell, he ate double portions then everyone else.  And his emotions were hanging on a thread, I’ve only see that from one other person.”

“Who?”  Maggie asked when he didn’t go on.

“You’re mother when she was pregnant with you and Beth.”  Hershel told her.

“I’m really sorry daddy.”  Maggie said tears in her voice.

“I know you are, but it’s not me you need to be apologizing to, it’s Daryl and Glenn, you almost cost this boy a strong relationship with the father of his child.  I suggest you concentrate on the problems that you have caused and let me worry about mine.”  With that said Hershel ended the conversation so I headed upstairs to wait for him.

I didn’t have to wait very long as Hershel walked in with a stethoscope.  He listened to my heart, belly, and lungs.  “You’re healthy, and the heart beat is very strong.”  He pressed around my belly and of course checked my breast and nipple discoloration.  “Sensitive huh.”  He noticed.

“Yeah, um, Hershel I’m sorry about what happened down there.”

“It’s okay; I needed to know so I could look out for you and this baby.  Besides, I’m proud of you.  My kids have kept secrets from me for years, I knew back in collage that Maggie was having sex, they thought I didn’t know.  Maggie keeps secrets and has a hard time letting go of what she wants.  So, what you said didn’t surprise me, what did, was the fact that you came to me with the truth and I think you handled it very well.”   He told me as I got dressed.

Things got better from there, well except between Daryl and Maggie and I didn’t blame him, he still needed time after what happened and he defiantly didn’t like Maggie and everyone could feel it.  It was pretty tense with the whole Randall issue, and then like Rick said after the week him and Shane blindfolded him and stuck him in the car before leaving to drop him off along the main highway.  Unfortunately for all of us, that didn’t happen, and Rick has forever regretted that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters left and then missing scenes for the months that got skipped, so you have those three chapters of season two and the missing scenes that follow to ask your questions on the coming months, and plans for season three. I will answer as best I can without giving to many secrets away. So please ask, please review, and thanks to all my fans for their kudos and reviews.


	10. 18 Miles out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters left, then the missing scenes for the seven months they skipped and the birth of Glenn's baby. Read, enjoy, review, I look forward to any questions you may have for the up coming chapters and stories for the series. I love my fans they keep me going. So thank you for all your kudo's and reviews, and enjoy this next chapter.

18 Miles Out

Rick's POV

 

I stood up, I was bleeding from a cut near my left eye, and walkers were coming out of the public works station, I looked as one spotted me.  Shane had run off being chased by several, I turned and started running as they fell out onto the ground then got up to chase me.  We had left Randall tied up in the middle of the station with no way to defend himself while Shane and I had gotten into a confrontation.  I guess the real question you’re probably asking is how did we end up in this situation with dozens of walkers coming out of the building after us, they hadn’t been there moments before; of course the window hadn’t been busted open moments before either.

I guess I should go back a week, Glenn and I went to get Hershel in town at the bar when we were attacked by some other survivors and one was badly injured, Randall, I couldn’t just leave him.  So with Glenn and Hershel watching my back I got him free of the fence he’d been impaled on.  Then after rescuing Daryl who had come to town to get us, we all five got back to the farm.  Where Hershel patched up Randall’s leg and I gave him a week to heal.  That week was up, it was time to take Randall, so this morning Shane and I took him to a station near the main highway to let him go.

I guess you could say my first mistake was taking in one of the guys that had attacked us, but he was a teenager and the parent in me couldn’t just leave him to die, my second had been trusting Shane.

So the trouble started on our way there, I was driving; Randall was in the hatchback of the car, a green VW bug.  We had taped his mouth, and taped ear buds in his ears as we hooked them to a CD player so he couldn’t hear anything, tied his hands behind his back and his feet, and finally we put a black cloth sack over his head, he could breathe, he just couldn’t see.  Shane was watching the scenery go by from the passenger side window.  I came to a stop at a four way intersection and turned off the car before getting out.  Shane followed my lead, his tactical shotgun in hand as he was watching for walkers.

I walked to the crossroads Shane following when he asked.  “I thought we were going further.”  I had decided to talk with Shane about Otis and his relationship with Lori, and see if I couldn’t suss out Shane and any issues that have arisen, since we arrived at the farm.

“We are.”  I told him, this was just a pit stop, not our final destination.  “Eighteen miles out.”  I informed him, this seemed like a good place to talk as I stopped in the middle of the cross roads the sun beating down on us, it was mid-morning.

Shane looked back at the car as he stopped in front of me; he turned to me again and asked.  “So why are we stopping?”

“I wanted to talk.”  I informed him; he lowered his gun as I continued.  “Been waiting a week till we were gonna do this.  I just wanna talk.”  About him, about us, and decide if he truly was a danger that Dale, Lori and Hershel all seemed to think.

“We don’t need to.”  He told me.

“We do.”

“No man, we don’t.  We’re doing this, I get it.  He was passed out when y’all brought him back, doesn’t know where the farm is.”  He assumed I still wanted to convince him that this was the right thing to do.

“That isn’t what I need to talk to you about.”  I put one wrist in my other hand as we stared at each other for a minute, then I spoke again.  “I heard what really happened at the school.”  I sighed; all this had boiled down to that one moment, that reason of waiting so Hershel and the others couldn’t hear, especially Daryl and his incredible hearing, no way he’d listen in even by accident here. Our problems all came back to Otis and whether or not Shane really did leave him to die.

“Was it to survive?”  I asked.

“Yeah.  One of us wasn’t gonna make it out.  It had to be him.  One power kick to the leg, Carl lives.  Reality is he had no business being here—” He shrugged.  “There, whatever.”

“You don’t think I would’ve done it?”  I asked.

“No, man, I know you wouldn’t have.”  At least he was being honest with me that was a start.

“You don’t think I can keep Lori or Carl safe?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Or my baby?  Is it gonna have to be me too?”

“Rick, you can just be the good guy and expect to live.  Okay?  Not anymore.”

“I’m not the good guy anymore.  To save Carl’s life, I would’ve done anything…Anything.  Now Lori says you’re dangerous, but you’re not gonna be dangerous not to us, not to me, not anymore.”  I told him.  During that speech I had closed some space between us; he was looking at the ground.  “How about you look at me?  You and Lori—” I nodded so he knew that I knew.  “I get what happened.  When I figured it out—and I figured it out pretty quickly—I wanted to break your jaw, let you chock on your teeth.  But I didn’t.  That wasn’t weakness.”  I paused for him to grasp that before I continued.

“It took everything, that is my wife, that is my son, that is my unborn child.  I will stay alive to keep them alive.”   I sighed.  “You don’t love her.  You think you do, but you don’t.  Now the only way you and me keep on is that you accept everything I just said right here, right now, and we move forward with that understanding.”  I had no idea that my little speech was going to turn Shane into my biggest enemy.  He wanted Lori, Carl and my unborn child, and he wanted me out of the way.  I think though that his mind was also clouded with the pills he took.

Shane was always in pain I could see it in his eyes, his shoulders as he kept himself tense and he was popping pain pills like they were candy, we were running out, fast.  Something was wrong, and instead of trying to figure it out I just told him to forget the only thing that kept him going every day.  I turned and walked back to the car.

“When it started it was just—it was a couple of weird stories on the news.”  Shane said, I stopped as I listened, keeping my back to him.  “Then—then it was so quick.  Everything—it just happened.  Two weeks later I’m in the hospital and there were soldiers shooting people in the halls.  They were shooting people, man, not walkers.  Then the walkers came through.  You know, I tried to get you out, I tried but we weren’t gonna make it.  Man, there was no way and I knew it.  But I couldn’t live with it, I couldn’t live knowing—” He sighed.

“But I had to.  I didn’t keep Lori and Carl alive, man.  They kept me alive.”  I still kept my silence.  “I want you to know that I didn’t look at her before that.  Brother, if I could take it all back, I would.”  I believed him, but there was nothing that either of us could say or do to change our fate, it was already signed, sealed and delivered.  I was just to blind to see it.

“I wanna check the ropes.”  I walked to the hatchback and opened it; I took the sack off his head and then checked the tightness of the ropes around his wrists and ankles.  “It’s all good.”  I told Shane, Randall couldn’t hear me due to the music playing in his ears.  I put the sack back on, before Shane and I got back in the car and started out again.

Shane went back to watching the scenery as I drove.  I broke the silence a little while later.  “We’ve gotta start using our knives more.  If there’s one walker, we use our knives.  We keep things quite, we save ammunition.”

“Yeah.”  Shane agreed.

“We need dry goods ahead of the winter—warm clothes, fuel.  Maybe we get a break.  You gotta think the cold affects them.  If it doesn’t kill ‘em, it’s gotta slow ‘em down.  The second week of January last year, we got all that snow and ice.”  Shane was looking out the window at a walker in the field I was driving by, he was silent as I continued to talk.  “My cousin got stuck on 85 for twenty-four hours.  Sitting in his car with a birthday cake for his girlfriend at Georgia tech.  He just sat and ate birthday cake and listened to the ‘lord of the rings’ book on tape.  Twice.  We get lucky, we get the same winter as last year.  By December, it’s a different world.  Safer.”  For us at least, others out there, no food, no shelter, no way.  I remember seeing a few icicle walkers trying to get at us, that year winter was easy for us.  “Maybe we find some snowmobiles to make runs.”

I don’t know what he was thinking but he defiantly didn’t sound enthusiastic as he said.  “That sounds good.”  As he continued to watch a lone walker in the field as I drove passed.

Shane started watching the miles tick by on the speedometer as I drove; I passed the marker I said we’d drop Randall off at.  “It’s more than eighteen.”  Shane said.

“Yeah, I’m looking for a place.”  I told him.

“A place for what?”  Shane asked.

I looked at him.  “Give him a fair shake, a shot.”  To survive, a place that was void of walkers and would give him a chance to make it on his own, otherwise sending him out is a death sentence.  It wasn’t long before a building came into view, I drove over some tracks until I saw a fenced in area, looked deserted of any living or undead life.  I saw a sign; that read ‘Mert County, department of public works’.  It would be a perfect place to drop Randall off.

I turned pulling into the parking lot as I slowed to a stop, and then shut the engines off before we got out.  There was a fence around the property, there was a big brick building and a smaller one, several cars scattered in the area, no walkers, that we could see, once again I wished for Daryl’s hearing.  I walked closer to the fence, it was closed and chained to keep people out or maybe something in; I wasn’t sure.  The parking lot was void of any cars, the works station wasn’t, as I looked to the left and saw a bus, only one, the rest were police cruisers and other civilian vehicles.  Shane was a few paces behind me.

I walked to the fence, Shane followed, as I stopped at the fence to look at the empty public works station, Shane turned his back on the fence as he checked the other direction on my left, his right hand on the butt of his gun in the front of his pants.  Shane looked left and right for any threats as I spoke.  “This’ll do.  We’ll leave the boy here and scavenge some supplies.”  I saw something then.  “Pst.”  I said getting Shane’s attention as he turned around.  “Over there.”

A walker was shambling around the bus, it was growling as he moved closer to us, Shane pulled out his gun.  The guy was dressed in a uniform, probably worked here before he died.  Shane cocked his gun and pointed it at the walker.  I put my hand out and said.  “Wait.  Like I said.”  I pulled my hand back as I took out my knife; I pricked my middle finger making it bleed.  Then rubbed it on the chain links of the fence, the walker moved faster as it smelled my blood.

It growled louder as it grabbed the fence and started to lick at the blood I’d left behind.  I took the knife and thrust it through its forehead right between the eyes.  It was easier not to think of them as men and women, just its, because that’s what they were now, things that moved and growled and ate people.  I pulled my knife out and it collapsed on to the ground.

Shane looked at me again.  “Gun’s quick, easy, but other ways to do this.”  I looked at him as I told him this; he needed to learn that there was another way besides guns.  “One more, your turn.”  A walker growled as it got closer.  Shane turned and looked at it.

It too, was dressed in a uniform like the man I’d just killed.  Shane pulled out his knife and repeated my motion; once it collapsed I walked to where the gate met the fence pole it was chained too with a padlock.  I grabbed one side, Shane grabbed the other and together we broke the chain in half, it was rusty and old and affected by the weather so it easily snapped between our two strengths in a matter of seconds.

Shane went back to the car and got his shot gun while I pushed to gate open, I pulled out my pistol and we both headed inside to check for supplies and make sure this place was safe to leave Randall.  As we got to the brick building, the main building of the works station there was open cans and trash littered along the side.  It was a mess.  The wind was blowing which helped cool us off some as Shane moved to a connected building to look in the windows and I went around back of the brick one.

Crows cawed as he we moved on, burnt bodies in the grass, empty bus that had its doors open.  I walked in the grass to the bodies; I counted about four, burnt, rotting, decayed flesh.  They weren’t moving.  I looked and saw Shane moved to the doors of the bus and walked in, checking it for any walkers.  I didn’t want to leave Randall here if it wasn’t safe for him to survive on his own, what happened after that was not our fault.

I watched him from the outside just in case he was attacked, he wasn’t, no walkers.  He came back outside.  He gathered the two walkers we killed from the fence while I got several gas cans I found around the station and took them to the big yellow gas truck, a few paces from where Shane was laying the bodies.  It still had lots of fuel in it, so I used that to fill up the cans.

“Hey, Rick.”  Shane called I bent over one of the cans checking to make sure it was filling up, I looked at him as I grunted when I stood, I was getting to old for this.  I walked over as Shane was checking the bodies; he spoke as I got closer.  “I don’t see any bites.”

“Gotta be scratches then—this one’s hand,” I pointed to the one Shane killed.  “Other one’s cheek.”  I knew the truth and I didn’t want to believe what Jenner had told me, I couldn’t tell them, ‘cause I didn’t want to believe it.  “They had walkers here—burned bodies down the hill.”  So I made up a bull shit reason why they didn’t have bites, and hoped I’d been right.

“I guess it gotta be scratches then, huh?”  He asked, I nodded in agreement then moved off to get back to filling up the gas cans.  Once that was done Shane went back to the car, I waited at the fence as he drove it inside, then closed the fence behind him.

He parked and started to open the trunk as I walked over, the kid was still firmly tied and I could hear the rock music we had playing in his ears.  He grunted as I grabbed his bound legs moving them over the side and then Shane and I together each grabbed an arm and got him to his feet as he grunted and then he hopped as we moved him.

We walked him between the bus and fuel tank, as he grunted and groaned in pain.  We got him a fair distance from the car, and then pushed him to his knees before I took off the hood.  Shane took off the tape from his mouth, while I got the ones on his ears.  I pulled out the ear buds and turned off the music as he asked.  “The hell is this?”

Shane and I started to head back to the car, he was watching, as he spoke.  “Oh, come on don’t be stupid.  I owe you guys.”  We ignored him, his hands and feet were still bound as he turned around on his knees to watch us walk away.  “I can help protect what you’ve got.”  He called to us.  “Why would you save my life just to kill me by leaving me here?  One guy—one guy can’t make it alone.  That’s why I was with those dudes—I was alone.”

I stopped took out my knife, opened it and threw it on the ground, it clattered as it came to rest a few paces from us.  “Don’t be stupid!  I’m not like them!”  He screamed trying to get us to listen.  We kept moving, as I tried to ignore my conscience that told me this was wrong.  “I’m just some guy, I used to watch football and screw around on the internet.  I lived with my mom!  I lost her like you lost people.  I went to school with Maggie for God’s sake!”

Shane and I stopped as we looked at him; he was lying on his stomach watching us.  He knew where Maggie lived, which meant if he went back to his friends then he could easily lead them to us.  We couldn’t leave him and risk that.  This kid, was an idiot, he should’ve kept his mouth shut to save his own life.

“I went to church.  I rode the bench on varsity baseball.”  He continued to speak.  I started walking back, Shane followed.

“You went to school with Maggie?”  I asked.  He didn’t answer as he must’ve realized what his big mouth had done.

“You go to school with Maggie?”  Shane asked.  “Answer the question!  Did you go to school with Maggie?”

“I—it—she didn’t know me, didn’t even know I existed.”  He said, well that explained why she didn’t say anything, but he did, he knows her, and that’s problem.  We stopped as he continued.  “I mean I knew her.  I knew who her dad was.”  We had a huge problem.  Shane and I turned again and started to walk away.

“There is no way I would ever do anything to hurt her or her family.”  He told us, I wasn’t sure we could believe that.

“Jesus.”  Shane said as he ran his hands across his scalp.

“Or you, or your people.”  We stopped, I didn’t know what to do and he continued to plead with us to let him live, let him stay with us.  “I’m not like the guys I was with!”  He was up on that roof, he shot at us, he could’ve killed either me, Glenn and his baby, or Hershel, he was just as dangerous in that moment.

I looked at him as Shane had his back to him and whispered to me.  “He knows where the farm is, Rick.  Where we are he knows.  Say he finds his way back to his people…”  I didn’t speak, I was thinking it myself.  Shane pulled his gun out and aimed it at the kid.

“Shane, no!”  I screamed as I grabbed his arm, he fired missing Randal by inches.  Shane fell back onto the ground next to one of the police vehicles sitting there; he sat up as I spoke.  “Not now, just not now.”

Shane sat back against the cruiser, one leg stretched out the other bent with his foot on the ground as his arm rested on his knee while he looked at me.  “Well, when, Rick?  When?”  Shane asked.  I kicked his gun away.

“When I’ve had a chance to think about it.”  I told him, I turned around when Randal begged.

“Don’t let him kill me.  Please don’t.”

“Shut up!”  I shouted at him as I walked a few feet from Shane.  “We’re going back; it’s a man’s life.”  I told Shane as I looked at him.  “I need a night to think it through.”

Shane pointed at Randall as he spoke.  “You’re gonna bring this piece of garbage—this piece of garbage who—he shot at you, Rick.  He ran with men who tried to kill you.”  His voice started to rise as he continued.  “You gonna bring him back to where Lori sleeps?  To where Carl sleeps?”

“He’ll be locked up in the barn, unless you bust it open.”  I told him not forgetting what happened the last time something was locked in the barn.

“Oh, don’t start that shit.”  Shane muttered.

“I’m taking the night.”  I told him as I turned around.

“Man, you take that—you think on it, Rick, keep struggling with it.”  I looked at him as he continued.  “It ain’t hard, man; the right choice is the one that keeps us alive.”  I couldn’t believe that, to take a man’s life just to save my own, to believe it was that easy to kill someone.  Those men in the bar had been self-defense, mind, Hershel, Glenn and his unborn child, they were going to kill us, Randall is defenseless at this moment and it was cold blooded murder, and I couldn’t believe that for Shane it was that easy to take a life.  It didn’t always have to end like that, or at least that’s what I had thought at the time.  He stood up as he continued.  “It’s always the same with you.  It’s like the first moment—it’s whenever you’re put to the test.”

I walked up to him as I spoke.  “Stop acting like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules.  There are no rules, man.  We’re lost.”

“No, no, no, man I know exactly where I am.”  Shane told me.

“You don’t know shit anymore.”  I informed him, he thought he knew what was right, he was wrong, and he had always been wrong ‘cause it didn’t work.  All it did was get him killed, get others we cared about killed, his way, didn’t work.

“I don’t think you can do it, Rick.”

“It’s my call, man.”

“I don’t think you can keep them safe.”  That pissed me off, I looked at him; in the eyes he meant what he said.  I pushed him up against the car in anger, he retaliated as he head butt me knocking me back then pushed me away as I turned and fell to my hands and knees.  He pushed at my back and grabbed my gun pulling it out, I threw myself back and turned throwing him back against the car as it skidded several inches and had a dent in it as I kept him pressed against it as I started to hit him in the face, once, twice, three times.

Shane wrapped his arms around him and squeezed, it hurt as I grunted when he flipped us around, he started to hit me, I hit back.  All the while Randall headed for the knife to get himself free while we were so busy fighting each other to pay much attention to anything else, and that nearly cost us our lives.

I grabbed his face and pushed him back up against the fuel tanker, then started punching him in the stomach.  We turned and he pushed me against the front of a truck.  I punched him hard in the face, he elbowed me, nearly broke my nose, then grabbed the back of my neck and tossed me.  He was stronger than I was; he had the leverage as I went rolling on the ground.

He grabbed the motorcycle I was next to and pulled it on top of my legs.  I grunted in pain as I grabbed my sore leg.  Shane was panting as he walked away.  “Damn!”  I screamed before using my strength to push it off of me.  I saw Shane walk to a truck and get on his hands and knees going for his gun I had kicked away.  I swore in pain as I got back to my feet to stop him.

He aimed the gun at Randall about to fire when I came up behind him.   “No!”  I grabbed his arms he fought back as we both landed on the ground and started to roll around for control of the gun.

“Get off me, man.”  Shane gritted between his teeth as he fought to get free of my hold.  While we were wrestling for the gun Randall was crawling for the knife I’d left on the ground for him.  Shane was in pain that was easy to tell, he was constantly in pain by the end, and I think it was because his body couldn’t handle the mutated strength he had.  It was literally ripping his muscles apart during our last confrontation, he was crazed with pain, and there was nothing we could’ve done differently to change the outcome of what happened.

Finally I got him rolled over onto his back and I was on top trying to restrain him as he was fighting to get loose.  I hit him several more times as he was running out of steam, I was tired myself but the pain was wearing on him and he couldn’t hold out fighting with me as long as I could, that was the only upper hand I had.

As Shane laid there I stood up, he wiped the blood from his mouth onto his sleeve.  I looked at him ignoring the fact that Randall had gotten the knife and was starting to cut himself free.  “You’re not doing this!”  I shouted at Shane as he got to his knees.  I was bleeding from my lip and a cut by my left eye.  Shane had a matching cut next to his own eye.  “You don’t get to make these calls anymore.”  We were both panting.  “I won’t let you.”

He stood next to a trailer, and grabbed a rusty metal wrench used on big rigs.  He looked at me and threw it as he yelled.  I fell back into a bunch of trash bags as the wrench flew by me and crashed into a window of the building behind us.  Now we had been so caught up in our fighting each other that we didn’t pay attention to the sounds around us, or we would’ve known that this building, this public works station was not empty.

 I looked at Shane who was breathing hard as he saw himself in the reflection of what was left of that broken window he’d just smashed.  I saw realization cross Shane’s face for an instant.   That’s when I heard it, the growling, I turned my head as I heard more glass braking as a walker fell out of it and I stood as it to got up and grabbed at me.  I pushed it down on the trash I had been seconds before and took my other knife and stuck it in the things neck.  It still clawed at me; I pulled it out and thrust the blade into its forehead killing it.

I heard more growling I glanced up to see other walkers falling out of the building, now you know how we found ourselves in this precarious and dangerous situation.  The walkers were stumbling and falling out, Shane backed up, I took the walker I had just killed and pulled it on top of myself as I watched Shane make the smart decision to run.  There was nothing I could do, just watch as the walkers gave chase as Shane ran.  Once the walkers had come out of the building and were too distracted with Shane, I pushed the one hiding me off then stood up, bloody knife still clutched in my fist.

A straggler came out of the building behind me and stood on the dumpsters, I glanced at it as I heard it growling.  I turned and ran, falling to my knees and belly between the police cars as it fell from the dumpsters to follow me.  I heard more coming around the other side as I reached under one of the cars and grabbed my gun that I had lost during the scuffle with Shane.  I aimed and fired at one walker that had come around the vehicle to eat me, hitting it in the head.  He fell on top of me as I groaned in pain.

I aimed to hit the second one, the first trapping me, it grabbed my hand as I shot missing and hitting a window in the police cruiser to my left.  He landed on the first guy trying to bite me, I got my hand free and shot it between the eyes and that’s when I saw the third male walker.  I now had two on me and nowhere to go.  The third fell right on top of the other two and started reaching for my face, seeing as that was the only visible living meat he could grab for.

Normally I’d toss all three off no problem but after fighting with Shane I was out of energy, so I groaned and pulled my face away from its clawing hand not wanting to get scratched by its nails.  Its other hand came around the first guy’s head grabbing at my shoulder and arm that I was trying to use to push ‘em off of me.  I started to try and aim my gun with my other hand, but the body’s it was pushing on me was pinning my hand to the car, and this was an unusual day for me.  I mean literally the fight with Shane had sapped my strength and my stamina was nearly depleted as well.  The only thing keeping me going at this moment was fear and adrenalin pumping through my system. 

Finally in an act of desperation, I stuck the muzzle of my gun into the first dead guy’s mouth and fired, shooting through his brain into the one still trying to get at me.  I fired, and fired, and fired then it clicked empty as I was still trying to shoot the thing.  Luckily three shots did the trick.

I could hear the groaning and growling from the other walkers around as they were chasing Shane and Randall.  It was time to move and get us out of here, before we all become tonight’s dinner.  I saw my knife on the ground next to me where I had dropped it when I fell to retrieve my pistol, I grabbed it, then mustered what little strength I had left and rolled my body using the gun still in the walkers mouth as leverage pushed the three dead off me.  I pulled my gun out taking a few teeth with it, and then struggled to my feet.

I saw Randall headed in my direction, he didn’t see me, his legs were free his hands in front of him but still tied.  I came out behind the police car with my gun aimed, it was empty but he didn’t know that.  He jumped and turned to run; I grabbed the back of his shirt and pushed him onto the ground next to a black car sitting there.  “Oh!  Holy Shit.”  He screamed in fear.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”  I asked in his ear.

“What did you expect me to do?”  He asked in a whisper as I let his shirt go and sat him back against the car.  “Please, just let me go, man.”  He begged as I holstered my empty pistol.  “That’s what you came here for.  I’m not gonna tell anyone anything.”  He promised.

“Shut up.”  I grabbed Shane’s gun that was lying there after our fight, and cocked it.

“You wanna stay here?  Help the guy that just tried to bash your head in?”  He asked as I peeked over the roof of the car to the bus where I could see Shane was trapped, the walkers trying to get at him, his strength the only thing keeping that door closed.  If he was as tired as I was, he wasn’t going to last long.  “There’s ten roamers there.”  He commented.  “You think you can take them on?”  No, but I have to do something, Shane and I might be fighting right now, but he’s my friend.   He was my best friend and I still think of him as my brother, he was just driven crazy.

“They don’t see us we can get out of here.”  He suggested.  I couldn’t do it, he saw my determination.  “Oh, come on.  Fine!”  He hissed.  “But let me have a gun.  I’ll help you, I’ll show you.  I can, I know it.”  I had an idea

“Let’s go.”  I grabbed his shirt and started pushing him along.

“What?”  He asked confused.

“He did this.  We’re going.”  I told him.

“Thank you, oh, thank you.”  He said as I led him around the fence to one of the open gates across the field.  I looked back and saw Shane watching us.

For a second there, I thought about leaving him, but I knew in my heart I could never live with myself, and besides, he was my brother and I couldn’t leave him.  No matter what he’d done, he was still my friend and he didn’t deserve to die like that.

I got back to the two dead walkers Shane and I had killed earlier, across from the gas cans I’d filled.  I tightened the rope around Randall’s wrists, before I let him go.  “Stay there.”  I ordered.  I knelt down at the gun belts Shane had found on ‘em and pulled a pistol from one of the holsters.  I stood up as I heard the growling and pounding on the bus doors, I was determined to get him.

I grabbed his hands and cut him loose.  “Grab the gas cans.”  I ordered, together we got the cans in the back of our VW bug, and I put Randal behind the wheel.  I took the duct tape that I used on his mouth and ears earlier and put it around his neck, low so he didn’t choke and the seat keeping him in the car, before I got into the passenger side.  “We’re going back; you’re going to drive around to the back of bus while I shoot the walkers.”  I informed him.  “Drive.”  I ordered.  He started the car and headed back, we drove right through the fence, I screamed as I leaned out the passenger side window.  “Shane!”

That got his attention inside the bus, and then aiming one of the guns I started to shoot the walkers as Randall drove passed, I screamed again.  “Shane!  Go for the back door!  Come on!”  I shot four, five shots as Randal drove to the back of the bus.  Once Shane was no longer holding the door closed what walkers I didn’t get started going inside.

Randall drove up as the back door opened.  “Come on, get in!”  I shouted.  Shane jumped into the open back window feet first sliding into the backseat.  “Go, man, go!  Come on!”  I screamed at Randall as the walkers were headed our way.  I fired again as he backed up right over a downed walker.

Then putting the car in drive as I slid back down into my seat Randall hit the gas and drove through the closed gates to the back of the public works station, leaving the walkers to growl at our retreating form.

“Whoo! Yeah!  Hell Yeah!”  Randall screamed in excitement.  “You see that, you see what we did?”  Randall asked as Shane straightened up in the backseat.

I pointed my gun at him.  “Just keep driving.”  I ordered, now was not the time for him to act like he was part of this team or group, ‘cause he wasn’t.  He looked back out the window as we all panted, covered in sweat, grime and blood.

Once we were clear of the town I made him pull over.  Then together Shane and I bound his wrists, and ankles together, put the ear buds back in his ears, taped his mouth and ears.  Then I grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him back to the trunk; he moaned and groaned as I pushed him into the hatchback with the gas cans.  I pulled out the black hood from before and covered his face, before I closed the trunk.

We leaned against the back bumper, I looked at Shane.  “If you wanna kill me, you’re gonna have to do better than a wrench.  Probably gonna have to kill that boy, but I am gonna think about it a night.  It can’t be that easy, killing someone, killing anyone.  You know that.”  He didn’t say anything, just stared at the ground; I looked out at the highway behind us.

This conversation goes all the way back to this morning as I stated again.  “That is my wife.  That is my son.  That is my child.”  He looked at me; I looked him in the eyes.  “If you’re gonna be with us, you gotta follow my lead, you gotta trust me.”  What happened at the public works station, happened because he didn’t trust me, he took matters into his own hands and look what happened.  I couldn’t have that again, not if he was going to stay with us.

I stood away from the car and turned to face him.  “It’s time for you to come back.”  I pulled out his gun, and handed it to him butt first, he took it.  I moved then to the driver’s seat, while he got in the passengers and we started the eighteen miles back home, each of us caught up in our own thoughts.

I looked at him as he watched another walker out in the field.  I had no idea, in that moment what he was thinking, what he was planning, I thought I had gotten through to him.  That I had succeeded in bringing my brother home, oh, how wrong I was.  All he had on his mind was death…. _Mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missing Scenes for this chapter will come in the next week or so, be on the look out, there will be one or two surprises.


	11. Judge, Jury, Execution

Judge, Jury, Execution

 Daryl's POV

 

Yesterday Shane and Rick had left with Randall to drop him off; Beth appeared to want to kill herself, even tried but couldn’t go through with it.  Glenn and I were doing better, he was teaching me to read, when Maggie had shown up and now she has her own mutation.  Last night they came back with Randall, turned out he knew Maggie from collage; we couldn’t send him back out there, and risk him bringing the others.  At least not until we knew what we were up against.

So I took matters into my own hands the next morning, I walked into the shed where we were keeping Randall chained up and I started interrogating him, let’s just say there was a lot of questions and I planned on getting the answers.  Weather it was painless, or painful, that was up to him, and how talkative he was going to be.

Randall’s hands were chained to the wall behind his back, he was sitting on a chair, I punched him a few times; he needed to understand that I didn’t care how much pain I caused him as long as he told me what I wanted to know.  I had Glenn and my unborn child to look after, Rick had done well by me so I’d back up any play he wanted to go with, I didn’t trust Shane never had, never would.

Both Shane and Rick were pretty beat up, so I knew something went down, they didn’t discuss it, but I wasn’t stupid.  I also knew that Shane had been at odds with Rick lately, mostly because of Lori.

I took another shot at Randall’s face sending him to the ground, not for the first time in the last several minutes I’ve done this.  He grunted and cried again, he looked up at me, I was the only one that could give him any mercy at this moment and I was not in the mood to do so.  I punched him again, I backed a few steps, and then did it again, he grunted in pain as he spit out some blood from his split lip.

“I told you—”

“You told me shit!”  So far he hadn’t told me what I needed to know, how many guys, what have they done and what we can expect should he bring them back.  I grabbed him by his shirt and lifted him to push him back into the wall.

“I barely knew those guys, I met ‘em on the road.”  So same story, he’s said that three times already.

“How many in your group?”  I asked as I was taking a breather from punching him.  He shook his head, he wasn’t answering.  He had a black eye, busted lip, cuts along the right side of his face where I’d been laying into him.  So now I’d switch targets from his face to his bum leg.  He started freaking out as I pulled out my hunting knife from its holster attached to my belt.

“Uh, nonononononononono.  Come on, man.”  I stabbed the blade into the floor next to his leg as I got in his face, he jumped at that.

“How many?!”  I shouted anger in my voice.

“Uh, thirty, thirty, thirty guys.”  He finally answered.

“Where?”  I asked, he didn’t answer right away, so I ripped the bandage off his wound, where Hershel performed surgery to repair the damage the fence caused, he screamed in pain.

“I don’t know I swear.  We were never anyplace more than a night.”  He said as I ran the flat of the blade against the scab of his wound.

“Scouting?  Planning on staying local?”  I asked.  I needed to know, I was desperate to keep Glenn and our baby safe.

“I—I don’t know, they—they left me behind.”

I used one hand to hold his leg still as I placed the tip of the blade against his cut.  “Did you ever pick off a scab?”  I asked a little sadistically.

“Come on, man!”  He screamed in panic.  “I’m—I’m trying to cooperate.”

“Start real slow at first.”  I told him as I moved the blade not digging in, just grazing along the length of the wound that was still healing, not causing any damage yet.

“No.”  He groaned.

“Sooner or later, you’ve just gotta rip it off.”  I told him preparing to cut it off.

“Okay, okay.”  He relented.  “th-th-th-they have weapons—”  He stammered out.  “Heavy stuff, automatics.”  He paused and I prepared the knife.

“Bu-bu-but—but I didn’t do anything.”  He pleaded.

“Your boys shot at my boys, tried to take this farm.  Kill my boyfriend; you think I was just going to forgive that.”  He was surprised by that.  “Korean kid, he’s mine and you’re boys nearly killed him.  You just went along for the ride?  You’re trying to tell me you’re innocent?”

“Yes!”  He shouted, and started breathing heavily.  “These—these people took me in.  Not just guys—a whole group of ‘em.”  He was talking; I pulled my knife back and stood up as he continued.  “Men and women, kids too—just like you people.  Thought I’d have a better chance with them, you know?  But…”  He paused to swallow.

“We go out, scavenge—just the men.”  He licked his lips, I felt something bad was about to be divulged.  “One night we—we found this little campsite.  A man and his two daughters—teenagers, you know?  Real young, real cute.”  He looked at the ground then glanced up at me, I paused in my pacing and starred at him, I realized with that one look what he’d been implying.

He looked back at the ground as he continued his story confirming my suspicions.  “Their daddy had to watch while these guys—they—” He got panicked as he looked back up at me.  “And they didn’t even kill him afterwards.  They just—they just made him watch as his daughters—they just—just—just left him there.”

I shifted my foot; he saw the look on my face, the anger and hate at what he’d done, what he had watched happen.  “No, but-but—but I didn’t touch those girls. No, I swear, I didn’t to—” I moved and kicked him, he cried out as he fell on his side again.  “Please.”  He begged, I wondered how much those girls begged, wanted them to stop, to have mercy, to help and he just stood there and watched.

“Please, you gotta believe me, man.  I’m not like that.  I ain’t like that.”  He cried as he continued to beg.  “Please, please, you gotta believe me.”  I kicked him hard, he screamed out.  I didn’t care, he was a coward, he watched them rape those girls, and he stayed with them, so in my opinion, he was just like them.  I started punching him again out of anger at what he’d allowed to happen, and for shooting at Glenn.

I left a few minutes later and headed back to camp, I saw them and started hearing their conversation.  Lori was pouring a cup of water as she asked.  “So what you gonna do?  We’d all feel better if we knew the plan.”  Standing next to her was Carl, Andrea, Glenn, Carol, Maggie and Dale; she was directing her question to Rick, who was on the other side of her and the small fire that had been used for breakfast, Shane was next to him, T-Dog was behind those two.

She handed the mug to Carl as Andrea asked.  “Is there a plan?”

“We gonna keep him here?”  Glenn questioned.

“We’ll know soon enough.”  Rick said as I walked up, they all looked in my direction.  I had my cross bow on my back, and my knuckles were bloody from beating Randall’s face in; he was still alive, just bruised.

“Boy there’s got a gang, thirty men.”  I informed them as I stopped near Glenn.  “They have heavy artillery and they ain’t looking to make friends.  They roll through here, our boys are dead.  And our women, they’re gonna—they’re gonna wish they were.”

“What did you do?”  Carol asked looking at my bruised hand as I held the strap of my bow.  Lori stood up with a mug of her own.

I looked at my bloody knuckles.  “Had a little chat.”  Carol didn’t seem to approve as she turned around to get back to the chores.

I walked to Glenn and put my arm around him as he hugged me while Rick spoke.  “No one goes near this guy.”

Lori walked over to him.  “Rick, what are you gonna do?”

“We have no choice, he’s a threat.  We have to eliminate the threat.”  Rick informed us, Shane, T-Dog and Dale were right next to him.

“You’re just gonna kill him?”  Dale asked disbelief in his voice.  I let Glenn go, as I grabbed some of the food that was still there and handed him a plate.  He needed to eat more, and he knew it as he didn’t fight me on it.

“It’s settled, I’ll do it today.”  Rick said, and then started to walk off in the direction of the barn, Dale followed, I moved to the R.V. I could hear them fine and leaning against the R.V. I could see them to.  I did a lot of observing of Dale and his actions that day; I’m writing them to preserve his memory.  He was the last of our humanity, and losing him, was a little bit like losing a piece of our soul.

“You can’t do this.”  Dale said as he walked with Rick.   “You don’t wanna do this I know you don’t.”

“I thought about it all night.”  Rick informed him.  “Knowing what we know now, I don’t see a way out of it.”

“But you can’t just decide on your own to take someone’s life.”  Dale waved his hand trying to emphasize his point.

“The group seemed supportive.”  Rick told him, they had gotten several feet away, but even so I could still hear them, as time moved on I had my hearing tested.  At three miles is about as far as I can go, when I’m really focused and concentrating.  When I’m not, about fifty feet, so they hadn’t reached the three mile marker yet.

“What, because they didn’t speak back?  You didn’t let ‘em.”  Rick stopped moving and turned around, he saw me; then turned his attention on Dale as he continued.  “There’s gotta be a—a process.”

“And what would that be?  We can’t call witnesses, go before a judge.”  Rick stated.

“So he’s automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?  He’s just a kid.  Gimme—gimme some time to talk to everyone...”

“We can’t—” Rick tried to interrupt

“…Try to figure out another way—”

“No, we can’t drag this out.  People are scared.”

“Which is why they need time to discuss this.”

“No, no, no they need to be safe.  I owe ‘em that.”  Rick turned and started for the barn again.

“You think about your son.”  Dale raised his voice; Rick stopped and looked at him again.  “The message that you’re giving him—shoot first, think later.”  Rick sighed; Dale continued to bargain for time.  “I’m asking for one day to talk to everybody.  You can give me that, think—think about Carl.”

“I am.”  He looked off in the distance, then back at Dale.  “We reconvene at sunset, then what happens, happens.”  Rick stormed off for the barn, leaving Dale standing there as distant thunder was heard.

I turned as I heard Andrea walk into the R.V.  I took off my cross bow as I leaned against the R.V. while checking my arrows, they needed to be cleaned and sharpened.  Dale walked past me; he grabbed his rifle leaning against the R.V. before he went inside.  I heard cupboards being opened and closed, so I assumed she was looking for something.

“I need a favor.”  Dale said first thing.

“Did you move the gun bag?”  Andrea asked.

“Yeah.”  I heard shuffling; the door was wide open so it wasn’t hard to hear all this, seeing as I was maybe a couple of feet from the doorway.

I believe he’d placed the gun bag under the table in a cubby area for storing things.  He pulled it out for her and put on the table.  I heard her footsteps as she walked over to him, and took a seat to go through the gun bag for what she was after.

“I need you to guard Randall, protect him.”  With this group and especially with a certain member of our group that wasn’t a bad idea.

“Why?”  Andrea asked.

“Rick’s giving me time to talk to the others, try and talk some sense into them.  But if Shane finds out—” That would be the member of our group I meant.

“You think he’d just shoot the guy himself?”

“You know killing the boy had to be his idea.  Are you with him on this?”  While Dale and Andrea were talking Glenn walked over and kissed my cheek, whispered something about going to the farm house to get out of the heat.  The nights were getting cooler, but the days were still hot, so I kissed him and watched him walk off.  I trusted Glenn, I knew after what had happened between him and Maggie would never happen again.  I didn’t trust her, I wasn’t ready to forgive her just yet; she still had a long way to go in order to earn either of those two things.

Back to what was going on between Dale and Andrea as I she spoke.  “He’s a threat.”  She obviously agreed with Shane.  “Tell me this isn’t all the ammo?”  She asked as she riffled through the bag.

“You’re a civil rights lawyer.”

“Was.”

“You fight with words, the power of ideas.”  I heard Andrea pull a gun and check the clip for how many rounds were left.  She was obviously taking stock of what we had left from the gun bag Rick had brought way back when we first met him in Atlanta.  “Using a—a gun, that’s his way.”  Dale was speaking of Shane.

She stopped riffling and turned her attention on Dale.  “You really want to debate about saving a guy who will lead his buddies right to our door?”

“That’s what a civilized society does.”

“Who say’s we’re civilized anymore?”  Andrea asked him seriously.  She was right, he was also right.  Dale’s words over the next several hours I will never forget, I didn’t always live up to them, but I never forgot them.

“No, the world we knew is gone, but keeping our humanity?  That’s a choice.”  It got to Andrea as I heard her sigh, and Dale pushed the gun closer to her.

“I’ll watch your prisoner, but not because I think you’re right.”  I heard her pick up her gun and saw an extra clip in her back pocket when she walked out.  She headed to the shed to keep watch, I headed up to where I’d been keeping myself, it was a nice place to go, far enough away that if I didn’t concentrate I couldn’t hear all that chatter at camp.  Sometimes being able to hear everything within the tents and the house gave me a headache.

I was cleaning my arrows and sharpening them, I started loading up my quiver attached to my bow when I heard footsteps.  I looked and saw Dale.  “I needed some peace and quiet, Carol or Glenn send you?”  I asked.  Though I already had a feeling of why he was there, after all I hadd heard between him and Rick and in the R.V. with Andrea.

“They’re not the only ones that’s concerned about you.  I heard what happened, yesterday with Maggie, but that’s not why I’m here.”  Ever since Sofia I’ve been having difficulty coming back, staying away more and keeping to myself, with only Glenn as company.

“Good, this groups broken.”  It was, even me and Glenn were broken, especially after what happened with Maggie, a part of me feared that he and I would never get to where we had been.  Luckily I was wrong.  There was a time when I thought I was better off fending for myself, and at times it seemed I was right.  Caring can be a weakness, but it can also be a great strength, and it got me through some hard times like the coming days, and months after the farm fell.

“You act like you don’t care.”  Dale commented as I reached for my jacket.

“I don’t, about anyone but Glenn.”  At the time I truly didn’t care what happened to any of ‘em, or so I thought.

“So live or die, you don’t care what happens to Randall?”  Dale asked.

“Nope.”  I didn’t, he shot at Glenn, nearly killed my unborn baby.  So what happened to him wasn’t my problem as long as he was no longer a danger to my child.  And so I was leaving it up to Rick and the others.  I grabbed my bow.

“Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid’s life, if it really doesn’t matter one way or the other?”

“Didn’t peg you for a desperate son of a bitch.”  I fixed my caller before swinging my bow onto my back.

“Your opinion makes a difference.”

“Man, ain’t nobody looking at me for nothing.”  Rick had Shane, Glenn and I were cool, but he could take care of himself, he didn’t really need me, or so I thought.  Everybody else had others to go to not me.  I started to walk towards the woods.

“Carol is.  What about Glenn, he looks to you to protect and provide for him and that baby.  And I am, right now.”  I stopped and looked at him as he continued.  “And you obviously—you have Rick’s ear.”

“Rick just looks to Shane.  Let him.”  I started walking away again, I didn’t like Shane, I never trusted the guy, and the way he’s been indifferent to Glenn, not to mention getting between Rick and his wife.

“You cared about what happened to Sofia.”  I stopped again, and looked at him.  “Cared what it meant to the group.  Torturing people?  That isn’t you.”  I started slowly walking up to him as he continued.  “You’re a decent man.  So is Rick.  Shane—he’s different.”

“Why’s that?  ‘Cause he killed Otis?”  I asked, I had known, I knew his story had been bullshit but Rick and the others wanted to believe it so I kept my mouth shut.

Dale looked surprised, he moved closer.  “He tell you that?”

“He told some story—how Otis covered him, saved his ass.”  Dale stopped right in front of me; I continued to explain how I knew.  “He showed up with the dead guy’s gun.  Rick ain’t stupid.  If he didn’t figure that out, it’s ‘cause he didn’t wanna.”  I turned around and headed for the woods again.  “It’s like I said—groups broken.”  I walked into the woods to think and hunt for a little while.

I started coming back when the sun was at half mast, it’d be setting soon, I didn’t find anything good to get, a few squeals that was about it.  As I was walking up I saw Rick on the porch of the house, I heard the screen door and Lori join him.  “It’s almost time.”  Lori told him, talking about the meeting we would be having soon.

I changed directions to put my cross bow in my tent, I could still hear them as Lori spoke as she walked up to Rick who was leaning against one of the posts on the porch.  “I know this isn’t easy for you.”

“It isn’t easy for anyone.”  Rick told her, I looked at him.  He saw me, knew I could hear him, I ducked into my tent next to Glenn’s and put my squeals and bow away as Rick continued.  “But I thought it through.  I made the call.  I’m ready to do this.”

I stepped out and headed back towards the farm house, Rick looked at Lori, and she looked right back.  “You don’t have to be the one to do it—Shane, Daryl.”  She glanced at me as I walked up the steps of the porch, I could do it if Rick couldn’t.

“Yeah, yeah, it has to be me.”  He was determined to be the one to end Randall’s life.  I walked into the house.  “I brought him back here, maybe I shouldn’t have.  I gotta keep these people safe.  That is what I’m gonna do.”

“What about Dale?”  Lori asked, Dale had his problems, I won’t say he was wrong, ‘cause he wasn’t.  I saw it then, I see it now, we made mistakes, all of us.  We can’t change them, we can only learn from them, and we hope those that read our story will take heed when the time comes for you to do the same things, don’t make our mistakes.

“He’s got an uphill battle.”  Rick sighed then continued.  “You said you support me.”

“I do.”

“But you didn’t say you think I’m making the right call.”  I saw Glenn walk up to me, I sat on the couch in the living area, as I waited for Lori’s response; she didn’t give one.  “This is the right call.”  Rick told her as Glenn sat next to me.  I heard Lori agree with Rick, and that was the end of their conversation, as we waited for the others to arrive, Glenn showed me a watch that Hershel gave him.  Told him how proud he was that Glenn came clean when Maggie wouldn’t and that his own step son Shawn wouldn’t have done that, he gave him that watch, and told him he thought of him as a son.  Glenn was happy; I think he was more pleased with having a father figure again then having the watch.

Shane and T-Dog showed up and sat on the porch chairs with Lori and Rick.  She was waiting for Carl to show up, Jimmy was upstairs, Glenn and I were sitting on the couch talking, when I heard Rick speak from outside as the front door opened.  “Let’s gather up.”  Carol and Andrea walked in.

“Come on, Carl.  I want you to stay with Jimmy.”  Lori told him as they were heading up the porch.  I stood and Glenn moved to the join the rest in the front room.

“But—But I wanna listen.”  Carl said as I saw T-Dog and Shane walk in.

“Hm-mmm.  Not this time, come on.”  Lori told him as Rick came in followed by Lori and Carl.

From left to right at the fireplace right across from where I was standing near the front door, it was Andrea, Shane, T-Dog, Patricia sitting on one of the chairs.  On the couch next to her, were Maggie and Hershel.  Carol was leaning against the opened front door, then Lori against the front door jamb,  Rick was standing behind a pink ornate couch, I was standing a few feet behind him next to a chest of drawers against the wall.  Glenn was sitting on the piano bench and Dale was leaning against the archway to the dining room.  Carl stopped next to me, Rick and Lori both looked at him, he sighed then headed upstairs where Jimmy was.

As we heard a door upstairs close, Glenn asked.  “So how do we do this?  Just take a vote?”

“Does it have to be unanimous?”  Andrea asked.

“How about majority rules?”  Lori suggested.

“Well, let’s—let’s just see where everybody stands then we can talk through the options.”  Rick suggested as he walked to the couch that was in front of him and put his hand on the ornate backing.

“Well, where I sit, there’s only one way to move forward.”  Shane piped in.

“Killing him, right?”  Dale asked as he looked at Shane and the rest of us.  “I mean why bother to even take a vote?  It’s clear which way the wind’s blowing.”

“Well, if people believe we should spare him I wanna know.”  Rick said, as I shifted putting one of my arms on the chest of drawers next to me.

“Well, I can tell you it’s a small group—maybe just me and Glenn.”  I looked at Glenn; I didn’t know his thoughts on this matter.

Glenn looked at Dale, I couldn’t see his eyes, but I did see Dale’s reaction.  “Look I—I think you’re pretty much right about everything, all the time, but this—”

“They’ve got you scared.”  Dale interrupted.

“He shot at me Dale, me and Rick.  He’s not one of us, I don’t trust him.  We’ve—we’ve lost too many people already.”  Glenn told him.

“How about you?”  Dale pointed to Maggie.  “Do you agree with this?”

Maggie looked at Rick.  “Couldn’t we continue keeping him prisoner?”

“Just another mouth to feed.”  I told her.

“It may be a lean winter.”  Hershel informed us.  Several steers did bust out last night, several were never found, so there was no telling how many got lost in the woods or eaten by walkers, so that was food we weren’t gonna have.

“We could ration better.”  Lori suggested.

“Well, he could be an asset.  Give him a chance to prove himself.”  Dale suggested.

“Put him to work?”  Glenn asked.

“We’re not letting him walk around.”  Rick told us.

“We could put an escort on him.”  Maggie suggested as she stood up.

“Who wants to volunteer for that duty?”  Shane asked.

“I will.”  Dale volunteered.

“I don’t think any of us should be walking around with this guy.”  Rick said.

“He’s right.  I wouldn’t feel safe unless he was tied up.”  Lori said.

Andrea spoke up.  “We can’t exactly put chains around his ankles, sentence him to hard labor.”

“Look, say we let him join us, right?  Maybe—maybe he’s helpful, maybe he’s nice.”  Shane said sarcastically then continued seriously.  “We let our guard down and maybe he runs off, brings back his thirty men.”  I didn’t want to risk that.  I looked at Glenn as he looked at me it was clear in his eyes that, that thought scared him too.

“So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?  If we do this, we’re saying there’s no hope.”  Dale said as he threw his hands in the air then continued.  “Rule of law is dead, there is no civilization.”

“Oh my God.”  Shane groaned.

“Could you drive him further out?”  Hershel asked as he looked at Rick.  “Leave him like you planned?”

“You barely came back this time.  There are walkers you could break down.  Y-you could get lost.”  Lori said concerned.

“Or get ambushed.”  I threw in.

“They’re right.  We should not put our own people at risk.”  Glenn agreed.

Patricia never said much, so it was surprising when she stood from her seat and spoke up.  “If you go through with it, how would you do it?”  She asked Rick.  “Would he suffer?”

“We could hang him, right?  Just snap his neck.”  Shane suggested.

“I thought about that.  Shooting may be more humane.”  Rick said as he looked at Lori.  I was watching them hash this out, how to kill the guy.  I didn’t say anything, I just knew I had to keep my family alive, and that family included this group.

“And what about the body?”  T-Dog asked.  “Do we bury him?”

“Whoa—hold on, hold on.”   Dale said as he waved his hands for them to stop.  “You’re talking about this like it’s already decided.”

“You’ve been talking all day, going around in circles.  You just wanna go around in circles again?”  I said as I moved, waving my finger in the air in a circle motion to emphasize my point.  Dale had been talking and discussing this all day, it hadn’t helped any.  I moved putting my hands on Glenn’s shoulders.

“This is a young man’s life and it is worth more than a five-minute conversation!”  Dale shouted as he got worked up, we didn’t say anything as he continued.  “Is this what it’s come to?  We kill someone because we can’t decide what else to do with him?”  He looked at me and Glenn, then to Rick and Lori.

“You saved him, and now look at us.  He’s been tortured, he’s gonna be executed.”  He pointed out to the wood shed where we were keeping him locked up.  “How are we any better than those people that we’re so afraid of?”  He asked as he rung his hat in his hands.  Dale looked around at us.

“We all know what needs to be done.”  Shane said.

“No, Dale is right.  We can’t leave any stone unturned here.”  Rick told us.  “We have a responsibility—”

“So what’s the other solution?”  Andrea interrupted.

“Let Rick finish.”  Lori said.

“We haven’t come up with a single viable option yet.  I wish we could—”

Dale interrupted Andrea.  “So let’s work on it!”

“We are.”  Rick said.

“Stop it.  Just stop it.”  Carol spoke up.  “I’m sick of everybody arguing and fighting.  I didn’t ask for this.  You can’t ask us to decide something like this.  Please decide—either of you, both of you—but leave me out.”  Carol shrugged her shoulders.

“Not speaking out or killing him yourself—there’s no difference.”  Dale told her as he shook his head.

“All right, that’s enough.”  Rick said as he held his hand out to Dale, and then addressed the rest of the group.  “Anybody that wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance.”

Maggie and Patricia sat back down; Hershel was looking at the floor where he sat.   T-Dog, Shane and Andrea were quite, Rick looked at Lori, then me and Glen, and we didn’t say anything.  After a couple of minutes waiting Dale spoke up one last time to try and convince us.  He pointed to Rick as he said.  “You once said that we don’t kill the living.”

“Well, that was before the living tried to kill us.”  Rick told him.

“But don’t you see?  If we do this, the people that we were—the world that we knew is dead.”  He waved his arms at us, at himself, as he continued.  “And this new world is ugly.  It’s…harsh.  It’s—it’s survival of the fittest.  And that’s a world I don’t wanna live in.”  He turned to the rest of the group.

“And I don’t believe that any of you do.  I can’t.  Please.  Let’s just do what’s right.”  Dale had unshed tears in his eyes as his speech came to a close.  No one spoke, so he asked.  “Isn’t there anybody else who’s gonna stand with me?”

Glenn looked at him.  “Dale’s right, I don’t want our baby growing up in a world where we killed a defenseless man.”  Glenn looked at me, he squeezed his shoulders gently, I was okay with whatever he decided.

Andrea agreed after.  “He’s right.  We should try to find another way.”  She looked at Shane.  Dale looked surprised and relieved to hear that from both Glenn and Andrea.  But it was still majority vote on killing Randall.

“Anybody else?”  Rick asked as he looked around at us, I would do whatever Rick thought was best; he was leader of this group.  No one spoke up, everyone seemed resigned to Randall’s fate, Rick turned then to Dale, leaning against the back of the couch as he waited.

Dale scoffed.  “Are y’all gonna watch too?  No, you’ll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we’re slaughtering a human being.”  He breathed out as he looked at the ground and shook his head.  “I won’t be a party to it.”  Dale started to walk away.

He stopped next to me, put his hand on my shoulder as he leaned in and said.  “This group _is_ broken.”  Then moved walking out the back door as it slammed behind him.

No one else said anything as Andrea, Lori, Carol, Glenn, and T-Dog headed back to camp.  Hershel, Maggie, Patricia, Beth, and Jimmy stayed in the house.  Rick, Shane and I headed to the wood shed to grab the kid, Rick cuffed his hands behind his back, and Shane got a lantern and lit it as the sun went down.  He handed it to Rick as he started to lead the way to the barn, where the others didn’t have to hear the gun shot as clearly, Shane was behind him, I had the back of Randall’s shirt as I kept him marching forward to his execution.

As the barn came into view and we got closer Randall started to panic.  “Hold on, hold on, hold on.”  Rick grabbed the handle and opened the left barn door, we followed him in, Randall limping and pushing back against my hand, it wasn’t working.

“Wait, wait.”  He asked, I walked in after Rick, Shane followed.

“Put him there.”  Rick pointed to a spot in the middle of the barn.

“Wait.”  He tried to walk the other way; I pulled him back by his shirt.  “Ah.”  He said softly from the pain in his leg.

We stopped, Shane got on the other side of him as Rick walked in front of him.  Shane put his arms around the boy’s chest.  “It’s all gonna be over soon.”  He told him as he took a black blindfold and started to put it over his eyes.

“What?  What’s gonna be over soon?”  He asked, confused, by now you’d think he’d have figured out what was about to happen.

“Relax.”  Shane told him as he tied the blindfold.  He realized then what was going to happen.  I was off to the side just watching.

“Hey, hey.  No,nonono.”

“Shhhhh.”  Shane said.  He started crying no, as Shane was trying to shush him.  Rick stood in front of him and pulled out his gun and looked at the rounds, he rolled the cylinder then popped it back in.

Shane backed away from him, and we just looked at him as he stood there in the middle of the barn between us.  “Would you like to stand or kneel?”  Rick asked.

“Oh no, please.”  He begged.  I made the decision for him as I grabbed the back of his shirt and lightly tapped his legs to get him to kneel on the ground.  I grabbed his hair so he was looking straight then backed a few paces up, he started sobbing.

Rick looked at Shane, who looked over at me, and then we all looked back at Randall as Rick asked.  “Do you have any final words?”

He sobbed out.  “No.  Please.  Please don’t.  Don’t.”  He rocked there as he sobbed begging us not to take his life.  Rick raised his colt at the boy’s head and pulled the hammer back, as Randall sobbed and whimpered.

Before Rick could do it, Carl walked into the barn.  Rick was tightening his hand on his pistol when Carl said.  “Do it, dad.  Do it.”  He glanced at Carl then looked at Shane who moved to get Carl out of there.

“Are you kidding me?  What did I say to you?”  Shane asked Carl, at the time I didn’t know what he was talking about; now I know that he had asked Carl after he snuck into the wood shed where we had been holding Randall and asked him not to get himself killed.  The kid had been putting his life at risk and after being shot, everyone was a little protective of him.  It was that over protectiveness that drove him to take the risks that he had.

He grabbed Carl’s arm and started pulling him out of the barn, I saw Carl wince so he wasn’t being gentle with his strength and that bothered me.  Rick uncocked his gun and lowered his arm.  “Take him away.”  Rick told me.  Shane stopped and looked at him as he let Carl go.  “Take him away.”  Rick repeated.  He couldn’t kill the boy while Carl was watching, and you know what, then I didn’t understand that.  But I hadn’t been a father, after that, everything changed…I changed.  Today I would agree with Rick’s actions.

I grabbed Randall by the back of his shirt again.  “Get up.”  I growled out as I pulled him to his feet while he hissed and cried in pain.  Shane was pissed as he threw open the other barn door and stormed off while I took Randall back to the shed and chained him up.  Leaving Rick and Carl in the barn.

I placed a lantern we had there on the table, then took the kid’s hands and chained them above his head against the wall and took a rag and stuffed it in his mouth to keep him quite while Rick went to the camp site to inform the rest of his decision.

I wasn’t focusing my hearing on a threat, so I didn’t hear the walker eating one of the cows that had gotten out, I had no idea that one was so close to the farm.  It wasn’t until I heard Dale scream that I focused and heard the growling from the walker attacking Dale, and scrambling from the rest of the group.

The moment he screamed, I heard Rick at camp tell Lori.  “Get Carl.”

“Baby.”  Lori called; I could only assume that he went to his mother’s arms as he had done in the past.

“What happened?”  He asked.

“Come here, come here.”  Lori told him. 

“T-Dog, get a shotgun now!”  Rick screamed.

“I want you to go in the house, lock the door, and stay inside.”  Lori instructed Carl.

“Okay, okay.”  Carl agreed.

I grabbed my hunting knife and lantern as the kid screamed with the gag in his mouth as I ran out to get to the field where I heard the screaming and could hear it plain as day now that I was looking for it.  If only I had my damn bow I’d have been able to shoot it no problem, but I left that at camp.

“What was that?  What happened?”  Glenn asked from the house where he’d been keeping warm.

“I don’t know.  Go!”  Maggie screamed.

I heard Dale scream.  “No!”  As the walker snarled and chomped and clawed trying to eat him.

I saw Rick coming from the other end as he threw open the gate the others following.  “Dale!”  Andrea called, as I saw the flashlights, I focused on the walker on top of Dale, I started to put on a burst of speed, in my mind I knew I wasn’t going to make it.  If only I had to goddamn bow.

There was a blood curdling scream as I heard the ripping of muscle and sinew as the walker’s fingers clawed their way into Dale’s stomach.  I jumped then at the walker knocking it off Dale and onto its back, it was fucking ugly with a dangly goatee and lack of shirt, just pants.  I took my hunting knife and jammed it through the top of its skull killing it.  I pulled it out and let the walker drop as I moved to Dale.

“Help!  Over here!”  I called to the others as they were getting closer.  I waved my arms so they could see me.  “Help!  Run!”  I called to them.  “Hang in there buddy.”  I told Dale.

“Who is it?”  Lori asked as the rest ran up.  Rick, Shane, Andrea, Glenn, and T-Dog.

“Oh my God, oh God.”  Rick said as he knelt next to Dale’s head. 

“Rick!”  Lori called as she was getting closer.

“All right, just listen to my voice.”  Rick told Dale as he framed his face.  “Listen to me, all right?  Just listen to me.”  Rick repeated as Dale nodded, moaning in pain.  “Okay, hold on now.  Get Hershel!”  Rick called.  Being the fastest there Glenn turned and ran back for the house.

Andrea got closer and knelt down next to Rick.  “He needs blood, we got to operate now.”  Rick instructed.

“Hang on, Dale.  Hang on.”  Andrea begged.  Dale was moaning and panting, his stomach was torn wide open, there would be no saving him, he was dying and there was nothing any of us could do.

Lori arrived then as Rick spoke to Dale again.  “Listen to me, okay, listen to my voice.  All right?  Please.  Hershel!  We need Hershel!”  Rick screamed to the others.

“Look at me.”  Andrea said, as Glenn got back with Hershel, Maggie and Patricia.

“Dale we’re gonna help, we’re here.  Just hold on.”  Rick said.

“What happened?”  Hershel asked as he took in Dale’s bleeding form.

“What can we do?”  Rick asked.

“Dale it’s gonna be okay.”  Glenn told him.  Rick moved as Hershel knelt down to examine him.

“Can we move him?”  Rick asked as Dale started to gurgle on his own blood.

“He won’t make the trip.”  Hershel informed us.

“You have to do the operation here.  Glenn get back to the house.”  He screamed, Hershel grabbed his arm.

“Rick!”  Hershel shouted to get his attention, then shook his head, there was no saving Dale.

“No!”  Rick screamed.  Lori and Andrea were kneeling next to him, Maggie and Patricia where standing nearby sobbing as Dale was gurgling his final moments.

Glenn started to cry, Rick put his hand to his eyes, and I felt my own tears for a man that had been our friend.  Hershel moved back as Rick held his gun firmly; he knew what he had to do.  The girls were sobbing, as Dale was gritting his teeth in pain.  Carl ran up then, and saw him; I watched as he looked at the walker, I turned my attention to Dale, so I didn’t see the reaction he had, the recognition on his face.

A few seconds later Carl moved away from the downed walker to Lori and fell against her as he cried.  “He’s suffering.”  Andrea said, Dale was in pain, grunting, and groaning and crying out, his guts spilling on the ground.

“Do something!”  Andrea begged.  Shane, Rick and Hershel stood above him.  Rick aimed his gun; Carol stood behind them and looked at Dale sadly.

“Oh God.”  Andrea moaned as she turned her head away unable to watch.  Rick stood there, frozen, he couldn’t pull the trigger, and so I walked up to him, placed my hand on his easing the gun away.

I got down on one knee, and cocked the pistol; I looked him in the eye and said.  “Sorry, brother.”  The look of terror and horror in his eyes is a sight I will never forget, I took a breath and pulled the trigger.  It was a sad night for us, to lose another one of our group.  I slept in Glenn’s tent that night; I didn’t want him to be alone, and frankly, I didn’t want to be alone after having to shoot.  A friend.


	12. Better Angels

Better Angels

Glenn's POV

 

The night of Dale’s death we didn’t get much sleep, I was on my side when I felt Daryl’s arms come around me, the first since we got back together.  I think Daryl was just as scared and sad and vulnerable as I was that night.  H was scared, for me, the baby, to be alone.  He’d never say he was scared of course, that was Daryl’s way.  He figured if he’s strong, then I’ll be strong and usually he was right.

That morning after Daryl and T-Dog dug the grave, and buried Dale, we all stood there.  From right to left it was Hershel, Shane, Beth, her boyfriend Jimmy, Patricia, Maggie, T-Dog, Carl, his parents Lori and Rick, Carol, Andrea, Daryl and myself with Daryl’s arm around my waist holding me close.

We stood in silence for several minutes, then Rick began to speak.  “Dale could—could get under your skin.  He sure got under mine, because he wasn’t afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt.”  Rick paused, as our heads bowed in sadness before he continued.  “That kind of honesty is rare and brave.  Whenever I’d make a decision, I’d look at Dale.  He’d be looking back at me with that look he had.  We’ve all see it one time or another.”  Rick confessed, I saw a small smile on his lips at the memories his words were bringing up.

“I couldn’t always read him, but he could read us.  He saw people for who they were, he knew things about us—the truth, who we really are.  In the end he was talking about losing our humanity.”  I wrapped my arms around Daryl’s waist as I closed my eyes while tears fell down my cheeks.  Some cried like me, others held strong as Rick was getting to the end.  “He said this group was broken.  The best way to honor him is to unbreak it.  Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives, our safety...”

I looked back at Rick and saw determination in his eyes.  “…Our future.  We’re not broken.  We’re gonna prove him wrong.  From now on we’re gonna do it his way.  That is how we honor Dale.”  I saw a look in Shane’s eyes as Rick came to a close, something that scared and disturbed me.  I never voiced this, I wish I had, knowing now what he was going to do.  Hershel said a small prayer, then we headed back to camp.

Andrea, T-Dog, Shane and Daryl left in the truck with tools and some fence wire to patch up any holes so another walker couldn’t get on the farm like last night.  Daryl also mentioned hearing some in the fields, so they’d take those out as well.  I started to pack up mine and Daryl’s things since we were going to be moving to the farm house, so camp was closing down for the coming winter.

About half an hour after they left, the truck was pulling up and we started to load things into it along with the other cars.  As I placed a crate of pots and bowls in the bed of the truck Daryl walked over with his crossbow held against his back.  While Beth, Maggie and Hershel were there talking with Rick and Shane.

“Gonna be tight, 14 people in one house.”  Rick informed Hershel.

“Don’t worry about that.”  Hershel assured him.  T-Dog walked behind them as I moved to load up more stuff.

“With the swamp hardening and the creek drying up…”  Hershel said.

“With 50 head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing the damn dinner bell.”  Maggie finished her father’s sentence as she implied that it wasn’t safe for us out here.

“She’s right; we should’ve moved you in a while ago.”  Hershel agreed.

“All right, let’s move the vehicles near each of the doors facing out toward the road.  Just leave it there.  We’ll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft that should give us sightlines both sides of the property.”  Rick instructed.

Maggie and Carol were headed to the truck with their packs on their backs as Beth passed ‘em.  I headed to the tent to grab the baby bag and the book, I was using to teach Daryl, he was determined to learn, he was doing great, by next year I had him reading real novels and writing full sentences that were legible.  Daryl put the strap of his bow across his chest then moved to help me get the heavier stuff into the cars.

“T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house.  Keep track of everyone coming and going.”  Rick told him.

“What about standing guard?”  T-Dog asked.

“I need you and Daryl on double duty.”

“Gotcha.”  T-Dog walked off.

“I’ll stock the basement with food and water, enough that we can all survive there a few days if need be.”  Hershel informed Rick as he moved a few boxes and crates to the truck.

“What about patrols?”  Andrea asked as she walked up.  I bent over to pack the bedding for everyone.

“Let’s get this area locked down first.  After that, Shane’ll assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall offsite and cut him loose.”  Rick stated.  I stood back up and saw Lori put gas cans in the bed of the truck with the other things. 

“We’re back to that now?”  Shane asked.

“It was the right plan first time around.  Poor execution.”  Rick informed him, I think the problem was he took Shane along instead of Daryl in the first place, I’m biased towards Daryl, and I’ve never trusted Shane.  Even when Daryl was closed off and angry at us, I trusted him more than I trusted Shane.

“That’s a slight understatement.”  Shane commented.

“You don’t agree but this is what’s happening.  Swallow it, move on.”

“You know that Dale’s death and the prisoner—that’s two separate things right?  You wanna take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest.”

“Thank you.”  Rick said then started to walk away.

“You got it.”  Shane grumbled.  He bit on his thumb nail as he looked at Lori who had been standing next to the truck while him and Rick discussed what was going to happen, Lori stared at him for a moment then moved to help me with one of the bags getting it packed and loaded up.

Before long we had the truck loaded, Andrea closed up the tailgate, then put a tool box in the bed with the rest, before Shane started to drive it to the house.  Rick, Andrea and Hershel with bags and packs on followed the truck.  T-Dog, Beth, Carol and Maggie walked near the truck.  Daryl was driving his bike behind Andrea and them; I was in the truck with Lori and Shane, it was a silent and tense ride with those two, but Rick and Daryl had insisted due to our condition.

Once Shane parked the truck he headed to the VW to ride to the lumber that we had stored not far from the house, so that he could build something for the watch to sit on at the windmill.  I saw Carl head that way while the rest of us started to unpack the truck and get everything moved into the house.

Daryl took some pieces of wood, and headed to the shed where Randall was being held, he was going to bored up the rafters so Randall couldn’t get out should he get free of the cuffs, though we doubted that.  No one had talked to him since last night, but Rick had fixed him up last night so he was more comfortable then how Daryl had left him after he ran out to try and save Dale.

I got the guitar and my nap sack before walking back into the house.  There was a cooler filled with stuff and a pack on top of it against the wall next to the door.  Lori pointed to the living area across from the diner as she said.  “The men are in there.”  Speaking to Jimmy, as he headed that way to place some of the bags, he was caring.  She bent down and picked up a laundry basket filled with blankets as she moved further into the sitting room we were currently standing in.

Carl was back as he followed Jimmy, I headed that way to as Beth came behind me with two or three duffle bags of clothes and other essentials.  I stopped at the dining table and placed my orange nap sack I was caring, on one of the chairs next to where I had placed Daryl’s things already, when Maggie walked in.  “You can put yours and Daryl’s stuff upstairs in my room. “  Maggie offered.  I looked at her.

“With your dad in the house?”  I asked, he seemed okay about my relationship with Daryl, but I wasn’t sure if he would like us sharing a room together, especially when that room was Maggie’s.

Maggie walked over.  “It’s okay Glenn, he understands, I’ll be bunking with Beth.”  Maggie explained, but I really didn’t want to invade her space, and after all that had happened I’d have to talk it over with Daryl first.

“I just—I’m just gonna put our stuff over there.”  I told her as I pointed to a corner of the room.  I picked up the nap sack again and took it to the corner as she walked away, then moved back to grab Daryl’s things including his crossbow.

I saw Daryl get back from the shed from the window, Rick grabbed a map from the living room I joined Daryl, we were just talking when Rick came out.  I informed him about Maggie’s room; Daryl was cool with it as long as Hershel was.  Rick placed the map down and Daryl turned to look at it as they started to figure out where to drop Randall off.  I moved and sat in the rocker not far from them.

“Take him out to Senoia—hour there, hour back, give or take.  We may lose the light, but we’ll be halfway home by then.”  Rick suggested.  Daryl stood back up from his bent position looking at the map reading on the railing.

“This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory.  Good riddance.”  Daryl said, he moved and sat on the railing, he looked at me, then to Rick.

Rick stood and said as he folded up the map.  “Carol’s putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days.”  I stood up as I heard a car’s engine. I moved next to Daryl, who put one hand against my stomach as I saw Shane driving back.  Rick rubbed the maps crease as he finished folding it up.

“That thing you did last night—” Rick stated as he looked at him putting the top of the map against the railing.

“Ain’t no reason you should do all the heavy lifting.”  Daryl told him as he looked at him while rubbing his thumb along my tummy where the baby was, Daryl started becoming more open about our relationship and showing affection.  Shane pulled up and stopped turning the engine off and started to get out.

“So are you good with all this?”  Rick asked Daryl.

“I don’t see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road.  Nobody’d win that fight.”  Daryl commented, he wasn’t clueless, in fact he knew that Rick and Shane threw punches just from the state of their face the moment they got back from that botched trip.

Shane started walking up to the porch where we were standing, Daryl looked at him as he was playing with the map, then he threw the map on the railing as he said.  “I’m gonna take a piss.”  He stood going into the house, I headed back to where our camp had been set up, Andrea had gone that way to get the R.V and wasn’t back yet, now seemed like a good time to check on her leaving Shane and Rick to talk unobserved.

As I got closer I saw Andrea trying to get the engine to turn over but was having problems with it, the R.V. had been parked in the same spot for the last two weeks.

 “Andrea, hey, did you try pumping the gas pedal?”  I asked as I stood in front of the R.V.

“I think it’s been parked too long.”  Andrea responded.

“You gotta tap it three times…”  I started.

“And give her a twist I know, I know.”  Andrea finished.

I moved to the hood and tapped on it as she tried to crank it again.  “Let me see.”  I instructed so she could remove the keys before I swung the front grill out to see the engine.  As I was looking Andrea walked around with Dale’s tools.

I looked at her for a second.  “Uh, Dale told me that in these old vehicles the points get corroded.”

“Screwdriver?”  She said as she offered me a philips.

“Flathead.”  I corrected as I noticed what she was holding, once she handed me the right tool I directed my attention back to the engine.

After I began attempting to repair the engine, I asked.  “Could you hand me a file?”  I scraped around and rotated the tools as Dale had instructed and then stopped.  I placed my hands on the bumper as I felt a sudden wave of sadness overcome me.  “I let him down.”  I confessed, grief filling my voice and washed over my face.  I felt I had disappointed him.

Andrea had a smile in her voice as she said, “He was proud of you.”  Attempting to soften my anguish over loosing Dale, she continued.  “Maybe not in that moment, but you came around, overall, he was very proud of you.”

“I didn’t try hard enough, you at least had his back.”

“I have my share of regrets, but I think that he knew how much we cared for him.”  She tried to reassure me, I felt a fresh wave of sadness hit me as tears filled my eyes.  I hurriedly wiped my tears with the back of my sleeve before closing the grate.

“That might do it.”  I told her tears in my voice, I wasn’t sure if my tears were from grief alone, or a mixture of grief and hormones, something I will never get used to, no matter how many times I get pregnant.

I handed her the screwdriver back then went to the door when she called to me, I looked at her as she tossed me the keys.  She followed me inside, I sat in the driver’s seat, a few tears falling down my cheeks.

Andrea sat in the passenger as I tossed Dale’s hat on to the dash from the floor and started to put the keys in the ignition.  “I bet it’ll work.”  Andrea said confidently.  I turned the keys and sure enough the engine started, first try.  Andrea and I shared a triumphant fist pump, as we laughed.  I put my hands on the wheel and started to head to the house.

We arrived not long before the guys were putting water and weapons in the now empty bed of the truck.  I walked around the house to the other side of the porch as T-Dog spoke to Daryl.  “Only got so many arrows.”  Daryl looked at him as he was holding a gun for him.

Daryl tightened the lid on one of the water battles they were taking a half gallon jug so they’d have plenty to drink, he set the jug down as T-Dog handed him the arrows.  “Is that Dale’s gun?”  He asked as he took it from T-Dog, it was a revolver.

“Yeah.”  T-Dog said as Daryl checked the ammo then clicked the cylinder back in place.  He was putting in in the back of his pants while T-Dog lifted up the tailgate.  “Wish I knew where the hell mine is.”  Daryl had checked his saddle bags on his bike earlier and the gun he’d kept there had gone missing.  Rick walked up then as I started to come down the steps of the porch.

“Ready?”  Rick asked ‘em.

“Yeah.”  Daryl said as he grabbed his bow.

“I’ll get the package.”  T-Dog said speaking of Randall.

“Thanks.”  Rick said gratefully as T-Dog started heading to the shed.  Daryl opened the passenger door and placed his bow in the middle of the bench seat of the truck, then turned to me.

I kissed him for a moment before pulling back.  “I love you.”  He just nodded, we weren’t back where we had been, but, he wasn’t denying my declaration so that was better than last week.

A few minutes later T-Dog was running back telling Rick that Randall was gone.  Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog headed back to the shed as I went inside and got Andrea, Jimmy had overheard and told some of the others that something was wrong with Randall.

Andrea and I arrived a few minutes after them, T-Dog informed us that the door had been locked when he’d arrived as the others were arriving.  Rick was inside examining the cuffs, Andrea was looking at the boarded up rafters.

“What’s wrong?”  Lori asked.

“Randall’s missing.”  I informed ‘em.

“Missing?  How?”  Lori asked.

“How long’s he been gone?”  Hershel asked.

“What’s goin’ on?”  Patricia asked as she brought up the rear and saw all this commotion.

“It’s hard to say.”   Hershel informed her, then he moved to the shed door as Rick came out.

“The cuffs are still hooked.  He must’ve slipped ‘em.”  Rick explained.

“Is that possible?”  Carol asked.

“It is if you’ve got nothing to lose.”  Andrea answered as she joined us.

“The door was secured from the outside.”  Hershel stated as he closed the shed door, looking at where we had it locked, then opened it.  There was no way Randall could’ve just escaped without help, unless he had a mutation that allowed him to do so.

We were all discussing how it was possible that Randall had gotten away, Daryl was to distract with all the noise going on around him to notice anything outside our little circle, suddenly we all heard.  “Rick!  Rick!”  Shane shouted as he came out of the woods and headed for us.  His noise was bleeding from a cut on the bridge, looked broken.

Rick and Daryl looked at him, as did the others.  “What happened?”  Lori asked concerned.

“He’s armed!  He’s got my gun!”  Shane informed us.

“Are you okay?”  Carl asked.

“I’m fine.  Little bastard just snuck up on me.  He clocked me in the face.”  He explained as he got closer.

Rick turned to the rest of us.  “All right, Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house.  Glenn, Daryl come with us.”  I know why Rick chose me, I was the fastest in the group and with Daryl’s senses Randall wouldn’t make it far, especially when the sun went down.

Daryl loaded his bow as Shane said.  “T, I’m gonna need that gun.”

“Just let him go.”  Carol suggested.  “That was the plan wasn’t it, to just let him go?”

“The plan was to cut him loose far away from here, not on our front step with a gun.”  Rick said vehemently, he was clearly pissed.  Shane took T-Dog’s pistol from him, then the four of us started to head for the woods, leaving Hershel, Jimmy, Andrea, Carol, Maggie, T-Dog, Patricia, Lori and Carl to go to the house.

“Don’t go out there, y’all know what can happen.”  Carol begged us, but we knew we had to.

“Get everybody back in the house.  Lock all the doors and stay put!”  Rick instructed.

“Let’s go back to the house.”  Andrea said as she and T-Dog were herding Carol and Maggie, while the others ran for the house.

“I saw him head up through the trees that way before I blacked out.”  Shane informed us as he pointed to the left, I pulled out my gun as Rick checked his ammo as we got into the woods. 

“I’m not sure how long.”

“He couldn’t have gotten far.  He’s hobbled, exhausted.”  Rick said.

“And armed.”  I said a little worried about that after the last time he shot at us.

“So are we.”  Rick stated.  “Can you track him?”  He asked Daryl.

“No, I don’t see nothing.”  Daryl informed him, that was odd, if Daryl couldn’t track him then we were in big trouble.

“Hey, look, there ain’t no use in tracking him, okay?  He went that way, we need to pair up.” 

Shane said as he pointed in the direction a second time.  “We spread out, we just chase him down that’s it.”

“Kid weighs a buck-25 soaking wet.”  Daryl looked at Shane as he asked.  “You trying to tell us he got the jump on you?”  Either he could hear the lie, or it just didn’t add up enough for him to question what Shane was telling us.

“I say a rock pretty much evens those odds wouldn’t you?”  Shane snapped back.

“All right, knock it off.  You and Glenn start head up the right flank.  Me and Shane’ll take the left.”  Rick instructed Daryl.  “Remember, Randall’s not the only threat out there.  Keep an eye out for each other.”  Rick started to head towards the left, I caught a glimpse of Shane’s expression and it sent chills down my spine, this was a bad idea, I just knew this was going to end badly.

I followed Daryl as the sun went down, the darkness making it difficult for me to see, but I knew Daryl could see just fine.  “Root.”  He said pointing so I didn’t trip.  I was holding a flashlight, but of course I wasn’t thinking about that since Daryl had his perfect night vision.

We moved quietly through the trees trying not to make too much noise.  Daryl sighed as he felt how close I was to him.  “This is pointless unless you have a light.”  I was slowing him down ‘cause I couldn’t see in the dark.

That’s when I remembered the flashlight, I pulled it out of my pocket and turned it on so I didn’t have to stick to Daryl like glue.  Daryl looked around but he wasn’t seeing any sign of Randall.

He sighed irritated.  “Come on.”  He grumbled, then moved off into a different direction, I followed keeping my light on the ground or ahead of me, but kept it out of Daryl’s eyes not wanting to blind him.

We walked for several minutes neither saying anything, I was using the light to keep from tripping and slow Daryl down as he was looking for any signs that someone had been this way.

“We’re just back to square one.”  I said, speaking of our group, our situation, the things between me and Daryl.

“If you’re gonna do a thing, you might as well do it right.”  Daryl suggested.

After a few more minutes Daryl saw something, he reached back for the flashlight, I handed it over.  He pointed it at the ground so I could see as he explained.  “There’s two sets of tracks right here.”  We slowed our pace as Daryl followed the tracks, I was next to him so I could see though it was unclear to me, I tightened my hold on my hook knife.

Daryl continued.  “Shane followed him a lot longer than he said.”  Daryl had known he’d been lying and now those tracks were proving what he’d already figured out.  He moved the light up so I could see the blood on the tree that Daryl moved in front of.  “There’s fresh blood on this tree.”  It was still red just barely browned which was why Daryl said fresh, if it was old it would’ve been a different color.

Daryl handed me the light again, I took it as he looked back at the ground.  “There’s more tracks.  Looks like they’re walking in tandem.”  Daryl stated then followed, I was right behind him.

I was getting nervous, I looked behind me as I heard an owl screech and bumped into Daryl.  “Sorry.”  I said quickly as he looked at me, he put his hand on my upper arm that was holding the light to calm and steady me.

He moved back to the trail after a few seconds.  “Yeah, there was a little dust up right here.”  He pointed, I shined the light on the area to see it better.

“What do you mean?”  I asked.

“I mean something went down.”  Daryl explained.

“It’s getting weird.”  There was some slight trimmers in my voice.

“Had a little trouble.”  Daryl moved and bent down and picked up Randall’s blind fold.

Suddenly something rustled, and snapped a twig behind us, we quickly spun around as Daryl concentrated, hearing something moving around out there.  He motioned for the trees ahead of us and we both moved to hide behind them.  I looked at him and he motioned for me to stay put, that he’d go around and try to shoot it from behind.

I wanted him to stay, but Daryl started to head into the woods to get behind the walker if that’s what it was, there was always the chance it was a living person, small chance.  I peeked out from behind the tree and saw someone walking, I couldn’t tell who it was, but they weren’t limping so it couldn’t have been Randall, unless a walker bit him and he turned.  My mind was racing, now, I was looking in the trees for Daryl, but couldn’t see him in the dark.

I held my hooked knife tightly in one hand and the flashlight turned off now in the other as I went back to hiding behind the tree.  I heard its steps getting closer, I turned to run and came face to face with the walker, it was Randall, it growled when I made a startled noise, my fear skyrocketed.

Normally at this point it should’ve reached for me, or attacked me or something, but it started to move its head back and forth, when an arrow pierced its skull and it dropped.  Daryl came running up from behind.  “Are you okay?”  He asked frantic as he grabbed him and started looking for any bite marks.

“Yes, he didn’t bite me.”  I assured him, Daryl breathed a sigh of relief at that as he brought me in for a hug.

“Thank God, I don’t know what I’d have done if he bit you.”  He kissed my forehead as I wrapped my arms around him.

“Daryl, it was Randall, he didn’t even seem to notice I was here.”

Daryl pulled back and looked at me confused.  “Like back in the well and barn?”  Daryl questioned, I nodded, still slightly shaken.

Daryl and I separated, he then bent down and rolled Randall over to check him for bites or scratches.  He turned his head as I turned the flashlight back on as he stated.  “Got his neck broke.”

I crouched down next to him as I shined the light to see, Daryl rolled him back onto his stomach as he lifted up his shirt, then his ripped pant leg.  “He’s got no bites.”  Daryl said confused.

“Yeah, none you can see.”  I said, it was impossible to be a walker without being bitten.  At least that’s what I had thought at the time.

He took the flashlight to see if _his_ eyesight was missing something, he kept going back to the broken neck.  “No, I’m telling you he died from this.”  He pointed to Randall’s neck.

“How’s that possible?”  I asked as I looked at him.  We were both confused, I was terrified.  He pulled his arrow out of its head and stood back up, he tapped my shoulder, I stood after and followed behind quickly as we made our way back to the farm house, we had to tell the others and regroup with Rick and Shane.  We had no idea what was happening between them, that we were about to have a lot of unwanted, dangerous company, all we were thinking about was getting back to the farm house where it was supposed to be safe.

* * *

POV: Rick

 

Shane and I headed down the left flank while Daryl and Glenn took the right, I knew something was off, Shane’s story didn’t add up.  In fact none of it was making much sense.  I looked at Shane as he rubbed some of the blood from his nose off his lip.  “Looks like its busted pretty bad.”  I commented.

Shane looked at me.  “Its fine, man.  Don’t worry about me.”  The sun went down a few minutes later as we continued while darkness set in.

I hung back a minute to let Shane take the lead, I knew he was lying about Randall, I knew he was up to something.  I wasn’t sure what yet, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt, he was my best friend and brother, I had hoped that we could work things out and get back to even ground.  It’s just sad what had to happen.

He paused then looked back at me, he knew I knew in that moment, didn’t change the course he was on as he started walking again.

I moved so I was walking more at his side then behind him, my eyes ahead of me as I noticed out of the corner that Shane looked at me.  He was planning something, something to do with me, most likely to get rid of me so he could have Lori.  That wasn’t going to happen, I wasn’t going to let that happen, but I wanted to give him a chance to come back to us, to be the Shane I had grown up with, that I cared about and loved like my own brother.

After several minutes I finally started to slow to a stop as I asked him.  “Does this way feel right?”

He turned to me.  “As right as any.”

“Snatched your gun, huh?”  This was his chance to come clean, to tell me the truth, we could forget it ever happened and go back to camp.

“Yeah.  It’s my favorite piece too.  Gonna wish he’d—wish he’d killed me when I find his sorry ass.”  He knew I knew and he was still keeping to his bullshit story.  “Go on.”  He nodded his head for me to walk in front of him, this was going to have to play out.

It wasn’t long before I walked out into a field between the woods and the farm house, far enough that no one would hear us, not even Daryl unless he was concentrating on finding us.  Shane followed as I walked, I asked.  “You say he got you with a rock?”

“That’s what I said.”

I moved my trigger finger on the side of my Python as I asked.  “Inside the shed?”  He didn’t answer so I continued.  “‘Cause that door was shut when T-Dog rolled up.”

“I saw that too.  Must’ve slipped through the rafters in the roof.”  That was it, he didn’t know that I had requested Daryl to bored those rafters up so that very thing wouldn’t happen.

I stopped walking a few seconds after he had, and looked down, this was a trap, Shane planned to kill me here.  He led me out here with his lies and now he was going to kill me, did he really think I wouldn’t catch on.

It was quite except for the crickets and our breathing, the moon was high, the temperature dropping as I saw puffs of smoke as we breathed out.  I slowly holstered my revolver.

I didn’t face him, I couldn’t, not if I was going to accuse him of murder.  “So this is where you planned to do it?”  I asked.

He didn’t deny my accusation as he said.  “It’s a good place as any.”  He was done lying, done hiding, we were here, one of us was going to die.

“At least have the balls to call this what it is—” I heard him pull out his gun as I turned my head slightly giving him my profile.  I fully faced him as I said.  “—Murder.”  He started to walk to the side, so did I as we just circled each other.  “You really believe if you walk back onto that farm alone—no me, no Randall—”

“I want you to hush up.”  Shane interrupted harshly as he pointed at me.

“You really believe they’re gonna buy whatever bullshit story you cook up?”  I asked.

“That’s just it, it ain’t no story.  I saw that prisoner shoot you down.  I ran after him.”  He took a breath as he was getting worked up.  “I snapped his neck.  It ain’t gonna be easy, but Lori and Carl—they’ll get over you.  They done it before.  They just gonna have to.”

We stopped walking as he pointed his gun at me taking a deep breath as he pulled the hammer back.

“Why?”  I asked confused.  “Why now?”  I started moving, so Shane moved to keep his gun on me.  “I thought we worked this all out.”

He laughed at that.  “We tried to kill each other man.  What you think?  We just gonna forget about it all?  We gonna ride off into the sunset together?”  He was being sarcastic.

“You’re gonna kill me in cold blood?”  I asked, I was getting pissed, it was in my voice as I said. 

“Screw my wife?  Have my children— _my children—_ call you daddy?  Is that what you want?”  He bit his lip and breathed hard, clearly in pain.  “That life won’t be worth a damn.  I know you.  You won’t be able to live with this.”

He lowered his gun.  “What you know about what I can live with?  You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with!  You wanna talk about what I can do, Rick?  How about what you can do, here I am.”  He put his gun in his pants, and extended his arms.  “Come on man, raise your gun.”

I shook my head.  “No, no, I will not.”

“What happened, Rick?  I thought you weren’t the good guy anymore, ain’t that what you said?  Even right here, right now, you ain’t gonna fight for ‘em?”  He moved closer as he declared.  “I’m a better father than you, Rick.  _I’m better_ for Lori than you, man.  It’s ‘cause I’m a better man than you, Rick, ‘cause I can be here and I’ll fight for it.  You come back here and you just destroy everything!  You caused this, you caused the pain, it’s all your fault.  You got a broken woman.  You got a weak boy.  You ain’t got the first clue in how to fix it.  I ain’t gonna use a gun on you Rick, I can beat you without it.”  He raised his gun and aimed it at me again.  “Take off your holster, throw it away.”  He ordered.  I knew what he was looking for, another fist fight.

“Listen to me, Shane.  There is still a way back from this.”  I took off my holster, with my gun and knife still attached.  “Nothing has happened here.  We’re gonna lay down our guns and we’re gonna walk back to the farm together.”  I assured him, as I threw my holster a short distance.

He slowly lowered his gun.  “Back to Lori, back to Carl.  Put this all behind us.”  I suggested, it was naïve hope that we could go back to being friends, I was closing the distance, he threw his gun and then clocked me across the face.  I was caught off guard by the sudden hit, that I stumbled back.

He came at me again, I dodged then landed my own hit, I would show him, that I could, and would fight for my family.  He threw another punch, hitting my stomach, this was a no holds barred fight.  I threw punches and so did he until both our faces were bloody, and we had bruises from head to toe.  He did a leg sweep knocking me to the ground, then got on top of me and pinned me down, put his hand around my throat and started to squeeze, I had bruised eyes, bloody cheeks and a busted lip, and now I was struggling to breath, that’s when I saw the tears appearing in his muscles.  The pain etched onto his face, he was to strong and it was ripping his body to shreds.

The sad thing was, he was so caught up in killing me, blaming me for everything that he didn’t even realize what state his body was in.  I heard a scream as my vision started to dim.  “Dad!”  Suddenly Carl grabbed Shane’s arm to pull it off of me and he cried out in pain as he fell back.

I could breathe again and stood up throwing Shane off of me as he lost all his strength.  I looked at Carl shocked seeing him in such pain.  It was Shane’s strength, Carl took it, and now he was in great pain.  I had to save him, protect my child, so in my desperation to save Carl I grabbed my knife out of my holster on the ground while Shane was recovering from what had just happened.

He stood up and I stabbed him in the stomach, I didn’t know what else to do, he would’ve tried again, he was a danger to the group, to me and to my family.  Whatever was happening to Carl right then was because of Shane, if I killed him, would that fix it I wondered.

“Shh.”  I told him as he gasped and groaned, he grabbed at my arm as he fell against me.  I slowly lowered him to the ground, this didn’t have to have happened.  It shouldn’t have happened.

I was pissed at him.  “Damn you for making me do this, Shane.”  I shouted at him, my sons cries in the background.  “This was you, not me!  You did this to us!  This was you, not me!  Not me!”  I cried out, he pushed weakly against my face.  I pulled the knife out, he gasped and gurgled on his own blood.  “Not me!”  I screamed to the heavens.  I realized then, that I could do whatever it took to protect my wife and son, even kill my best friend.

His hands, arms, chest, back and legs were all bloody from the tears in his muscles, from the fight, from being stabbed.  He reached for me, I took his hand in mine.  I cried as I watched Shane take his last breaths as I framed his face with my free hand, the light slowly fading from his eyes.

Soon it was over, my sons cries died away as I sat there next to Shane and sobbed for my friend.  Who he once had been.

Carl moved to my holster and grabbed it to give back to me, but I wouldn’t take it as we both sat there for several minutes.

“Let’s get you back to the house, your mother will be worried.”  I told him.  I got him standing, the strength he’d had from Shane gone now.

We started back, we stopped as Carl looked at me and asked.  “Dad, why was Shane trying to kill you?”  He still had a hold of holster as I faced him.

“Carl, Shane was sick, he was in pain and I believe it was driving him crazy.  He was dangerous, and believed I was to blame.”  I didn’t want to tell him the part where Shane wanted him, Lori or his sibling as his own, this way he’d think he was just sick and not what he’d truly become.  I hugged Carl for second, neither of us noticing the noise right behind us.

We parted, Carl started forward again, when Shane’s dead corpse grabbed my back pulling to bite me, I gave a started noise ‘causing Carl to turn around.  “Dad!”   He cried as he pulled out the gun from my holster as I pushed Shane away, I saw his dead eyes and knew he was not in that walker.  Carl didn’t hesitate as he shot Shane between the eyes when he made to grab for me again, that would be twice now my son had saved me.

I fell to my knees after Shane had collapsed.  Carl walked over to me, I took my holster and gun back, he checked to make sure the gun he’d taken from Daryl was still in his pocket, I should’ve asked Daryl if it was alright before giving to him, but I hadn’t thought about it.  I stood as I put my holster back on as we looked at Shane.

While we stood there baffled by what happened, we had no idea that at that very moment, a herd of walkers in the woods was heading for us.  They had just been minding their own business, shambling along, until Carl fired the gun, drawing their attention to us.  We were in trouble, and at the moment, we had no idea how much we would lose that night.  As the revelation that what Jenner had told me was true, had just hit home.


	13. Beside the Dying Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is the end of season two it's going to be packed full of stuff and POVs. Including a brand new one that will be added to season three. I hope everyone enjoys the end of the season, Missing Scenes chapter will be added before I start on the next story of the series, keep an eye out it'll be called Seven Months, not original but it defiantly let's you know what it's about.

Beside the Dying Fire

Carl's POV

 

I was upstairs with Dale’s binoculars, Daryl’s abilities were gone and back where they belonged.  I had them for only a couple of hours, by nightfall I could no longer hear miles away, or see in the dark.

I didn’t like being left behind, I looked through the binoculars one last time and saw Shane and Dad emerge from the forest in the field, so I took the binoculars off and set them down, then while Mom and the others downstairs were busy arranging things so that it was more comfortable, I left.  They were all distracted, so it was easy to sneak out of the house.

When I arrived at the field I saw Shane on top of Dad with his hands around his throat choking him, I screamed.  “Dad!”  Before I ran the rest of the way and grabbed Shane’s arm taking his strength and trying to get his hands off my dad, I was hit with this sudden wave of pain.  I cried out it was so intense and everywhere causing me to fall down and curl up in the fetal position.

I didn’t know what was going on around me, I just knew of pain, I closed my eyes and tears fell down my face.  I heard my dad screaming at Shane, I didn’t hear Shane, I didn’t know what was said, and until it was over I didn’t register that Dad had stabbed him, that he did it for me, the pain I was in.

It felt like an eternity, when in reality it was actually only a few minutes, and then it was over, the pain died away and with it my cries.  I slowly unfolded and sat up as I looked at Dad who was sitting next to Shane’s body, tears of his own slipping down his face at the loss of his friend.

I moved to where Dad had dropped his holster and grabbed it to give it back to him, but he didn’t take it as we both sat there for a little while.

“Let’s get you back to the house, your mother will be worried.”  He told me.  He got me standing, the strength I’d had from Shane completely gone now.

We started back, we stopped as I looked at him and asked.  “Dad, why was Shane trying to kill you?”  I still had a hold of Dad’s holster as he faced him.

“Carl, Shane was sick, he was in pain and I believe it was driving him crazy.  He was dangerous, and believed I was to blame.”  It was clear he was holding something back, but I decided not to push, I didn’t think I really wanted to know.  Dad hugged me for a second, neither of us noticing the noise.

We parted, I started forward again, when Shane’s dead corpse grabbed my Dad’s back pulling to bite him, he gave a started noise ‘causing me to turn around.  “Dad!”   I cried as I pulled out the gun from his holster while he pushed Shane away.  This time I didn’t hesitate as I shot Shane between the eyes when he made to grab for dad again, that would be twice now I saved his life.

Dad fell to his knees after Shane had collapsed.  I walked over to him, he took his holster and gun back, I checked to make sure the gun I’d taken from Daryl was still in my pocket, I should’ve asked Daryl if I could use it, but I hadn’t thought when I took it in first place, and I just assumed dad had, I didn’t know that Daryl had looked for it earlier that day.  Dad stood putting his holster back on as we looked at Shane.

While we stood there baffled by what happened, we had no idea that at that very moment, a herd of walkers in the woods were headed for us.  They had just been minding their own business, shambling along, until I fired that gun, drawing their attention to the farm.

Dad and I started back for the house, with no idea what was right behind us, or the danger we all were in.  “You bit too?”  I asked as I looked at dad.

“No.”

“Shane was.”

“That wasn’t Shane, you know that.”

“Used to be.”  I wanted to know how it got so bad that Shane would want to kill my dad.  “What happened, dad?  Were you attacked?”  That could’ve been the only thing that happened to turn Shane into a walker.

“No.”  Dad turned to me as we stopped, I felt like he was about to tell me why Shane was really trying to kill him, when we heard all this growling, we looked and saw a huge herd headed our way.   “Oh my God.  Gogogogogogogo.”  Dad said under his breath as he grabbed me and started to lead me away.

Half way to the barn between us and the walkers Dad stopped and crouched down to the ground, I was freaking out.  “We-we gotta get to the house, tell the others.”  I whispered.

“We’ll never get through that.  Can’t go around.  Carl, stay close.  Go!”  He whispered urgently as we started running again for the barn.

They were everywhere, we ran to close to one and it snarled at us, Dad pulled me away before it could grab me.  I ran full out with dad behind me, I made it to the barn as more walkers came from our right and left, dad closed the doors behind us.

He grabbed a metal pipe off the ground and wedged it between the door handles to hopefully buy us some time.  A bunch of the walkers started banging trying to push their way in, I was scared, no scratch that, terrified, I was putting all my trust and faith into my dad to keep us alive.  Because if anyone could get us out of this, it would be him.

I heard their scratching as the barn door was creaking and it wouldn’t be long before it broe and they got inside, I whimpered into the back of my throat, dad put a reassuring hand on my back to calm me down.

Dad had a plan, he led me to the part of the barn that held the gas cans.  “We’re going to put gas along the floor.”  Dad informed me.  We each grabbed a can and left the room.  “All right, here we go.”  Dad said as he started to pour the gas on the grass, I followed suit right next to him.  “Come on, hurry.”  Dad told me, I poured faster as I walked backwards with dad to the ladder leading up to the loft.

Once the cans were empty we set them down, the walkers were almost inside, as boards were missing and the ones still holding them back were breaking.  “Oh shit, okay, up there.  Hurry.”  Dad told me.

“Well, what about you?”  I asked.

“I’ll be right there.”  He promised.  He bent down some as he held his lighter out for me.  “Drop the lighter when I say.”  Dad instructed.  “We’ll stop some of them from reaching the house and distract the others, so at least we’ll have a chance.”  I must’ve looked as scared as I felt, he put his hand on my arm.  “Hey, hey, hey, look at me.  You can do this.  Carl…I love you.”   I nodded.  “All right, gogogo.”  I took the lighter and headed up the ladder as he went back for the double doors we’d closed earlier.

I heard him shouting and banging on the door.  “Hey!  Hey!  You want some?!”  He tossed the pipe across the room and threw open the doors.  “Come and get it!”  He screamed as he started to back up, leading the walkers into the barn.  I stood at the top of the ladder watching my dad, he wasn’t scared of anything, back then, he was my hero.

He continued to bait them, screaming at them to come and get him, as he reached the ladder.  I moved out of his way, looking at all the walkers down there while dad was still on the ladder as they were grabbing for him when he screamed.  “Carl, now!”  I opened the lighter and turned the wheel watching the flame flicker to life, I hung it over the edge and then let go.

It dropped into the gas and a bright, burning, blaze started.  Dad got to the loft and put his arm around me as we watched for several minutes as the walkers caught fire and started to reach up, moaning and groaning while engulfed in flames.

We slowly moved back to the exit of the loft, as we got out dad and I started to shoot the walkers around us, we needed to get off of here before the whole barn burnt down.  Not long after, dad and I saw the R.V. driving up.  “Hey!  Here!”  Dad yelled as he waved his arm to get whoever was driving the R.V.’s attention.

“Get in here!”  He shouted as he pointed where he wanted the R.V. to stop.  “Put it right there!  Come on!”  As the R.V. got closer I saw Jimmy in the driver’s seat before he pulled up and parked next to part of the roof that was hanging over.

Dad jumped from the loft to the roof then held out his hand for me, I took it and jumped next to him, I concentrated on not taking dad’s ability, he might need it.  I didn’t feel the shock as he let go of my hand so I guessed that it worked, and I knew with enough practice I’d be able to control this new mutation.

Dad walked on top of the R.V. and helped me over again, we heard gun shots and saw the truck with Andrea in it firing off rounds at the walkers.  The R.V. was now surrounded as we stood there, the door suddenly opened and dad and I heard Jimmy’s screams as he was swarmed.

Dad got on the ladder and kicked one of the walkers in the head before shooting it as he climbed down, while the others were busy eating Jimmy.  Dad continued to shoot walkers as I followed him.

“Carl, now!”  He shouted as I was going a little slow and the walkers were going to be on top of us soon.  He grabbed my arm as I made it to the ground, turning me in the direction around the R.V.  We got around to the front as Jimmy made one last scream before blood splattered on the front windows.

“This way.  This way!”  Dad screamed at me as he led me away from the walkers that were all over the R.V.

Dad had one hand on his gun, the other on my back as he led me around the barn to the side as walkers were in front of us, and behind.  “There, head for the woods now, as fast as you can, come on.”  Dad instructed then led the way into the woods, away from the farm.

Dad had a plan though, we circled around and came out the other side of the house, we ran, I saw Hershel firing round after round at the herd, shouting and screaming at them to come and get him.  He didn’t notice the walker behind him, dad did though and he shot it through the back of the head.

Walker blood splattered onto the back of Hershel’s head, he spun around in surprise as he looked at us.  “Where’s Lori?  Did you see Lori?”  Dad asked.

“I don’t know what happened Rick they just keep coming, it’s like a plague, there everywhere.”  Hershel said distraught.

“Lori!  Did you see her?”  Dad asked again harsher this time looking for an answer.

“No!”

“We have to go.  Find mom and the others.”  Dad said as he looked at me, then back at the mob of dead as he fired again.

“It’s my farm!”

“Not anymore!  Come on!”  Dad screamed as he grabbed Hershel’s arm forcing him to come with us, he kept screaming at the walkers as dad and I made it to the last vehicle there, the red van.  Hershel watched our backs as dad got into the driver’s side and I opened the passenger door.

He used the butt of his shotgun knocking a walker to the ground as dad yelled at him again.  “Hershel!  Come on!”

I got in along with dad, Hershel got in the back seat.  “Go!”  Hershel screamed as he closed the door and dad started the engine, then headed out, I didn’t know if mom was alive or dead, our group was split up and our home was lost, I started to realize that there was no such thing as home, because every time we started to feel safe, we would be reminded how unsafe our world had become.

Dad drove us away, as dad put his hand on my shoulder he tried to reassure me.  “We’ll head to the highway, you mother will be there.”  I looked at him with hope in my eyes.  Hershel was looking out the back watching his farm disappear in the distance.  It belonged to the walkers now, just like Atlanta, the C.D.C, home.  The last place I had felt safe was just a memory.

* * *

 

POV: Daryl

It didn’t take long for us to get back to the house.  I heard Andrea speaking as we got onto the porch.  “I’m going after them.”

“Don’t, they could be anywhere, and if Randall comes back, we’re gonna need you here.”  Lori said seconds before I opened the front door and Glenn and I walked into the living room where everyone was standing or sitting around waiting for us to get back.

“Rick and Shane ain’t back?”  I asked since I didn’t see them.

“No.”  Lori answered.

“I heard a shot.”  I informed them.

“Maybe they found Randall.”  Lori suggested.

“We found him.”  I told ‘em.

“Is he back in the shed?”  Maggie asked.

“He’s a walker.”

“Did you find the walker that bit him?”  Hershel asked.

Glenn answered this time.  “No, the weird thing is he wasn’t bit.”

“His neck was broke.”  I finished.

“So he fought back.”  Patricia suggested.

I continued to explain what I knew of the situation.  “The thing is Shane and Randall’s tracks were right on top of each other, and Shane ain’t no tracker, so he didn’t come up behind him, they were together.”

Lori walked up to me as she begged.  “Would you please get back out there find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on?”

“You got it.”  I told her.

“Thank you.”  She said as I moved to head out and find them.

“Guys get out here.”  I called as I heard something, I looked towards the barn, and right past it I saw them.  Andrea stopped beside me, along with Hershel, Glenn and the others were right behind as they saw them as well.  There were so many walkers, we were all in deep shit.

“Patricia, kill the lights.”  Hershel whispered.

“I’ll get the guns.”  Andrea said, she and Patricia walked by Maggie, Jim and T-Dog back into the house.

“Maybe they’re just passing, like the herd on the highway.  Should we just go inside?”  Glenn asked.  I had a firm hold of my crossbow, it appeared that we’d be putting Glenn’s recent camouflage ability to the test.

I glanced at him.  “Not unless there’s a tunnel downstairs I don’t know about.”  I looked back at the walkers.  “A herd that size would rip the house down.”

Lori walked out a minute later after having gone upstairs to get her son.  “Carl’s gone.”  She informed us.

Carol, Glenn, T-Dog, Maggie, Hershel and I looked at her.  “What?”  I asked.

“He—he was upstairs I can’t find him anymore.”  Lori said her hands on her chest, she was starting to freak out.

“Maybe he’s hiding.”  Glenn suggested.

“He’s supposed to be upstairs.”  Lori said raising her voice.  “I’m not leaving without my boy.”

“We’re not.”  Carol told her.  “We’re gonna look again, we’re gonna find him.”  Carol reassured her as she went back into the house with Lori.

Glenn muttered as he put his hand on the top of his head where his cap was resting.  I grabbed his free hand and whispered in his ear.  “We are going to make it.”  Glenn nodded as he saw the seriousness in my eyes.

Andrea came out with the bag of guns and set it down, Hershel took a shot gun, Maggie took a gun, she handed a shotgun to Glenn.  “Maggie.”  He was confused by that.

“You grow up country, you pick up a thing or two.”  She told him as she checked the barrels in her shotgun.

“I got the number—it’s no use.”  I informed them, there was to many, I lost count after fifty.

Hershel started loading his gun as he stated.  “You can go if you want.”

Glenn cocked his shotgun.  “You gonna take ‘em all on?”  I asked.

“We have guns, we have cars.”  He finished loading and chambered one shell.

“Kill as many as we can, and we’ll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm.”  Andrea said as she finished loading and stood up.  T-Dog bent down and grabbed himself a gun.

“Are you serious?”  I asked, incredulous, frankly I was thinking of grabbing our bags and taking off.

“This is my farm.  I’ll die here.”  Hershel told me seriously.

“All right.  It’s as good a night as any.”  I relented, before I hopped the railing to the ground while T-Dog handed Jimmy a pistol, then loaded his gun, as Andrea started loading up the rest of the guns in the bag.

I got on my motorcycle after I secured my bow, I waited for the others before leading them towards the barn where the walkers were coming from, as we got closer the barn suddenly started to burst into flames.

I pulled out Dale’s pistol as I slowed to a stop and started to fire at the walkers, with my night vision it was easy to hit my targets.  Andrea and T-Dog were in the pickup, they were driving along as she fired at the walkers, Jimmy was in the R.V. he parked at the open gate between the burning barn and the house blocking the way for the walkers.

Glenn rode with Maggie using his shotgun to shoot the walkers while Maggie drove the VW bug.  I trusted Glenn, and I knew that Maggie would keep him safe.

Jimmy sat with half of him outside the driver’s side window as he shot walkers, I sat there on my bike shooting, walker after walker.  They got to the fence and started to push it over, I put the gun in my belt and drove down the line to Jimmy.

“Yo!  Must’ve been Rick or Shane who started that fire.  Maybe they’re trying to get out back!  Why don’t you circle around?  Go!”  I screamed at him over all the noise of the walkers, the guns going off and the fire blazing in the barn.

“Got it!”  Jimmy agreed, then got back in the driver’s seat and headed for the loft exit, I drive off in the other direction as walkers were getting closer to me.

I took several more out, but it never stopped, and for several minutes I tried to beat back the herd, but I was low on ammo and after seeing the truck peel out, not sure who was in it, I knew it was a lost cause.  I drove a fair distance from the barn, and sat there on my bike as I watched it all burn down.  I didn’t know where Glenn was, if he made it off the farm or if he and Maggie got swarmed, I was looking for their car and couldn’t find it.

I sat there thinking of him and my unborn child, fear that they were both dead if we’d been mistaken about his camouflage ability.   I heard a scream, filled with fear, I knew it was one of our group, I knew who’s scream it was, I’d learned to listen for the patterns in the voices of our group.  It was Carol.

I stood and jump started my bike again, then turned around and started back to the house, I saw her running from the walkers, panting as she was trying to catch her breath but knowing she couldn’t stop.

As I got closer she saw me and headed for me, dragging her feet as I turned the bike so she could get on.  “Come on, I ain’t got all day!”  I told her, trying to get her to hurry up.

She got on the back and wrapped her arms around my waist as the walkers got closer, she screamed.  “Let’s go!”  Tears of fear in her voice and on her face as the walkers tried to grab her, I hit the gas and took off.

I knew then that the only place I could ever call home, was no longer a farm, a house, or a town.  Home wasn’t a place, to me it had become a person, and that person was Carol, Rick, Carl, T-Dog, Hershel, Lori, Beth, Maggie, but most of all Glenn, and our baby.  This group, what was left of it by the end of that night, was my home, and I would die for any one of them, if I could’ve.

I drove along the dirt road, Carol had released my waist as she held onto the back with one hand and my chest with the other, I knew we needed to get back to the highway.  If anyone of our group survived that’s where they’d go, but the direction I had taken was the long way around, it’d be well after day break before we got there.

I saw walkers ahead of us before my headlights shined on ‘em, I swerved to avoid them, there were also run down, abandoned cars on the side.  The darkness was already lifting as the sun was starting to come up.

As I passed the walkers they turned to follow but I was too fast for ‘em to keep up.  Carol got nervous when she saw the walkers and wrapped her other arm back around me.

I got lucky though, some point not long after the sun rose I swung around a bend in the road and saw none other than the VW bug, right in front of me.  I swerved to the driver’s side and started to pass them, I looked and was met with Glenn’s smile as he looked at me, I drove past and started to lead the way, we were soon joined by T-Dog in the blue truck.  The rest of my thoughts on getting to the highway, where Rick, Carl and Hershel were waiting.

* * *

 

POV Glenn

After we got back Daryl was going to head out to find Rick and Shane, but there was a problem, a herd of walkers were headed our way.  Daryl told us that a herd that size would rip the house apart, we had to take them out and lead them away from the house.  So we grabbed guns from the gun bag that Andrea had laid out, then we all piled in the cars.

Daryl on his motorcycle, Jimmy in the R.V., Andrea and T-Dog in the truck, I rode with Maggie in the VW bug, while Hershel, Patricia, Lori, Carol and Beth stayed at the house.  Lori and Carol were looking for Carl who had gone missing, we didn’t know if he was alive or dead at that moment.

Maggie drove along the fence line just like T-Dog and Daryl were doing as I stuck my head out the passenger side window with the shotgun shooting every walker I saw.  The barn was on fire, telling us at least one of our group was over there, I saw Jimmy a few minutes later headed to pick them up as the rest of us were picking off the walkers and trying to get their attention on us and away from the house.

“Keep it steady!”  I shouted as I was having trouble hitting them in the head with all the shaking.

“I’m trying!”  Maggie screamed back, she was scared, just like I was.  Right now I needed to be scared, it’s the only time the walkers don’t notice me, and right now I really didn’t want them to notice me.

I fired a few times sending a couple of walkers to the ground, there was just so many of them, and Hershel was determined to protect his family’s farm.

Maggie reached the end of the line, so she turned around, I got out sitting on the edge of the window as I pointed my gun over the roof of the car and continued to fire, until I was empty and forced to reload.

Once I reloaded I sat on the window again and continued to fire left and right taking walkers down, it felt endless and we only had so many bullets.  Maggie had to turn around again so I sat back down into the passenger seat and continued to shoot out the window, we passed the truck as T-Dog drove in the opposite direction.

Maggie turned around again as I pulled the shotgun back inside, we saw the truck head off the farm, we didn’t know who was inside, who was escaping this nightmare.  “Where the hell are they going?”  Maggie asked.  “Should I follow them?”  She glanced at me as I looked out the back window trying to see Daryl, but I couldn’t find him or his motorcycle in all that mess, and I didn’t know what to do.

I knew we couldn’t stay here, I felt tears in my eyes from the hormones, because I knew what Daryl would have me do.  “I’d say yes.”  I told her as I straightened out and looked ahead of us, there was nothing else we could do here, but I was praying that the others were getting off the farm as well.

There were dozens of walkers in front of us.  “Swing it around, swing it around here.”  I suggested while I rolled up the my window.

Maggie stopped as walkers started banging on the hood.  “Oh my God.”  She said fearfully.  I reaffirmed my grip on the shotgun.  “I can’t get through.”  Maggie had tears in her eyes and voice as more walkers came at the side and were banging on the windows.  We were surrounded.

“Head out.”  I suggested finally, we had to leave, it was our only option and Daryl would want me to protect our baby.

“What?”  Maggie asked shocked.

“Get off the farm now.”  I told her.

“Don’t say that.”

“Maggie, it’s lost!”  I screamed at her as we looked at each other.

“The others—we can’t leave them.”  She refused, she looked forward again just as a walker slammed its face against the glass, we both screamed in fear.  Maggie put the car in reverse and started to pull away.

“Get off the farm now!”  I screamed in desperation, my mind on Rick, Lori and Carl, Hershel and Beth, Patricia, Jimmy and Shane, T-Dog, Carol and Andrea.  But most of all, my mind was on Daryl, he was out there on a bike surrounded by walkers.  Though in my heart I knew that if anyone could survive this he would, and he’d find us, I knew that without a doubt, so I had no problems doing exactly what he’d want me to do for mine and the baby’s safety, get off the farm.

Maggie revived the engine, then turned the wheel and hit the gas as she peeled out of there as fast as it would go, and drove, not looking back, not thinking of the home we just lost, the possible casualties to our group.  The fear that it could very well just be the two of us, nothing, at least for a couple of hours.

It started to hit us, all that had happened when the sun came up a couple of hours after we left the farm, Maggie started mumbling.  “Oh my God.”   Over and over again as she drove, I knew she was thinking about her family and all that she’d lost that night.

“All right, let’s just—let’s just circle back to the highway.”  I suggested trying to stay strong, even though right then I wanted to break down in fear that Daryl hadn’t made it.

“Did you see my dad?  Did—did he make it?  Did you see?”  Maggie asked as she looked at me tears in her eyes.

“I couldn’t see anything.”  I told her, as I gripped the shotgun in my right hand trying to be brave, it was what Daryl would want.

“And Beth—I lost Beth we’ve gotta go back there.”

“We can’t go back, okay?  There’s nothing to go back to.”

“But Beth—”

“I-I—think she was with Lori.”

“Did they make it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Patricia?  Jimmy?”  I really wished she’d stop asking.  “What if they didn’t make it?  What if nobody made it?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!”  I told her as I looked at her tears in my eyes, a hand on my stomach, and that’s when it hit her.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry Glenn.”

“No, they made it okay?  They had to.”  Because thinking otherwise wasn’t an option.  I moved my hand from my belly to my face to wipe the tears away.  “All right, let’s just circle around to the highway where we left supplies for Sophia.”

“No, the herd came from that direction.”  Maggie said as she started crying, we drove over a small bridge across a lake in the wrong direction, we needed to get back to the highway, Daryl and the others would head there if they made it.

Maggie was in no condition to drive, scared that her family was gone, scared of the walkers, and I knew exactly how that felt, because that was exactly how I felt.  “Just stop, stop the car.”  I told her softly.  She sniffled as she slowed the car to a stop, she moved the gear shift into park.  “Let me drive.”  I said as I opened the door and got out.

She scooted over into the passenger seat as I walked around to the driver’s side and got in.  I knew that Daryl was alive, I knew where he’d be heading because he’d know that’s where I’d go.

I tossed by cap onto the dash board, and set the shotgun between us, then moved and pulled the door closed.  I heard Maggie sobbing and turned to her.  I took her hand and got her to look at me.  “Hey, hey, hey Maggie, look at me.  Look at me.”  Once she did I said.  “We’re alive, we made it.  Okay?  I’m sure they are too.  Right?”  She nodded as she swallowed.

“I’m sorry Glenn, I’m worried about my father and sister.  But the man you love, the father of your child is more important.”  She said her voice filled with anguish and regret.

“Maggie, Daryl’s alive, I know it.  If anyone can survive out there on his own it’s gonna be Daryl.  Hershel and Beth are alive, you just have to believe it.  We’re together and we’re safe, we’ll find them.”  I told her.

“But what if they aren’t?”

“Then we’ll do what they would want us to do, survive.”  She looked in my eyes and realized that as long as we made it, then so did they, in our memories.

With that said, I straightened up in the seat, put my hands on the steering wheel and headed back to the highway.

It wasn’t an hour later that a motorcycle suddenly drove up beside us, I looked and smiled at Daryl and Carol, he drove in front as he lead the way, not long after I saw T-Dog driving the truck behind us.  We would be okay, I knew that then, no matter what as long as we had each other, we’d make it, or so I hoped.

* * *

 

POV: Rick

When the sun rose I slowed the van down as I was getting closer to the traffic jam along the highway.  It was the only place I could think to go after last night, the barn burnt to ash, just like our group.  I wasn’t sure who was left, I just knew that if anyone was, they’d head to the highway where we left supplies for Sophia several days ago.  I can’t believe it hasn’t even been a full two weeks since she disappeared, since Carl got shot, since we found that farm, and now it was all gone.

It took two weeks to build relations with Hershel, two weeks to be welcomed to move into his house, two weeks to feel safe and secure.  It took one night to destroy all that we had worked for, one night to lose our friends, our family, and our security.

All I had was Hershel, and my son with me.  I didn’t know if my wife was alive, if Hershel’s daughters were alive, if Glenn, Daryl, Carol, T-Dog, Andrea or Patricia were alive.  I had no idea who made it off that farm, and I blamed myself, it was my fault.  I got into a fight with Shane, I killed him to save my boy, and Carl ended up shooting him because I didn’t stab him in the head.  I hadn’t believed Jenner, it was unthinkable and now I had to live with the results of that denial, which the others had to suffered and possible died for.

I stopped the van in front of the car that had the message Carol had written for Sophia, which was smudged and streaked from past rain.  The bottles of drink, and food, the blanket and flashlight still there on the hood for her untouched.  I got out followed by Carl and Hershel, no one else was there, at least not yet, I was trying to stay positive about the situation for Carl.

I had my gun out as we walked up to the car.  Carl turned to me and asked.  “Wait, where’s mom?  You said she’d be here.”  I did promise that, but I was so sure that if she got off the farm she’d come here, we just needed to wait.  “W—we gotta go back for her.”

I faced him and held out my hand to try and calm him down.  “Carl—”

“No.  Why are we running?  What are you doing?”  Carl asked, he was upset, angry and scared so he was lashing out.  He wanted his mother I understood that, but there was nothing I could do, we couldn’t go back it was too dangerous.  “Its—its mom.  We need to get her and not be safe a mile away.”

I bent down and put my hand on his shoulder as I whispered.  “Shh.  You need to be quiet, all right?  Please.”  He looked at my face and sighed as he listened to me.  There was walker blood along his neck.  My hands unfortunately where covered in Shane’s blood, I wanted to wash them but for now we needed to get things together as we waited for what was left of our group to arrive.

He looked at Hershel for a moment then back at me.  “Please…its mom.”  He begged tears in his eyes.

I got on my knee as I started to say.  “Look, Carl, listen—”

“No.”  He pulled out of my grasp and walked off passed the van, he was just angry and grieving.

I stood to follow when Hershel stopped me.  “Rick.”  I looked at him, he was standing there with his shotgun in the crook of his arm, he took a step closer to me as he lowered his voice.  “You’ve got to get your boy to safety.  I’ll wait here for my girls and the others.”  I turned and walked a few feet back to the car, Hershel followed as he continued.  “I know a few places.  We’ll meet up at one of them later.”

I turned back and faced Hershel as I asked.  “Where?  Where is safe?”  Hershel looked away.  “We’re not splitting up.”  I told him.

He looked back at me as he said.  “Please, keep your boy safe.  I’ll hide in one of the cars.  If a walker gets me, so be it.  I’ve lost my farm, I’ve lost my wife and maybe my daughters.”

“You don’t know that.  They’ll be here.”  I assured him.

“And you don’t know that.”

“You’re a man of God.  Have some faith.”  I noticed that over time Hershel started to lose what he believed in most, his God, his faith.

“I can’t profess to understand God’s plan, but Christ promised the resurrection of the dead.”  Hershel paused as he took a breath, then continued.  “I just thought he had something…A little different in mind.”

“We stick together.”  I told him leaving no room for argument, then walked over to where Carl was standing near the van on the passenger side, we stayed there a good couple of hours, hiding from a walker every now and then that would pass through.

We were hiding behind against the side of the van as the most recent walker was shambling through, it passed the back and headed forward not taking notice of us.   I looked towards Hershel and waved with one hand as I whispered.  “Okay, come, come.”  I slowly moved around with my gun in both hands.

Carl was between us as he followed me, Hershel behind him with his riffle pressed close as I moved to the back of the van.  I looked through the open back, and saw the walker through the front windshield as it continued on its way.

I looked around, I turned to Hershel as he whispered.  “I don’t know how much longer we can stay here.”

“I—I’m not leaving without mom.”  Carl said.  The problem with that was, we didn’t know if she was alive or not, and Hershel was right, but I didn’t want to just leave if there was a chance.

“So we’re just gonna walk away?  Not knowing if my wife, your girls are still out there?  How do we live with that?”  I asked in a hushed voice.

“You’ve only got one concern now—just one—” Hershel glanced down at Carl.  “Keeping him alive.  Nature may be throwing us a curveball, but that law is still true.”  How could I ignore that logic and just stay here waiting for Lori who may never come.

I knelt down in front of my son, about to tell him the most difficult thing a father never wants to say.  “Carl.  It’s not safe here.  I’m sorry.”  Carl looked away knowing that I was telling him to leave his mother or even the possibility of ever seeing his mother again.  “We’ll—” I stopped as I heard what sounded like a motorcycle approaching.

I slowly stood up as Hershel, Carl and I looked down the highway,  the first thing we saw, was Daryl.  He was on his motorcycle with Carol holding on as he was driving towards us, but behind him was a green VW bug that had blood splattered along the doors, and hood.  As it got closer I saw that Glenn was driving and Maggie was in the passenger seat, though that wasn’t the best sight.  No, the best was a blue truck that held not just T-Dog and Beth, but my wife, Carl’s mother Lori.

I looked at Hershel who was smiling, we moved from behind the van as Daryl led them across the grassy division between the roads, then turned off the engine.  I walked over and took Daryl’s hand, glad he was alive.  Maggie came running toward Hershel, Carol leaned against one of the cars and smiled as Lori ran up to Carl and embraced him thanking God the whole time.

Daryl got off his bike as I moved to where Lori was on her knees holding our son, I wrapped one arm around her the other around Carl as I kissed her cheek.  Hershel embraced Maggie, then Beth came running up.  Maggie moved and she got between them as they hugged each other.  I also saw Glenn hug Daryl, who put one arm around his waist, the other hand in his hair as he held him close.  They parted after a few minutes.

I stood up, I saw T-Dog standing at the truck’s driver side door just watching us.  I looked at Daryl and asked.  “Where’d you find everyone?”

“Well, those guys’ tail lights zigzagging all over the road—figured he had to be Asian driving like that.”  Daryl teased as he glanced at Glenn.

“Good one.”  Glenn chuckled as he rested his head on Daryl’s shoulder, Daryl’s arm still firmly around his waist.

“Where’s the rest of us?”  Daryl asked.

“We’re the only ones who made it so far.”  I told ‘em.

“Shane?”  Lori asked as she stood up.  I shook my head, now wasn’t the time to tell her what happened.

“Andrea?”  Glenn asked.

“She saved me then I lost her.”  Carol explained.

“We saw her go down.”  T-Dog informed us.

“Patricia?”  Hershel asked as he looked at T-Dog.

“They got her too, took her right in front of me.”  Beth said, Hershel turned to her as she started to cry.  “I was—I was holdin’ onto her daddy.  She just—” Hershel pulled her close as she sobbed.  Then asked tearfully.  “What about Jimmy?  Did you see Jimmy?”

“He was in the R.V. it got overrun.”  I explained, Beth held close to Hershel as she sobbed.

“You defiantly saw Andrea?”  Carol asked.

“There were walkers everywhere.”  Lori said as she looked at T-Dog.

“Did you see her?”  Carol asked again.

When no one said anything Daryl moved towards his bike as he said.  “I’m gonna go back.”

“No.”  I said.

“No!”  Glenn cried at the same time as he grabbed Daryl’s arm to keep him from leaving.

“We can’t just leave her.”  Daryl said as he looked at me, then Glenn.

“We don’t even know if she’s there.”  Lori said.

“She isn’t there.  She isn’t.”  I told them.  “She’s somewhere else or she’s dead.  There’s no way to find her.”

“So we’re not even gonna look for her?”  Glenn asked, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to find her, he just didn’t want Daryl to go on his own without back up.

“We gotta keep moving.”  I heard that walker from earlier coming back.  “There have been walkers crawling all over here.”  I informed them.

“I say head east.”  T-Dog chimed in.

“Stay off the main roads.”  Daryl said, he moved again this time grabbing his crossbow as he continued.  “The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one.  I got him.”  He lifted his bow, aimed and fired, shooting it right in the eye, we all watched it go down.

Daryl was right, we decided to leave the truck, Daryl got his arrow from the walker as Carol and Lori grabbed the supplies off the car that we’d left there for Sophia.  I took the lead in the van with my family and T-Dog, Daryl behind us on his bike with Carol, the VW bug took the rear with Hershel’s family and Glenn who drove.  We were leaving everything we knew behind once again.

As we drove I noticed my gas tank was getting low so I moved to the other lane and let Daryl lead, and took up the rear, I kept looking at the monitor as hit empty and about an hour later the engine started to sputter.

I hit the steering wheel as I cursed.  “Damn.”

“What’s wrong?”  Lori asked from the back seat next to Carl, T-Dog sat in the passenger seat.

“We’ve been riding red for the past hour.”  I informed them.

“Better make sure we don’t get forgot.”  T-Dog suggested, he was right, so I honked the horn to get their attention.

Daryl slowed followed by Glenn as we stopped, I turned off the engine and everyone started to get out of the cars so that we could discuss the gas issue, we also needed to decide our next move.

As I hurried past the car Daryl asked.  “You out?”  Carol got off, as I closed the distance before answering his question.

“Running on fumes.”  I informed him.

“We can’t stay here.”  Maggie said as she and the others got close to me and Daryl.  Lori, Carl and T-Dog behind me, Hershel next to them.  Maggie, Carol and Glenn on the other side of Daryl.  Glenn had his shotgun in one hand, his other was on Daryl’s arm, who was still sitting on his bike.  I was starting to realize that all Daryl and Glenn’s touching was how Glenn kept himself calm and focused, for Daryl it was his way of making sure that Glenn and the baby were safe, it was intimate, even the casual touching of an arm, for them it was a personal reconnection with each other.  I envied their relationship.

“We can’t all fit in one car.”  Glenn said as his hand moved down Daryl’s arm, until Daryl grasped it with a firm but gentle hold.

“We’ll have to make a run for some gas in the morning.”  I told them.

“Spend the night here?”  Carol asked.

“I’m freezing.”  Carl said, Lori had gotten him in his red hoodie that had been left in the van at one point, it was zipped up with his hands in his pockets.

I walked over as Lori rubbed his chest.  “We’ll build a fire, yeah?”  Lori asked, I started taking off my jacket for Carl to wear as well.

“You go out looking for firewood, stay close.”  Daryl instructed as he moved from Glenn to get off his bike and grab his bow.  I handed Lori my jacket, she put it on Carl as Daryl asked.  “Only got so many arrows.  How you doing on ammo?”

“Not enough.”  I told him.

“We can’t just sit here with our asses hanging out.”  Maggie said.

“Watch your mouth.”  Hershel told her, I knew she was just scared for herself and her family, she was also right, we needed a place to make camp that wasn’t so open.  “Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick.”  Hershel told them

I was thankful for the support.  “All right, we’ll set up a perimeter.  In the morning, we’ll find gas and some supplies.  We’ll keep pushing on.”  I instructed.

“Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas.”  Maggie suggested, I saw Daryl put his arm around Glenn, in no mood to let him out of his sight now that he got him back obviously.

“No, we stay together.  God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car.”  I said.

Glenn put his head on Daryl’s shoulder before he said.  “Rick, we’re stranded now.”

I moved closer to them as I spoke.  “I know it looks bad, we’ve all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other.”  I moved off and shook my head before looking at Lori and the others as I continued.  “I wasn’t sure—I really wasn’t—but we did.”  Lori had her arm around Carl holding him close, Hershel was next to them looking at his daughters, Beth got out of the car then and stood next to Maggie.  “We’re together.  We keep it that way.”

I looked at Carol who was standing between Maggie and Glenn.  “We’ll find shelter somewhere.  There’s gotta be a place.”  I looked down the highway.

Glenn moved away from Daryl and came a little closer to me as he said.  “Rick, look around okay?  There’s walkers everywhere, they’re migrating or something.”  I refused to believe that.

“There’s gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a _life_ for each other.”  I said as I paced, I wanted what we had back at the farm, but that wasn’t safe, somewhere safe.  “I know it’s out there we just have to _find_ it.”  I told them emphatically.

“Even if we do find a place and we think it’s safe, we can never be sure for how long?”  Maggie asked, I didn’t answer so she continued.  “Look what happened with the farm.  We fooled ourselves into thinking that, that was safe.”

“We won’t make that mistake again.”  Hershel assured her.  Everyone looked around at each other, our group had been much big just last night and we lost four friends in the blink of an eye because we believed we were safe, or doing the right thing.

I turned and saw some brick ruins, it had walls and wouldn’t be so open, I decided that’s where we were going to stay that night.  “We’ll make camp tonight over there, get on the road at the break of day.”  I told them as I pointed to the ruins.

Carol had walked up to Daryl and asked.  “Does this feel right to you?”  Daryl didn’t answer, just looked at her.

Beth walked up to me.  “What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall’s?”  She asked, she was scared after all that had happened.

“You know I found Randall right?”  Daryl asked.  “He had turned, but he wasn’t bit.”

“How’s that possible?”  Beth asked.

“Rick, what the hell happened?”  Lori asked, I didn’t answer.

Daryl did.  “Shane killed Randall.  Just like he always wanted to.”

“And then the herd got him?”  Lori asked.

They all looked at me, at each other, wanting answers, so finally I knew it was time to inform them what Jenner had whispered in my ear before he died.  “We’re all infected.”  They were shocked, surprised, confused.

“What?”  Daryl asked wanting clarification.

“At the C.D.C., Jenner told me.  The mutatagin didn’t make the infection, it is the infection.  It was meant to keep us alive, but someone dies, and it brings them back.  Unfortunately only the baser instincts, not the you, not the part that makes us who we are.”  I informed them.

Daryl walked away a few feet.  “And you never said anything?”  Carol asked a little angry.

“Would it have made a difference?”  I asked ‘em.

“You knew this whole time?”  Glenn asked shocked, Daryl looked back at me.

“How could I have known for sure?  You saw how crazy that mo—”

“That isn’t your call.”  Glenn interrupted.  “Okay, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone.”

“Well, I thought it best that people didn’t know.”  I told them, they all looked betrayed by my silence, I had been in denial, I couldn’t tell them because I hadn’t wanted to believe it myself.  Telling them would’ve meant it was true so I kept quiet until I had proof that what Jenner had told me _was_ true, I knew then, so it was time to tell them, they couldn’t seem to understand that.

I walked away, they wanted to believe I betrayed them so be it, but I knew I had done what I had to, the others stayed, Daryl prepared to go out and hunt up some dinner while the others gathered fire wood and started to make camp.  Lori though, she followed me, deciding she wanted to talk.

I walked to the fence line that was surrounding this beautiful area, a small waterfall from the lake were a dam just beyond the ruins was holding it back.  The rest of the ruins not far from it, I stood there my gun at my side as I took it in, the trees with their leaves, no longer green, orange, yellow, a few burnt auburns.  Fall was here and things were changing, not just for the trees.

Lori walked up behind me, she put her gun in the back of her pants before wrapping her arms around my waist and chest, rested her head on my back.  “I’m sure you had your reasons.”  She said after a moment, she kissed my shoulder.  “Is there anything that—”

“I killed him.”  I blurted out, interrupting whatever she’d been about to ask.  She lifted her head, I could hear the confusion on her face.  “I killed Shane.  He came at me.”  I started to explain, she let me go as she pulled away from me.  “He killed Randall to get me into the woods.  He planned it.  I had—I had no choice.”  I left out the part about Carl or his ability.  I wasn’t sure how the others would handle it, I didn’t know how his mother would react in knowing that Carl has the most dangerous mutation we’d seen yet.

I also didn’t want Lori to know that without Carl’s help, Shane would’ve killed me, if she was going to be mad, or sad, or angry, it was going to be at me.  “I gave him every chance and he kept leading me further out.  He pushed me, and I let him.  And after a while, I knew—I knew what he was doing, what he was up to.  And I kept going.”  That was my big mistake, I didn’t stop him there, I allowed him to follow through and it got him killed.  “I didn’t stop.  I could have, but…I just wanted it over.  Dogging me every step of the way.  Acting like I stole you and Carl, like—like I was in the way.  Blaming me for everything that had gone wrong since I got back.  I just wanted it over.  I wanted him dead.  I killed him.”  She continued to be silent, I couldn’t see her face or reaction of shock and anguish.

“He turned.  That’s how I knew Jenner—Jenner was right.”  I looked down at the ground, my hands as I held my gun between them.  “Carl put him down.”

I heard a sniffle and some moans, I finally turned around to face her.  Lori was bent over with her hands on her knees as she took deep breaths as she started to cry.  I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder, she pulled away and batted at my hands like she was disgusted to be touched by me.

As I walked to her she continued backing away, I tried to touch her again, she pulled away, the look on her face said it all, clear as day.  She wished I was the one that had died, in that moment, that reaction our relationship was ruined, she wanted Shane.  She didn’t have to say a word, her eyes said it for her, after a moment she turned around and walked away.  I made a decision there, she was no longer my wife, the mother of my children yes, but as for our relationship that was over.  I would protect her and care for her condition that was it, and I was so jealous of Daryl and Glenn, they had a better relationship then Lori and I ever had.  Even before the dead came back and destroyed our world.

I stayed there until the moon was high, it was full tonight, I remember because of the eerie feel it gave off.  Daryl had made a fire while T-Dog kept look out, Daryl had been unsuccessful in finding anything for us to eat that night.  Lori got there first, I followed not long after.

 Beth sat against her father as he kept his arm around her shoulder, her hand in his, Maggie sat next to him.  Lori was sitting on their right with Carl, next to her was Glenn who sat with Daryl as he put his arms around Daryl’s waist and pressed close, Carol sat on Daryl’s other side, and T-Dog was standing on one of the walls with his riffle.

I leaned against one of the walls, they didn’t even know I was back yet, I had come from the other side, they thought they were being quiet but I could still hear as Carol talked to Daryl.  “We’re not safe with him—keeping something like that from us.”  I didn’t blame her, she had a right to question it, but things in this group were broken and I was going to fix it soon.  “Why do you need him?  He’s just gonna pull you down.”

“Nah, Rick’s done all right by us.”  Daryl said speaking for Glenn as well, I knew that anything Daryl said or did Glenn was going to support, it was obvious what the rolls in that relationship were, I respected it.

“You’re his henchman and I’m a burden.”  Carol said.  “You deserve better.”

“What do you want?”  Daryl asked confused by what Carol was after, Daryl’s main responsibility was to Glenn and this group, and yet she seemed determined to pull him away from that, at least the group.

“A man of honor.”  Carol informed him.

“Rick has honor.”  Daryl told her, Daryl trusted my instincts, he trusted my leadership because he knew whatever I did was for the good of the group, our friendship got stronger after that.  I knew that I could always trust Daryl to have my back.

Maggie spoke up then, to Glenn and Daryl, as well as her father and sister when she said.  “I think we should take our chances.”

“Don’t be foolish.”  Hershel told her.  “There’s no food, no fuel, no ammo.”  The leaves in the distance rustled at that time setting everyone one edge.

“What was that?”  Beth asked.

“Could be anything.”  Daryl told her as he stood with Glenn, he let him go as he took his crossbow off his back.  “Could be a raccoon, could be a possum.”  Daryl told her, Carol stood as well.  I walked into camp from where I’d been standing against the wall.

“Walker.”  Glenn suggested.

“We need to leave, what are we waiting for?”  Carol asked.

“Which way?”  Glenn asked speaking about the noise.

“It came for over there.”  Maggie said as she pointed she motioned in the direction of the road.

“Back from where we came.”  Beth said as she and Hershel stood.  Maggie and Glenn got their guns, Daryl moved to the other wall keeping his ears out for any other noises.

“Yeah.”  Maggie confirmed.

“The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark.”  I said, everyone looked at me.  “We don’t have the vehicles.  No one’s traveling on foot.”  I told them, then a branch snapped.

“Don’t panic.”  Hershel said softly as he held his own shotgun close.

“I’m not—I’m not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through.  We need to move now.”  Maggie said, I was sick and tired of everyone putting their two cents in, things were going to change right now.

“No one is going anywhere.”  I told them firmly.

“Do something.”  Carol begged.

“I am doing something!  I’m keeping this group together, alive.  I’ve been doing that all along, no matter what.”  My voice raised in a harsh whisper.  “I didn’t ask for _this._ I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ’s sake!”

Lori and Carl were still sitting on the ground as she kissed the back of his head.  Glenn and the others were shocked at this news of how Shane died, they all knew he was my best friend, they just hadn’t been informed until that moment, I was the reason he died.

“You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us.”  I looked around at them, then at Lori before I explained.  “He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back.  He gave me no _choice._ ”  I looked at Daryl.  “He was my friend but he came after me.”  Carl turned in Lori’s arms and cried into her chest as he was finding out the truth of the conflict last night.

“My hands are clean.”  I told them, Lori was quietly shushing him.  I looked at T-Dog who was refusing to look at me as he continued to keep watch.  “Maybe you people are better off without me.  Go ahead.”  I told them as I looked into the darkness beyond our fire.  “I say there’s a place for us, but maybe—maybe it’s just another pipe dream.  Maybe—maybe I’m fooling myself again.  Why don’t you—why don’t you go and find out yourself?”

I pointed outside our little group to the woods behind me with my gun.  “Send me a postcard.”  I said raising my voice.  “Go on, there’s the door.”  No one moved.  “You can do better?  Let’s see how far you get.”  They looked at each other, then back at me.  “No takers?  Fine.  But get one thing straight—you’re staying, this isn’t a democracy anymore.”  I told ‘em.

I looked at Lori who buried her head against Carl’s, T-Dog was now looking down at us with a firm unpleasant look on his face.  Hershel appeared a little sad and disapproving, Beth looked back at him not sure what to do or say.  Glenn looked resigned, Carol betrayed, and Daryl, he didn’t seem to care ether way.  I left them then to talk or not, either way tomorrow I would start getting some order to this group.  It was my way or the highway.

At the time I thought it was right, I thought it was the only way to protect them, I was shown later that it was a path of corruption and evil.  I didn’t know, I didn’t think, I was just tired of them constantly questioning me and my motives.  The discussions were over, I say who joins and who doesn’t, I say where we go or stay and I _say…_ how we live or die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the end of the season, I hope you enjoyed it, reviews and kudos always welcome.


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